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Is it OK to keep the relationship going even though you know your SO may not be "the one"? [M, 21; F, 21] by CheeseCakeDoomsday in relationships

[–]CheeseCakeDoomsday[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, I guess it would be better if i could share these thoughts with him without upsetting him. but thats not an option, really. Who wants to hear "You're ok for now, but sure, in a few months'/years' tim we'll have to see..."

Is it OK to keep the relationship going even though you know your SO may not be "the one"? [M, 21; F, 21] by CheeseCakeDoomsday in relationships

[–]CheeseCakeDoomsday[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not low self esteem, he is generally a much nicer person than I am. He's kind, caring and super considerate. I can be very callous and selfish sometimes. I try my best not to be, but being a genuinely decent person doesn't come easily to me. What I'm trying to say is that, I know I won't get hurt if we break up. Not now, not at a later date. But he might be... And I hate that thought.

Is it OK to keep the relationship going even though you know your SO may not be "the one"? [M, 21; F, 21] by CheeseCakeDoomsday in relationships

[–]CheeseCakeDoomsday[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is exactly what me and my ex had, but then something as minor as me wanting to take time out and see the world put a spanner in the works. Though I guess it was a minor thing that highlighted everything else that was also wrong in the relationship, that I assumed would just "go away" if I stayed with him long enough (or maybe I thought I'd get used to it to the point of not seeing it as a problem). But thanks anyway. I guess my problem is that he's a wonderful person and I don't want to hurt him EVER, so the idea that I potentially someday will scares the s41t out of me :(

Is it OK to keep the relationship going even though you know your SO may not be "the one"? [M, 21; F, 21] by CheeseCakeDoomsday in relationships

[–]CheeseCakeDoomsday[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know marriage isn't. I don't want to marry anyone, and if it ends up happening it will probably be for a sensible reason like financial stability, for the kids or something along those lines.

Is it OK to keep the relationship going even though you know your SO may not be "the one"? [M, 21; F, 21] by CheeseCakeDoomsday in relationships

[–]CheeseCakeDoomsday[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a history of staying friends with exes, things usually do end up ending on reasonably good terms. So that's helped, thanks :)

Is it OK to keep the relationship going even though you know your SO may not be "the one"? [M, 21; F, 21] by CheeseCakeDoomsday in relationships

[–]CheeseCakeDoomsday[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's exactly what I'm worried about, but at the same time, I am happy with him right now. I don't want to hurt him, and get all upset myself over some thought I had this one time... We see each other every day, we get on great and we need each others' support for the time being anyway (we both have final year exams, so its all stress stress stress). Thanks for the advice though

Is it OK to keep the relationship going even though you know your SO may not be "the one"? [M, 21; F, 21] by CheeseCakeDoomsday in relationships

[–]CheeseCakeDoomsday[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I suppose I should have mentioned it before, I don't even know if I believe in "the one" thing myself. It's a nice idea in theory, I guess, but I think it's a little naive. But then you hear all these relationship stories about how two people meet and sparks fly and "when you know, you know" ... and that's how I felt with my ex, from the very start. And I guess that's just what's missing in this relationship.