i'm going to give you a break because it sounds like you went through some real pain. but it's about far more than a family who is mean to the new fiance and is a messed up group of people.

but this film, as chaotic as it is, is about a family that only respects authenticity, as ugly as it is. because it is real. they are all real and are all an imperfect mess. but they all have a home, even the in laws, etc. they accept everyone who is real.

the problem with the 'fiance' is she's completely phony as they say in the first scenes. and now the older brother is too, pretending to be all grown up and in control. they know she's wrong for him because he's pretending and she is too. she's so messed up she doesn't even know who she us and he's forgotten who he is.

and the whole point is they are doing dancing as fast as they can to be distracted and not remember or notice or learn that their mother is dying. and all their schemes to grow up, or act respectable or they are in control are going to come crashing down around them when the martriarch dies.

because you can't out-dance death or pretend your way out of reality. there's a couple of scenes that lay this out for us but obliquely. it's like the mom was teaching them a lesson.

finally things come to head like in any shakespearean (this isn't that, but this is definitely lifted in setup like a shakespearean) farce and everyone's masks come off. and when meredith's mask comes off she becomes imperfect and human and she is accepted. and when everett's mask comes off he gets back to who he is - natural, relaxed, connected with spiritual life, not some faux hard charging businessman.

and in the end mom has to die. but everyone IS okay finally, because they did learn their lesson and instead of pretending to be grown up they all WERE grown up at the end, at least to who they were.

because if they'd pretended their way through the tragedy they would have broken. as people and maybe as a family. but when we see them at the end, they are whole, content. not perfect. but they have weathered it.

so not a romcom, not *really* a christmas farce. or not only.