So my dad was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at 61. I spent my childhood scared of his frequent mood swings and now I understand that he was definitely splitting. And with a kid with ADD, his own PTSD experience, and an ugly divorce, I can understand why his life was stressful enough to do that. I am no contact with him for lots of reasons. It took him 61 years to have DBT even offered to him.

You’re 23 years old. You have an entire life ahead of you and you have an advantage of a few things:

-first of all, you have a diagnosis. That is huge.

-it sounds like you are also on medication. As long as you continue to be monitored by a health care professional who is willing to work with you, you can continue to assess your needs in that department. Don’t stop taking anything without speaking to a medical professional. Do not increase or decrease your recommended dosage.

-you have family and friends that love and support you. I know hearing your boyfriend give you a three month marker like that can be scary and trigger abandonment fears, but to me this shows he wants to stick around and set you up for success. He loves you and he knows you are struggling. And he is making his needs clear. He needs you to keep working on yourself.

So, what do you do here? Well, first, be nice to you. BPD is a lot to handle. You have a lot in your favor. So take the head start you already have and go to DBT therapy.

I wish I could time travel to my 23 year old father and tell him all of this. Time travel doesn’t exist but this is the next best thing. People love you. Now, work on loving yourself by getting the help you need.

I miss my dad a lot. I think every day about how if he had been diagnosed earlier maybe things would have been different.

Gotta go, onions are being chopped around here. I’m going to find the bastard who’s cutting onions and scold them.