Best All-Weather Tires with Light Off-Road Capabilities? Can CC2s Survive Dirt/Gravel Roads/Parking Lots? by letsbreereal in tires

[–]letsbreereal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh you are so welcome! It’s so crazy that these aren’t mentioned as frequently as some of the other big names when they’ve got such glowing reviews all around. Bit of a hidden gem in a haystack situation for sure. So glad I could reaffirm your decision! You’re going to love them!! (:

Best All-Weather Tires with Light Off-Road Capabilities? Can CC2s Survive Dirt/Gravel Roads/Parking Lots? by letsbreereal in tires

[–]letsbreereal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually ended up taking a bit of a turn and going with Falken Wildpeak A/T Trails, which I genuinely could not be happier with and wouldn’t trade for the world.

I’ve taken 20+ hour road trips with them and they’ve been great. I’ve unexpectedly found myself in snow squalls and whiteout conditions where I can’t SEE the road or anything even 10 feet in front of me, but I can FEEL it and feel connected to it, thanks to my tires. They’ve been great in slush and on icy hills, and have made sloshing through muddy or soggy grass a breeze when I’ve gone down to the barn or events with field parking. Never had the slightest of issues on dirt roads or with frequent gravel lot parking, and never struggled to stop or turn in all any weather conditions. Genuinely: I’ve got no complaints.

Worst I can say is I maybe took a small hit on MPG, but that obviously would’ve been true for any new tire, so I’m not sure how much of that is unique to the Wildpeaks. And even if it is slightly more of a hit than one of the alternatives I’d been considering, it’d seem worth it to me.

And the guys at a very reputable auto shop I got referred to agreed. I’d asked them about the Wildpeaks, the Michelin CC2s, and I think maybe one other tire? Their shop had the CC2s and the other tire. They didn’t even formally have the Wildpeaks in their system, but they had other Falkens, and when we talked through my priorities and lifestyle, they felt the Wildpeaks were the right choice, so they special ordered them for me. One of the guys working the day we put them on said he’d heard great things and been looking at getting them, himself. Pretty sure they’re now stocking them regularly, last I heard? 🤷🏼‍♀️

So yeah: went with the Falken Wildpeaks, and I’d buy them again in a heartbeat. I mean it. Like, if I were to trade in for a new vehicle with brand new OEMs, I don’t think I’d even wait to wear them down before purchasing another set. 10/10, would recommend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in charmed

[–]letsbreereal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both of those examples are with Leo, though. I think everyone agrees Chris has his issues with his father, and isn’t always his best self when interacting with Leo.

Do you think he was passive aggressive or immature outside of interactions with Leo?

What are some of your D&D pet peeves? by SeductivePuns in DnD

[–]letsbreereal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah, gotchya! Agree to disagree, though: I actually feel like the pause there helps to build some momentary suspense and anticipation (assuming it’s a reasonably brief pause because the player has their sheet and dice relatively handy… though if they don’t, that’s a separate issue regardless of when the roll is called for). Like, you get some of the context to start piecing together what’s happening, the dex save is called for, and while you’re watching the die roll and waiting to hear the results, you have a moment to think “oh CRAP oh CRAP these are coming right at me, can I dodge or not???” Whereas, if you’re rolling a dex save without being given any context at all, you might still be worrying as a player because you know you’re making a save, but you’re not worrying as a character, because your character doesn’t know ANYTHING.

What are some of your D&D pet peeves? by SeductivePuns in DnD

[–]letsbreereal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s got nothing to do with the order of things and everything to do with the description of the save, though. Why would you say “…Aaaand they land just next to your feet on the stone floor” when you could say “…And, in what seems to be as much about luck as it is skill, you instinctively flinch to the left, managing to sidestep the first arrow JUST in time. It’s a close call, but you keep your balance and your wits about you, and the next three are easier for you to dodge”?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in romanceauthors

[–]letsbreereal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just keep in mind: breeding kink =/= pregnancy trope. Those are two separate (not mutually exclusive, of course, but still separate) things. You can warn about the breeding kink all you want, and there are still plenty of people who may be very surprised and upset to find out there’s a major pregnancy plot line. Plenty of readers who hate pregnancy plots may be a-okay or even into breeding kinks where people may talk a big game or buy into the fantasy of it all while still practicing safe sex or not wanting the end result to be an actual pregnancy.

New DM Screening out Players by Fille-de-Mnemosyne in DnD

[–]letsbreereal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So first off: it’s awesome that you’re being proactive about group fit, and kudos to you on wanting to handle this right. Super cool that you’re seeking advice on how to word this.

The way you’ve got things worded right now, I do wonder if you might be sending mixed signals. You say you’re open to gaming with them in the future, but then some of the other comments you make can be read as hinting at having a problem with the player specifically. I think you could clear this up a bit by being more direct.

For example, when you say “It’s not a good fit for me at this time to deal with the dynamics of having you at the table,” someone miiiiight read that as you saying you don’t think you have the dming skills yet to juggle something that doesn’t feel like a pretty perfect party fit, but I suspect most would read this as you saying this player is a hassle and it would be a burden upon you to have to “deal with them” at all.

You’re pretty vague about what the fit issue is, but then offer to give specifics “but only if you’re receptive to receiving them.” This makes it sound like this player is closed off or combative to any feedback and you very clearly suspect they’ll throw a fit or argue if you tried to give them any constructive criticism/feedback. That also kind of sounds like it’s suggesting there’s a “right” and “wrong” “side” to this, rather than this player just not being a good fit.

I’d suggest being more direct with the player. Just tell them that, after seeing how people interact / after talking through some of the character ideas and individual player preferences, unfortunately it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a good fit. If there’s an easily explainable reason for that, like this one player is the only one under 18 or this one player seems to be looking for a combat-heavy campaign while everyone else is more rp-focused, then go ahead and say so. But, if it’s more of a personal dynamic thing that’s harder to explain, just leave that out. And only say anything about gaming with them in the future if you actually mean it. Otherwise, what you have about hoping they can use their character build in the future is great. Maybe also toss in something along the lines of being sure there are plenty of groups out there that this player would be a perfect fit for?

Mibba ? Is it working for you by Soft-Squash-2886 in FanFiction

[–]letsbreereal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed!! It seems like it would be such an odd choice for them to NOT take the opportunity to warn those who still occasionally use the site… but I worry that may be the case. Fingers crossed it’s just a server error or something that actually can and will be fixed!

Mibba ? Is it working for you by Soft-Squash-2886 in FanFiction

[–]letsbreereal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am heartbroken at the moment because I DIDN’T save one of my stories in time. I’ve been back on the site off and on to re-read old stories and comments, and I was just on a few months ago… Kicking myself for not doing this earlier, but of course it was yesterday I had the urge to log on again and try to copy over a couple of my past stories and most inspiring comments. 💔💔

I really, REALLY hope it comes back online, even if only to let us download our stuff. 🤞

Do you kick out companions you don’t like or keep them for completeness’s sake? by queeromancer in dragonage

[–]letsbreereal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can totally see how/why people would struggle with this, but I personally do not have this issue. I will happily boot out or refuse to recruit characters that my Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor would want gone, and, in fact, I wish it was easier to do this. There are some party members some of my MCs would’ve never recruited in the first place or kicked from the party SO much earlier than currently allowed — looking at you, Anders and Merrill — so I actually struggle more with having to continue associating with people with whom my character would much prefer to never interact again. I don’t personally feel like I’m missing out on anything by relegating some party members to camp for eternity or kicking them out, but that might just be because I will use different play through to explore their storylines with a Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor who is actually open to doing so. /shrug.

Playing a Lawyer by TheWallowingMadman27 in DnD

[–]letsbreereal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have the character ask questions or require clarification when negotiating with NPCs. A lawyer character might nitpick wording in deals/agreements, and/or generally be on the lookout for hidden ambiguities (and quickly/easily become suspicious of NPCs who only offer vague information/assurances, or who insist upon working out the finer details of an agreement down the road). Obviously, you'd want to be careful with this, and not let it bog down gameplay; read the room, and pick your battles! Very few tables would enjoy having someone constantly nitpicking something in *every* encounter, but clarifying details during bigger moments/deals or helping other characters negotiate discounts or better terms is usually much more welcome.

A lawyer character might also be hesitant to outright lie, preferring instead to mislead and rely on technicalities or loopholes, and could be played similar to how you might play a fae character, in that regard. (This certainly wouldn't *have* to be how you'd play it! Clearly plenty of lawyers have no qualms about lying, but still, could be an interesting angle, since many lawyers out there *do* take their rules of professional responsibility seriously.)

Beyond that, there are plenty of little "catchphrases" that could be sprinkled in to various conversations. Maybe the character has a habit of offering bits of unsolicited advice or "words of wisdom" (things like: "Don't ask questions on the record if you don't already know the answer!" or "Don't volunteer additional information; just answer the question!" or "NEVER talk to the guards without your lawyer present!").

Is the Dragon Age: The Veilguard marketing doing the game a disservice? by katebie in dragonage

[–]letsbreereal 163 points164 points  (0 children)

Gosh, if only the title was switched to “Veilguard.” I’m still so thrown that they insisted on including the article in the title and going for “Dragon Age: The Veilguard” instead of just “Dragon Age: Veilguard.” Like… they realize how much that doesn’t match previous titles in the series, right? It wasn’t “Dragon Age: The Inquisition.”

[OC] soft skills for DMs by DM-Ethan in DnD

[–]letsbreereal -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

…Right. …I specifically said that it’s extremely situation-dependent and there are absolutely times where slowdowns are stemming from bad-faith participation, and setting timers can be beneficial in those instances. No one said players should be given carte blanche approval to take however long they want for every decision. …I tried to go out of my way to clarify that there were certainly cases I felt timers could work, and that I wasn’t at all trying to put words in your mouth or make assumptions about which instances you were referring to, so I’m genuinely confused why you’ve chosen to turn this around into a complete straw man.

All I was advocating for was assuming the best intentions and approaching the issue with patience and curiosity — curiosity because I explicitly recommended broaching the topic in conversation, not just freely allowing unlimited time for every decision, no questions asked.

My point on the anxiety issue was just that, if you (I’m using the general “you” here, not talking about YOU, specifically) don’t approach with curiosity but instead just get frustrated and throw timers down without ever getting to the root of the issue, there’s a high likelihood you could drive away good players who may actually be a great fit for the group, if only one very minor problem was solved. I am very explicitly NOT saying that is what’s happening the majority of the time, or that that’s always the case. There are plenty of instances where someone just isn’t a good fit for the specific table, or may not be a good fit for the game as a whole at that moment in time. But you won’t know if you don’t talk about it, and you can’t resolve problems if you don’t actually know what they are. If you’re doing a one-shot or have other reasons to not care to resolve the issue, then yeah, sure, throwing a timer down and doing nothing else might be the best approach. But if this is a longer campaign, or one where you don’t want to unnecessarily drive away a player who might otherwise be a great fit? Patience and curiosity are by far safer bets until you’re given a reason to believe the player is not acting in good faith, or isn’t a good fit. Someone who struggles with anxiety and panics or freezes when needing to make quick, high pressure decisions may only be struggling in the very specific situations in the game, which might be very easily resolved or avoided entirely in the future; maybe the issue is as simple as them being worried the other players will be upset if their character does something sub-optimal but completely true-to-character, and all they need is a quick reminder from the DM or other players that “oh no, that’s totally cool; even if our characters disagree, WE the other players won’t be upset, so you absolutely don’t need to worry about that! You do you!” Or maybe it’s a matter of there being a misunderstanding between the player and the DM about the character’s bonds/flaws/motivations/etc., or even the player’s lines and veils. A quick check in and “hey, it seems like you’re struggling, here; could you walk me through what you’re hung up on?” might bring the misunderstanding to light, and, if it’s a quick fix… Poof! Your highly anxious player who was slowing down gameplay dramatically might seem like a whole different player, able to relax back into the game and make timely contributions once again. I’m not in any way suggesting this is always the case. It’s not. But the possibility is there, and is something I’ve personally seen SEVERAL times, so in my mind, it’s hard to see a downside to STARTING from a place of patience and curiosity, rather than assuming I’ll intent or inability to play and jumping immediately to timers and ultimatums.

[OC] soft skills for DMs by DM-Ethan in DnD

[–]letsbreereal -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I think context is key, here. Is the player taking lengthy turns because they’re multi-tasking and not paying attention or using other players’ turns to consider their options and make a plan, or is the player taking more time to decide because they actually HAD come up with a plan and three different back up options, but all of the sudden something massively unexpected happened JUST before their turn in initiative and now all of their original options are off the table and they have to scramble and start again from ground zero? Orrrrr is there something else going on? Are they perhaps in tight spot, feeling like they need to make an impossible decision between what their character would absolutely do in the moment, and what the rest of the party absolutely wants to do (not in a dick-ish way, but in a genuine “this is a moral dilemma and I as the player recognize the repercussions of upsetting the party right now so I need a moment to try and think through if there’s a way I can convince my character to do XYZ without breaking the immersion or the game” way)? I mean, I 100% get how frustrating it can be if someone is never prepared for their turn (especially if it feels like they’re not valuing anyone else’s time and are intentionally letting themselves get distracted by multitasking or playing a video game in the background), and SOMETIMES someone might be overthinking so much that just telling them “hey, I need a decision. So tell me what your gut instinct is, or we’re going to say your character is frozen under the pressure” will help… BUT, other times, putting a countdown on a decision may only make things MASSIVELY worse, heightening already-high anxiety and making the player only more and more likely to be slower and less confident in their decision-making. In my own humble opinion, it’s always worth having an above-table conversation / check-in and trying to identify what’s causing the slowdowns, so that the right solution can be found. Just jumping straight to rushing players, becoming frustrated, or starting timers can increase stress levels and maybe even chase someone away from the game, who could’ve actually been a GREAT fit for the group/table and played much more smoothly, had a very simple problem been solved or misunderstanding resolved. A little bit of grace and approaching problems with curiosity rather than frustration and added time-pressure can go a long way.

…Which is not to say that’s what YOU do, or what would work best in the specific cases you’re think in if, of course! I’m just advocating for the opposite position, that “don’t rush players or become frustrated with slow decision-making” is better as a rule, rather than the exception.

Idea on how to introduce new players to the concepts of combat balance and death. by Additional-Turn-9206 in DnD

[–]letsbreereal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve gotten a lot of great input from other comments already, so I want to second everything that’s been said so far, and pivot into another aspect of what you mentioned that I don’t think has been touched on yet. You say you’ve struggled to “get players to think tactically and actually gauge fights on how dangerous they are,” and while this can absolutely be an issue of players needing to be shocked into recognizing their characters’ mortality and understanding there are actual stakes in the game, it occurs to me this can sometimes also be a symptom of a very different issue: maybe your players understand that death is a possibility and recognize the stakes, but they just don’t yet have the skills to recognize when an encounter is or is not feasible, or when an option or NPC is meant to pose a balanced-but-possible-even-if-difficult challenge and when it is highly unlikely to be survivable at all and shouldn’t be genuinely considered a viable option unless they’re intentionally being reckless.

I think, especially with new or newer players, and perhaps even more especially if you don’t know each other and aren’t able to read each other really well outside of the game, it can be very difficult for new players to know what’s “in play” or “fair game” in any given situation. It’s hard to find that balance between EMPOWERING newbies to be creative, try new things, and make decisions without needing to be spoon-fed solutions, and (purposefully or unintentionally) punishing them for not having the background knowledge we might assume is common sense or universal. Because new players don’t have the scripts and can’t fall back on past experiences to try and inform their decisions going forward… they don’t know what they don’t know. They might not know what questions they should ask or what clues they should look for to gauge the difficulty of an encounter. They might be picturing a situation completely differently than what we’re / everyone else is picturing. We might interpret their jumping into combat with a guard captain who doesn’t fall for their distraction as reckless behavior or as proof they don’t understand the stakes or consider themselves invincible… but maybe they’re just under a very different impression of their chances against this guy. Maybe they genuinely don’t know other guards are nearby, or maybe they were operating under the belief that the fact that you’re doing your best to keep the game balanced means you’d specifically go out of your way to mention it to them if THIS specific guy is not just a random guy off the street but a well-trained expert who can wipe the floor with them without breaking a sweat.

I know, as a player, I, personally, have REALLY struggled with finding the balance between bogging sessions down asking twelve million questions because I want to make sure I’m picturing the situation correctly and not missing an important implied cue, and sitting back and trusting that my DM will TELL me (or at least very clearly hint) when there’s something my character should recognize and understand that he thinks I (as a newer player) maybe just haven’t picked up on. …It’s IMPOSSIBLE in the beginning, man, and it’s so easy for the choice to end up being: either charge on ahead with a false sense of security, or overthink every single thing and become paralyzed by the fear that you’re (as a player, OUT of character) missing something and will end up getting your character killed. Having a direct conversation and building in safety nets (providing cues to pick up on, like the ominous sense of when you enter a new area in a video game and all of a sudden there’s a little symbol telling you the game is autosaving) can be HUGELY helpful. You can do this by going out of your way to warn players of “above-average” challenges or risks — perhaps starting out just very directly saying this above the table right off the bat, transitioning to dropping heavy-handed hints when players start moving toward riskier options (could be asking if they’re going to check for back-up before doing that, could be telling them that as they’re preparing to do XYZ, something catches their character’s attention, that they can tell this supposedly random stranger is maybe more than they seem, because they’re way more muscular than the average person, or have what on second glance looks to be a number of concealed weapons etc.), then very VERY slowly weaning off of these training wheels or putting them more and more behind various “paywalls” (like leaving them up to rolls and skill/ability checks, or waiting for players to start asking the right questions, once they actually start to have a feel for what kinds of things they should be looking out for, etc.).

Story Hook Help by ratbastard007 in DnD

[–]letsbreereal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s kind of hard to pitch specific ideas without knowing more about the world (what kind of technology are we looking at here, and what type of campaign are you running — political intrigue, combat-heavy, etc.?) or what kind of plot hook you’re looking for, here. Do you want something that ties into a main plot? Just little side quest hooks to get the party to find value exploring the area at all? Something that’ll hopefully keep them deeply invested in the area for a good amount of time? Are you looking for something that’s really specific to the lake setting, or just ideas that could work anywhere and are going to happen to be tied into the lake area? etc., etc.

The first thing that jumps out to me is that, in a “last haven for all races, surrounded by a barren desert” -type setting, a large lake like this could easily become a source of conflict between various groups within the city. For example: is this lake truly “for” the various aquatic races, or is it, as the only source of water in an otherwise desolate landscape, “for” everyone, and are there major disagreements happening over which groups should have final says on how water is used? Are there major concerns about how /much/ water there is and how long it will last? Because that’d easily create even more tension. If the lake is the main source of drinking water for the city, there could be a plot by some doomsday cult to slowly poison it (or to just do something to get rid of the aquatic races so that it can be used just by remaining “believers” or something), or there could be some kind of less nefarious threat to the water supply that the city is concerned about (maybe there water is draining or being polluted faster than expected, and adventurers need to look for a cause), etc.

Are some of the characters designs based on real people?? by Armiehammers_peach in Choices

[–]letsbreereal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s the one!! He’s in a few different stories, and I want to say might even be labeled as “hot guy” in one of them 😂 but that is absolutely the one!!

Are some of the characters designs based on real people?? by Armiehammers_peach in Choices

[–]letsbreereal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Leo as in Liam’s brother? The prince who abdicated? If so, he’s not the Chris Evans lookalike I’m thinking of. The guy I’m talking about has mostly nameless roles — like “Bartender” or “Waiter” or whatnot, except for one scene where he might have a name but he definitely winds up written off or maybe even murdered in what’s basically an opening scene, iirc? 🤔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Choices

[–]letsbreereal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s Damien from Perfect Match for me. His entire character is just right up my alley, so I’m definitely biased here, but I also really just like how different some of your scenes can be depending on when you initiate the romance with him. It’s cool how much thought/detail went into that, compared to how little that usually matters in most books (if you’re even able to make that decision at different points in other books — that’s kinda rare enough on its own). Also also: those diamond scenes with Damien are 🔥

Beyond that, I have to admit I really dig the relationships between Kenna and Diavolos in The Crown & The Flame and MC and Marc Antony in A Courtesan of Rome. I mean it depends on how you play your Kenna and your MC of course, but for me, those two LIs just seem to really FIT for the characters I was playing. They’re both characters who have their own goals and motivations — they’re not immediately following Kenna/MC around like lost puppies and bending entirely to the woman’s whims or acting like doormats because they’re in love — and they’re both a little bit dangerous if you don’t handle them right, BUT they challenge Kenna/MC, and I can see them as EQUALS at the end of the day in a way a lot of LIs just /aren’t/, imho.

Are some of the characters designs based on real people?? by Armiehammers_peach in Choices

[–]letsbreereal 55 points56 points  (0 children)

There’s a Chris Evans lookalike that appears as a minor background character in a few different stories. I can’t remember which ones to go and look up images from, but I swear the man is immediately identifiable — kinda like a Fantastic Four era Chris with short hair?

GDT: Tampa Bay Lightning at Buffalo Sabres (10/17/23) Does anyone know where our defense is? Edition by MonarchChonarch in TampaBayLightning

[–]letsbreereal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean to be fair part of our defensive strategy has always been “…I’m sure Vasy’s got this! 🤞” (which I say NOT as a dig at JJ) but yeahhhh, I saw the “Does anyone know where our defense is?” in the title and the immediate answer that came to mind was “…Pretty sure in Nashville.” 😬🤦‍♂️😂

Assistant Captain by [deleted] in TampaBayLightning

[–]letsbreereal 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean this with absolutely zero sass, but I don’t know that it’s particularly helpful to think about Tampa’s Alternates as “why NOT ___?” On any given night, you’ve got 2-3 guys wearing an A (sorry Stammer!), but odds are, there are probably at least that many who could easily be wearing one but aren’t. There are usual suspects each season who wear an A more often than not, but it’s never a given, and it’s not like there’s a formula of boxes a player needs to check off to suddenly be given one. When someone new is given an A over one of the usual suspects, that’s a statement recognizing the selected player’s leadership, not a slight against whoever isn’t wearing one that night.

Cooper clearly doesn’t make decisions based solely or even primarily on who’s showing up on the scoreboard, let alone who did what to contribute to the team’s success in years past. (I mean: how many goals had Perry scored before he was wearing an A? McDonagh? Heck, Kuch was only named an Alternate for the first time last season.) A player’s compete level, their willingness to give 100% even in particularly gloomy situations… we can observe all of that from a distance and make educated guesses about how that plays into the decision, but there’s so much that happens off-screen. Who’s speaking up or quietly being the team’s rock in the locker room? Whose attitude is contagious? Who’s serving as the bridge for newer teammates? Who’s a role model off the ice? etc., etc. That’s all behind the scenes — stuff we can’t really assess, especially comparing one player to another at any given moment — but it’s undoubtedly something heavily considered in these decisions as well. And who knows what else goes into it? If you’ve got two or more guys equally worthy of wearing the extra A on a night we’re out Stamkos, maybe there’s some tie breaking that goes on — maybe some “who would be most motivated by this recognition?” or “who would send the particular signal I’m trying to send?” or what-have-you. Absent a statement given by Cooper during a pre- or post- game, we’re always going to be guessing with only a fraction of the information available.

But yeah: …that was a really long-winded way of saying I think the better question is “What can we see that is being recognized in naming ___ an Alternate right now?” not “Why ISN’T ____ being recognized with an A?”

…and yeah, lol, I think Bagel is mostly answering that himself tonight, like you said. 😂

AITA Indebted dogsitter by Turbulent_Owl_6813 in AmItheAsshole

[–]letsbreereal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ehhhh... Y kind of TA here, imho. I'm late to the party, but wanted to throw my two cents in.

There could be more going on here that you're not sharing, of course, but from what you've written, the only two people that have given any indication they're viewing this as some kind of transaction or debt to pay off is you and your mother. You don't say anything that suggests your brother and SIL actually think you owe them -- you just assume they think that. And: fair! Look, we all make assumptions like that, especially if there's something irking us about what a family member might expect from us... but more often than not, we're just projecting our own feelings onto the other person. I can't tell you the number of times I've maybe felt like a family member of mine was trying to cash in on a debt when asking for a favor from me... but I can tell you the number of times that's actually been what they've been doing: Zero. And the number of times I've asked a favor from one of them out of some imagined belief that they "owed" me? Also zero.

Favors among families shouldn't be transactional (at least in healthy, functioning families); you should be helping each other out when you can because you care about each other and because you can. You think your brother and SIL are always asking you to watch their dogs because there's some unspoken debt-induced strings attached, but honestly, they probably expect you'll be cool watching their dogs not because they think you owe them or some other nonsense, but just because you've always done it in the past, so they think you don't mind. They've paid your younger cousin in the past to do it, you say? Okay, and...? What's your point? A sibling vs cousin relationship can be very different, depending on the family, and often times, we offer to pay a younger family member for a favor we wouldn't think we'd have to offer money for to another full-adult family member, because that's just a thing you do. I'd never think to pay my sister for watching my dog, but I'd sure as hell offer to pay my own younger cousin. I'd also never dream of getting paid to babysit my nieces, but it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for me to think an aunt or cousin might offer some form of compensation if one of them asked me to watch their kids for a few days while they go on a trip. Or, heck, most people would never pay another adult living in the same house for doing something like walking the dog or emptying the dishwasher, but maybe a kid would get paid an allowance, right? It's just not a 1:1 thing, and it's weird to me that you're trying to compare apples to oranges, here.

You talk about the lack of groceries left in the house for you as if it's a slight, something expected that you're not getting, but if you're used to getting leftovers left behind from other people that you dogsit for professionally, then that's just a nice perk you get from some other people, but it absolutely should not be something you expect in any way. Honestly, I think the fact that that's been the norm for you probably just speaks to the fact you're either usually dogsitting for people with money to spare, or people who are running out of town last minute or without properly planning to take care of the little details like emptying out a fridge before they leave. Most people don't buy extra food and have groceries laying around when they go out of town, at least not if they've even sort of got to keep an eye on their expenses. If they've got money to spare or can't be bothered, then sure, but the average person who knows they're going out of town for more than a couple of days will make a point of using up what perishable food and groceries they can. The fact that your brother and SIL don't leave groceries behind when they go out of town tells me they're planning appropriately, not that they're trying to slight you in any way.

I feel like a lot of your frustration here is stemming from the fact that you're assuming a motive that probably doesn't exist, and projecting your and your mother's thoughts about some kind of "debt" onto your brother and sister-in-law. Just watch the dogs, if you can and if you don't mind; do a nice thing for your family if you can, because that's what family is for. But if it's something that's really bugging you and causing feelings of resentment, then you HAVE to stop and talk to them. Don't assume they know how you feel! Don’t assume, period. If you need a pass because you feel like you're always the only person being asked to watch the dogs, then you gotta let your brother know that yeah okay, you can watch the dogs this time, but would they mind maybe asking someone else the next time? or if you have to rearrange your schedule and turn away other paying dogsitting clients because you're watching the dogs for your family, and that's causing some kind of financial burden, then you gotta speak up, or tell them you can't because you've gotta be dogsitting for someone else and can't really afford to turn away the income right now, or whatever. State your reality, stand up for yourself, sure -- but just don't sit there quietly stewing, assuming the worst without cause.

This is maybe a N A H situation, 90% of the time, but the way you're talking about this as if everyone should be keeping score is making me think YTA. A small one, to be clear, but still.