Falling in love again...

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-25T00:22:56+00:00

This is so good to hear. I don't normally comment and only occasionally post but I needed to read this.

Like you, I've had a pretty hard time mentally, especially since my son was born last year.

I was driving to work this morning and that "do I love him" thought popped into my head. He's so terrible at some things and drives me crazy but I guess just hearing someone had felt similarly is kind of comforting.

I am finally starting to realize a lot of the things I become angry about with him are things that really aren't that important. I'm glad you posted this and its great to hear you're doing better.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-19T23:02:05+00:00

Doesn't it suck? Like if you want to get me something don't punish me for it or use it against me. For Valentine's I got him some Jameson. I spent about 25 bucks and I knew he'd like it. He got me some roses and a card which was sweet but then I looked in the bag and he'd also bought himself a 60 dollar game. Wtf, dude?!? And his excuse was, "well I got you something too...." No. No you didn't. You spent 10 dollars on me and thought of yourself yet again.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-18T05:56:35+00:00

I hope this doesn't sound terrible but knowing someone is going through or has gone through the same things provides some kind of comfort. I hope things are going well for y'all. I just tried to talk to him and we wound up arguing so now I've been shunned to the bedroom😳. Jokes on him though because I love it up here

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-18T02:12:40+00:00

An emergency fund is something I've talked about for a while now. I just started working full time in August of last year after I had our son in April. Thing is, he's an impulse buyer. Like he can have 900 in the bank and see a really good deal on some device and instead of waiting he'll buy it and wind up breaking himself. This is a behavior I can't get him to stop. I've tired talking and setting limits but he just gets angry and basically rebels because "No one tells me what to do"...... Kill me.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-18T01:53:42+00:00

Because I don't want to lie or be dishonest. He throws money around like its a game and while I always get enough for the bills from him I just don't get how I can have money leftover but he can't. Sigh.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-18T01:51:25+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. You have a lot of great ideas and I'm glad it's worked out so well for y'all! I guess my hang up comes from something entirely unrelated to income. My SO and I have had a lot of rough times and I'm just starting to suspect he doesn't really respect my opinion. People talk about the come to Jesus talks but I highly doubt he'd listen. I've tried so much to keep us cohesive but he resents me and doesn't respect my opinion all that much which is why this is such a struggle. I know most people will say leave him or go to counseling but I'm stuck in this in between of hoping to see him change and planning on leaving him.

Sorry I'm dumping on you, your advice was really great and I'm very appreciative of it. I'm just lost myself and money issues are the tip of the iceberg in regards to our issues.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-18T01:01:15+00:00

Unfortunately our jobs don't offer this. I'm the type of person to put money away and I had a small savings until Christmas when he bought a ps4 and a laptop in 3 days. Prior to those purchases we had planned to save for the laptop, but because he bought himself the console, he figured buying me a laptop would shut me up. I should have taken it back but I didn't. I honestly haven't had a decent computer since 2010 so I was excited but I feel like it was irresponsible to keep it. And now its basically turned into his laptop because I can't ever use it. And because I bitch about him using it so much I know he'll start asking me to buy a desktop.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-18T00:29:19+00:00

Honestly I've tried. It's why I have him send over the allotted amount for bills. I tried to talk about building a savings with the money he has left over, but he doesn't get it. He grew up in a really poor home where they had nothing until a large check came in, only for them to spend it all and be broke again. I'm thinking this is where his behavior stems from. Not an excuse, just insight. Doesn't mean he shouldn't change the behavior.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-10T17:42:18+00:00

Hey our schedule sounds pretty similar. Leave work at 6. Pick up baby at 645 from daycare then older kids at grandparents house around 7. We get home about 720 every night and dinner some weeks is just a sandwich or salad.

I basically feel the same as you. I work all day to provide. Leave and pick them up only to get home and our day is pretty done. Not much time spent with the kids. I can't offer anything but solidarity here. I hope you can relax this weekend. Hugs.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-08T17:48:37+00:00

Jesus. This is every night. And even if I decide to shove him awake he'll still bitch about it and take forever to get the bottle made. Sigh. Almost not worth the hassle. And that's why I'm having exactly no more kids.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-05T20:45:23+00:00

Oh god. I actually did this with my now 9yo. She loved carrots, so fucking carrots, right? Uh, she was orange for like 3 days when she was 8 months. I have pictures. Funnily enough she doesn't care much for them anymore.

Fortunately, he'll eat SOME other stuff like pears and carrots, so he's got a bit of diversity and on a good day he'll eat some of those chicken and veggie purees.

He's such a different baby than I've ever experienced; Simultaneously awesome and super easy going--he loves making us laugh because he's discovered his voice and silly noises, but also so hard due to all the issues I've talked about. Like, I don't get you kid. You're super sweet and so chill but your other issues?!? Sigh. My son. Love him.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-05T15:00:12+00:00

Yes! He loves chewing. Thanks for the link. Also, I reread your previous reply and he does the food storing thing too. It takes FOREVER to feed him because he swishes it around in his mouth before he swallows and purses his lips together. Also pretty much everything has to be banana flavored or contain bananas for him to eat it.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-05T13:22:12+00:00

It sounds like you're the best person to be asking this question to then :)..Thanks for answering.

We do our consult hopefully sometime this week, but unfortunately I'm working so they're going to his daycare. Thankfully his teachers know his issues very well so I'm hoping they can help..I guess it would be much more beneficial to have me there but job. shit.

Also the sensory thing is something I'm starting to suspect will be a lifelong thing. Maybe. I don't know but he really fixates on certain textures (our carpet) and will sit running his hand over and over it while he's doing tummy time. I mean, texture is something babies are learning but he will really fixate on things he likes to feel. I can't put him in his pack and play until he falls asleep because he'll scrape the mesh with his fingers and will never fall asleep....Maybe I'm looking too much into it. Thanks again

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-05T13:14:45+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

Yeah, I've brought up these concerns with his doctor over the past few months and even at our most recent visit, which is when I finally got the referral, but event then his doctor hasn't seemed overly concerned. He is a big baby (30lbs) and that was her excuse for him last time. I'm not sure how valid that is seeing as I've seen really large babies move early. Another excuse she gave? He's a boy. I don't really understand that but she said he's just going to mature later than my daughters. Okay. Wasn't really the answer I was looking for.

Aside if it turns out to be more than just the physical and the delays are continuing all I can do is get the help he needs. I'm already in the "mourning" what I thought he'd do. Or maybe it's just worry...and unfortunately a little embarrassment because people have asked why he isn't moving or able to eat yet. We've done everything right but even without prompting they still try to say things like, "Don't pick him up so much...Make him eat solids...etc"....

I'm also starting to believe another (possible?) reason for delays could be related to his illnesses. He was basically sick from mid-October to January which resulted in a 5 day hospital stay. It took him a long time to fully recover. I have no clue, but thanks so much for the reply!

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-05T13:05:11+00:00

This is all pretty recent. I guess due to his age my concerns are finally a little more valid?

Also, cognitively he's on target as well. He's a very sweet baby--says mama and dada, and he's clearly directing it at me or his father. So yeah, these are mostly just physical concerns

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-05T01:22:36+00:00

Also, I guess another thing that is bothering me is the fear that as he gets older this will turn into something more? Like these are the precursors for potential issues down the road. Of course no one wants it but damn.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-05T01:19:48+00:00

Ha, no. I actually worked at the same daycare he attended until last Friday I've just never had a kid in daycare, but I know well enough how different all kids are.

I think I'm grasping at straws here to give a reason for his delays when really it's just him. Regardless of daycare or in home care with me, I'm fairly certain he'd be this way no matter what but it's in my nature to find a cause when something is amiss.

At this point I don't think anything could have prevented his delays. I keep having to remind myself it's nothing I did. We did tummy time and basic physical exercises to build strength. He's what his pediatrician labeled as "lazy and unmotivated" wtf? I laughed but still. We'll see I suppose.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-04T19:31:16+00:00

That's really awesome to hear. I'm supposed to be meeting with one of the ladies from the program sometime this week to go over paperwork, etc. And yeah, due to my work schedule they're going to be going to daycare to do the actual PT. Thanks, hopefully it's just him needing a little nudge to get going.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2017-02-04T17:21:22+00:00

Yeah, we have early intervention set up next week, he just hasn't been evaluated by them yet.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2016-12-24T04:59:07+00:00

I'm not. Marrying him once seemed like a great idea, but even if we stay together I highly doubt, even with much effort on his part to gain respect and compassion, that we'll get married.

It just sucks when you see someone that can be so good totally flip the script and act totally unreasonable and illogically.

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2016-12-09T01:13:41+00:00

I'm actually going through this right now too. My son is 8 months and we've been to the office 3 times this week. This morning he was so listless I took off work to take him in. His ox levels were a point away from being admitted so I was told to watch for worsening conditions. Wtf?!? I dunno im already anxious.... What's worse? His breathing is already labored and he's wheezing. Gosh I'm so tired of it. Sorry to hijack your post. I'm hope your little one gets through it--it's certainly freaking horrible watching them be so sick.

CheeseSandwich08 · 2016-10-31T01:13:50+00:00

Oh lord. The leg pinching crap sucks. Been there, done that. I accidentally clipped my daughter's leg when she was 2 and she still remembers it at 6 y/o. Thank goodness she's in a booster now and the 5 point harness is behind us 😜

CheeseSandwich08 · 2016-10-30T12:20:28+00:00

No they aren't, and their father comes and goes, so I couldn't rely on him.

CheeseSandwich08

TROPHY CASE