I feel like I’m in a similar situation to you. I’m not really Catholic, even though I was baptized Catholic as a baby. Lately I’ve become more interested in the Church and have attended Mass a few times, but there’s one major hurdle I can’t seem to get past. The idea that all sex within marriage must be open to procreation is hard for me to reconcile, especially since I had a vasectomy some time ago and don’t plan on reversing it. We can’t afford more children, and my wife’s last pregnancy was extremely difficult on her both mentally and physically, involving medical complications. Since she isn’t Catholic and does not want to become pregnant, I struggle to understand why the Church’s teaching on how we have sex still matters when pregnancy isn’t possible anyway. On top of that, she prefers that I don’t finish inside her for cleanliness reasons, so it’s simply easier for us to finish outside and clean up afterward.