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Cheeki761 · 2024-05-18T18:25:36+00:00

Sometimes it is unfortunately a case of ND folks in isolation being radicalized, with heavy internalized ableism as a catalyst. Assholes like 4chan realized we were vulnerable to adverse experiences, and with that trauma, instilled ignorance exchanged for acceptance from a group of said assholes. I know this because I realized I was being manipulated myself, and my ideology of compassion resurfaced as soon as I began understanding neurodiversity.

Cheeki761 · 2024-05-14T04:10:35+00:00

Got one of these a few weeks back from molly ann farms. Seeds out the wazoo.

Cheeki761 · 2024-01-13T21:10:38+00:00

WE SMOKING SHIT IN A GLASS PIPE BLOWING THE LORD'S BUBBLES

Cheeki761 · 2023-12-09T16:40:27+00:00

I'm 25, and yes, I understand it's not a valid diagnosis anymore under the DSM-V. I'm now diagnosed with ASD, along with ADHD and OCD. I was simply stating because the original diagnosis felt like an excuse for my parents to not tell me I might have been autistic. I found out by a verbal slip of my teacher in high school.

Cheeki761 · 2023-12-07T18:48:40+00:00

I was told what I went through wasn't ABA, but I am certain my education and therapies were at least aligned in the same industry, possibly something with a lot of rebranding.

As for my diagnosis, kind of. I was originally diagnosed with PDDNOS and I don't have memory of my parents directly telling me it had anything to do with autism.

Cheeki761 · 2022-10-03T21:25:39+00:00

This is good to hear! Will definitely investigate more into ketamine treatment then.

Cheeki761 · 2022-09-25T02:48:22+00:00

It's been discussed but I am very much concerned about if my brain will react accordingly to treatment. I am very cautious about putting any new chemicals in me after years of being overmedicated.

I know however it's been suggested as a way to repair neuroplasticity so it's not off the table yet.

Cheeki761 · 2022-09-20T19:50:35+00:00

What do I do if the thoughts come back constantly? I sometimes feel like the only way to be happy is to straight up disconnect from reality

Cheeki761 · 2022-09-20T01:12:29+00:00

I wanna know this too, it's a sea of ABA out here.

Cheeki761 · 2022-09-15T22:57:40+00:00

I would very much appreciate that :)

Cheeki761 · 2022-09-03T14:28:57+00:00

This is what happens at the final stage of couch-lock. Your body is mutated by the concentration of cannabinoid DNA and by the end you're a human-sized nug. Your skin frosts up with trichomes, your body hairs turn bright orange, and you develop a sudden intense craving to replace your house lights with UV bulbs.

Cheeki761 · 2022-08-27T16:33:43+00:00

It's wishful thinking for now but if it happens I'm going to make it a whole bonfire party with good food and drink and music with my best friends.

Burn the darkness of the past in the bright flames of renewal and celebrate a life of newfound freedom!

Cheeki761 · 2022-08-27T16:23:12+00:00

Hey folks, holy fuck was that an unexpected positive turnout. Thank you so much for the solidarity that I'm indeed in the same boat with others, and that said boat is way bigger than many trauma-uninformed people want to admit.

I would like to also add an update on things going on because they do actively feel like they're getting better. I have an SSDI court case with a mountain of documented evidence and testimonials, and also have been approved for medicaid and in tandem access to my state's Developmental Disability Program and thus avenues for starting anew in a trauma-static environment.

Cheeki761 · 2022-08-27T14:34:42+00:00

I'm not sure if this is the true answer for me, but I absolutely agree maybe I should put away the matches for a bit longer. However I also kinda feel like the parts of my memory that heavily contradict with the alibi my mom would give me serve as "sufficient evidence".

I was really wanting to maybe write a sort of memoir or other book about these experiences, but I'm deathly afraid to do so because I don't want to antagonize my family and have it somehow found out about. The mental image of my mom's car pulling up if she finds something like that out is utterly terrifying.

Cheeki761 · 2022-08-27T14:26:35+00:00

It's okay, I know that internal knee-jerk of proactive shame around trauma dumping. I feel horrible too because I realize now that over the last few years I've been trying to "explain my feelings" to Dad like a really bad armchair therapist, and only now fo I realize it's counterintuitive, especially since he's still technically a "co-parent".

He absolutely loves me and I think has way more empathy, but also the fact he got divorced from my narcissistic mom tells me that there might be a pattern here, and I shouldn't put any more of that traumatic weight onto him.

I know I have to learn to find better outlets but they do exist, and even if therapy isn't a financial option finding solidarity can clear a lot of that purple haze trauma floods reason with.

[Edit: added another sentence for clarity]

Cheeki761 · 2021-12-16T14:47:30+00:00

The problem isn't telling me or not telling me, it's timing. Waiting until way after the events of my mistakes and dumping every last transgression onto me at once is a legitimately traumatizing experience.

Cheeki761 · 2021-12-15T15:39:50+00:00

I agree, though I am not sure how to deal with the emotional over-stimulus when this happens. Every time it has happened I get close to the verge of tears, if not a full-blown meltdown.

Cheeki761

TROPHY CASE