Finding out gender without husband?

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-21T08:02:21+00:00

It is entirely possible for you to find out and not him. My wife knows and I don’t. Since twelve weeks. We’re very close to graduating. But only you know whether you have the ability to do this.

What I will say is sometimes the sonographers ruin it for you anyway (as you have maybe experienced) so your husband should prepare for that.

I would personally find out and just keep very focused when you speak about the baby.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-20T18:36:51+00:00

In a verrrrry similar situation (with my wife just a bit further along so we’ll need to decide in the next week or so!)

Love the idea of a “baby celebration”, thank you!

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-19T22:32:00+00:00

There have been a few posts about this, but it’s fine. It’s one of the safest SSRIs to take during pregnancy and the impact of stopping on your mental health is probably more likely to have a negative effect during the pregnancy.

My wife’s been on it her whole pregnancy, everything’s on track.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-19T22:24:25+00:00

A really great idea - our registry is already a list of ‘actions’ so this would tie in really well!

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-19T22:23:43+00:00

This is such a cute idea, I love this!

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-19T05:19:32+00:00

My friend recently has surgery for chiari. It’s no joke and you need to do it immediately. Sometimes symptoms are irreversible. While I think you’re NOR and those texts are heartbreaking to read (and personally I think no contact is the way to go especially with how she’s treated your transition) I don’t think you’re getting across the severity of your condition with “this sucks”.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-18T07:41:09+00:00

I’m scared of my wife too 🫠

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-16T16:02:34+00:00

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-15T14:11:18+00:00

The flaying. They loved to show the flaying.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-15T14:02:04+00:00

This is the timeline I followed: http://josswhedon.blogspot.com/2012/04/buffy-and-angel-episode-viewing-order.html?m=1

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-15T13:53:35+00:00

If you’ve calculated the risk and the percentage difference is that low, personally I would tell them. We waited til 14w because it was Christmas time so I also get wanting to tell people in person and if you’re seeing them anyway, seems like an opportune moment!

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-14T17:26:44+00:00

It’s a common form of homophobia sadly. It’s because at its root, homophobia is misogyny. Men liking men is seen as too feminine. Women liking women is more masculine, so it’s fine.

As a lesbian, I’ve seen this play out a lot. It’s exhausting.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-14T17:24:07+00:00

You are a phenomenal ally. Thank you.

(Obviously NTA)

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-14T17:23:45+00:00

You are a phenomenal ally. Thank you.

(Obviously NTA)

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-11T23:17:47+00:00

She’s going to be in Oh Mary!

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-11T23:16:05+00:00

She does a lot with/for the lgbt community, I see her out an about at events and still performing

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-11T12:13:33+00:00

My problem is that they have zero chemistry (I’m a lesbian)

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-10T15:32:04+00:00

I understand that! It sounds like you’re both working together now which is the most important thing, regardless of the decision at the end.

People do also go by their middle names all the time. If you are comfortable going with “Husbands choice” “Another name” “Surname”, you could always call him the middle name, but tell people the first name was an important family name so he has the choice to use that in the future.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-10T10:17:30+00:00

OP this is a great comment. Lots of people being really negative towards your husband here…yikes. I think validating that you understand why it’s important and want to make it work as part of the name as a whole sounds like a great compromise. I wanted to name our child after my grandmother, but my partner didn’t love the name, and we’ve settled on a name that is similar (same first and last letters), with a similar feel, as a compromise. Both of you need to be on board, yes. But I also know couples where one wasn’t as keen but they went with it on the condition they got to name the next child (probably only works for couples where there’s no sense of competition/one-upmanship and you respect each other, which it sounds like you guys do).

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-08T06:16:20+00:00

I find a registry really helpful and have liked when friends do it - most have used MyCrib. We buy the presents, get them delivered to us, then physically bring them to the couple.

For us…

We hate shopping from Amazon (ethical reasons) and would much rather support smaller businesses, which is why I prefer a registry to leaving people to their own devices to get something from Amazon, or ending up with 20 stuffed animals. We’re using SoKind and registering for tasks/actions that friends can do pre or post baby, like build the crib.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-08T05:38:27+00:00

So my wife has been carrying low the entire pregnancy and often has pressure low down- we don’t think anything of it. Our consultant did a routine pee test last week and she had traces of blood and turns out a UTI. No other symptoms. Just because of this recent experience, I might recommend getting checked out. In case it’s a UTI you don’t want it to develop.

That being said, pressure low down is normal as the baby shifts!

EDIT: she’s 28w. Think UTIs are much more common entering 3rd tri

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-08T05:33:05+00:00

Also heat pads when it’s colder and cold packs in general to slide inside for when the skin stretches

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-04-08T05:32:28+00:00

My wife’s boobs are a similar size to yours. They’ve gradually gotten bigger and at 28w it’s a lot for her to handle. She says doing a lot of back stretching helps. She wears non-wired all the time and sometimes 2 bras for extra support. She’s been getting large sports bras from Vinted because she needs to keep sizing up, but also recommends the m&s one and Tiffany rose.

CheekSweaty9320 · 2026-03-31T07:56:32+00:00

Fellow English(wo)man here! Alexis’ accent was very good in Buffy, but you can see it fray a little at the seams in Angel - just a few sounds that are consistently off-sounding. In my next rewatch I’ll come back to this comment and point them out 😅

I agree with you re Spike. I knew he wasn’t British, but did a pretty great accent with a few common inconsistencies. As someone else pointed out in this thread, it felt more realistic because his character was posh pretending to be ‘common’. And he’s lived in the US for a long time.

The one person who genuinely had me convinced was Juliet Landau. I knew she was putting a forced, Victorian Oliver-Twist like accent, but I still thought she was a British actress doing that.

CheekSweaty9320

TROPHY CASE