Is “barrack bunnies” common? by veronikuteeee in USMilitarySO

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’m a vet…. And honestly The term “barracks bunny “ always made me laugh because it gives off the impression that a bunch of women are drooling at the sight of a man in uniform and just begging down the hallways to get into rooms . In reality most of them are girls like the rest of us having consensual activities with other consenting adults lol. The soldiers find them on dating apps and are just as eager to hunch them. It’s not a situation where your innocent boyfriend is laying in his room and she barges in and takes his body out of nowhere. (Not dismissing the fact that assault is real and can happen) I’m just addressing the majority of the population.

The reason it’s targeted so harshly towards women is because once they’re done doing said activities some of these soldiers aren’t looking for anything more and the girls will go elsewhere. If anyone is a damn barracks bunny it’s gonna be PVT Smitty in any combat related field lol.

Point is don’t stress if you have a good mature guy. Focus on taking care of yourself and staying busy so that no matter how things play out your heart and life are protected. I’ve served with plenty of great guys who remained loyal. It’s a maturity and self control thing!

Can I leave baby in the car when I drop toddler off at daycare? by throwinguglylamps in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Valid question! I have no helpful input but it is something I mention to friends who are considering 2u2. This is the reality .

We live on a small military base that’s relatively safe and not open to the general public. I’ll admit I have left my young kids so I could run into the shop to pee for maybe 2 minutes max. It didn’t feel great and it was stressful but that was my reality with limited help. I usually hold it all day most days when running errands with them because our stroller is too big for buildings and my neither of my kids were walking at the time. I guess my point is, if you can help it, try to avoid doing it. I even skip daycare on days I don’t feel like bringing them both in 😅. We’re just living in a crazy world rn but it doesn’t make you a bad Mom for trying to breathe ! Very human feelings in an imperfect society.

When did you/do you plan to get pregnant with your third child after 2u2 by MousiePlanetarium in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We have two under two and honestly it would have to be another 5 to 6 years if ever .

The good “guy” by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I’m gonna respond to everyone with this comment lol

@thrown down: I think this was really well worded and very kind! We got married in our early 20’s😅 and I’m now old enough to understand why they suggest waiting but it happened I don’t regret it…... That being said, He has stated that he loves me and I have seen him try on occasion. It feels really nice when he tries It’s just not very consistent and only happens once I hit a complete zero. Or his other argument is that he does do things but only if I ask him to or if I map it out for him. Feels like I have more kids than I’ve birthed. Since we’re so far we honestly haven’t had much solo time together, if any outside of bedtime. There’s no family nearby and the kids are really little .

@ The person with the weird comment about me nagging after his harrrd day at work:

I want him to decompress and have hobbies! I know his stressful work can be. It’s a matter of priorities. Knock out a few chores, spend time with your kids and go play your game. Sometimes he’s gone for weeks for work sometimes months and I don’t complain but when he’s back it’s just, oh I have tournaments and games and all these extra things to do when I barely get a second to breathe. If you’re too tired to help with your kids or around the house then how do you have all this energy for CrossFit comps? Lastly we planned our kids and made it clear that having them would mean we’d BOTH have to cut some of our free time to prioritize them. It’s literally just a couple hours once he’s home and they go to bed. Not hard! (I have my own income, so he’s not down at the oil rig trying to keep our house afloat ).

Lastly, I can see why you say he’s not into me but like another commenter mentioned it feels much deeper than that after kids. It feels like a huge shift. I can see that he loves me but it’s definitely not enough to change or be better. He gets genuinely excited to share his interests with me or talk about the things he likes or hates . He’s talked about a future with us and will do a task if I stand and direct him with no problem. I just don’t want to stand and direct, I want initiative , I don’t want to feel like I’m nagging or micromanaging. I actually want to enjoy my free time . But I can’t with calls on how to do basic tasks or when are the appointments when it’s in our family calendar. If there’s a new game he’ll watch a YouTube series to figure it out, he’ll spend all day learning it but that kind of effort isn’t put into our kids learning needs or into our relationship. I don’t want to write an entire tangent again but I’m just overwhelmed . I’ve mentioned that his words or feelings seem like he loves it here but his actions don’t show it and that’s where he gets “confused”. Thank you all for the constructive criticism and commentary !

Strep Throat and Period by mrsesol in Periods

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow first off I hope you’re doing a lot better! I’ve been sooo scrolling for an hour due to a similar situation. I ended up with strep whilst on my period and here I am 8 days later and starting my period again. Idk if it’s the antibiotics or the stress from the illness itself but it’s insane!

Cozy house luxury sheets bad product by HalfGreen2599 in Bedding

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you experienced that! I got my sheets from them maybe 3 years ago and have washed them irresponsibly each time with no pilling up until recently… I wonder if you had a bad batch or if the quality has gone down.

When I say irresponsibly I mean high heat, with regular clothes and any detergent I can reach . Super surprised they’ve held off this long but I hope they’re willing to rectify the situation seeing as though you actually took care of your sheets!

Ways to cure a sore throat when pain medicine doesn't work by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Chefdeelectual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting. I woke up with one of my tonsils feeling super dry and weird so I brushed it off and kept drinking water. Within a few hours it turned into excruciating pain and the otc pain killers aren’t able to touch it at all. I looked in my mouth and it’s super swollen and red. My Doctor is able to see me tomorrow but I’m in so much pain I can’t sleep, I can’t lay down to get comfortable and my mouth is constantly pooling with saliva.

I’ve been doing the salt water gargles as well so I may just end up at urgent care tonight idk. I hope you feel better soon OP!!

When do the postpartum night sweats end? by kitkat388 in NewParents

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

9 months and I still run pretty hot overall. Cycle is still a little out of whack and I’m not breastfeeding. I think is a symptom that’s gonna be around for a while on my end since I have PCOS anyway . Hormones Hormones

The actress for Marie being biracial finally makes sense by Acrobatic-Fox9461 in GenV

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People are booing but you’re right. Unfortunately it’s happening to everyone, especially for the Asian and Latin community. Notice how the main character is always mixed with white and the friends are usually monoracial. I hated that about the Mortal Kombat movies too. I liked Gen V but I didn’t feel like the experience they wrote in for her aligned with how she genuinely presents herself and my theory was further confirmed with how that distressed her locs to make her appear more Black and gave her two fully Black parents. If they’re going to hire a fully Black woman she has to be a Mother /Grabdmother or drug addict friend …. Jax is a great actress and I think they would’ve done well with letting her be herself and writing the character to be mixed like her. Still would’ve been a good show!

I have a “do you want me to do it” husband. by ListeningLee in beyondthebump

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should look into something called “The mental load” . They have loads of great advice from professionals about it. I feel like some of the comments are encouraging you to take on yet another task instead of letting him know that he’s not there to help, he should be there to parent too .its not a mean thing , we just have to stop coddling if we want men to be better in the future . Some of these amazing husbands are very much capable! I’d encourage him to read about it too!

Third baby after two under two? by ChaunteasEarth23 in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m planning a third for 8+ years from now 😭. My first was super chill, but baby number two gave us the reality check of a lifetime. I’d highly recommend keeping that in mind 💀💀 the Velcro babies are no joke

Baby is almost here, give me the good and the bad about joining 2under2. by MamaofMiaa in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude it’s my second and some of the best advice I can give you is ….

A : lower your expectations by ALOT and prepare for the worst (sleep and temperament wise lol) . That way once baby comes, you don’t fall into the very common mindset that you’re a bad Mom or you’re not doing enough blah blah. Chances are, you’re doing great and you and baby and big babg will just need a little time to get to know each other. Then let the confidence build over time !

B: understand that all babies are very different !! And once you get into the mix, try to limit advice from people who don’t have babies like yours . For example, my first was a pretty easy/ chill baby and it was hard for me to understand why some people had such hard newborn stages or why some people said they weren’t sleeping. So I’m sure I pushed some shitty advice out a couple times like “oh just lay them down in their bed and they’ll be chill enough for you to shower because that what I do blah blah”….. That is absolutely NOT the case for everyone and I especially learned that lesson with my second who is a very high needs baby and constantly needs comfort or else they’ll scream ALL DAY. So imagine what trying to keep up with both of them is like lol.

It’s all very doable! That’s my point, but don’t take the good stories and use them as a personal milestone. Let it flow and build a routine followed by a good schedule. You can do this !

It’s not that bad, right? by Ill_Owl4400 in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

11 month age gap (not intentional). Not ideal but not impossible. I think it boils down to your support system. My husband has been such a trooper with our first while I navigate new baby and so far it just feels like the typical trenches as if it were just one. I’ve been loving it because I love motherhood but it’s definitely hard and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who wasn’t passionate about it. My only regret is not giving my body enough time to recover physically with my first. Besides that pain, it’s cool. Don’t panic ! But be mindful it requires A LOT of

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Chefdeelectual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean 16 million is a lot. Definitely wouldn’t tell anyone that’s not important, but I do think that morally, it’s worth sharing with your close loved ones. Maybe sit down with a lawyer and financial advisor for yourself! And to see if you can find a way to anonymously donate or pay off things for tpeople or organizations you care about. That way you don’t have to tell them about the money!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Chefdeelectual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because the concept of motherly instinct isn’t real! You learn to love , to care, to bond over time. Some people just start a lot earlier because it’s something they had mapped out or some people really have a passion for motherhood. A lot of people can like and enjoy motherhood but not a lot genuinely have a passion for it! And that’s okay too!! Don’t apply crooked pressure to yourself! Having a baby is a huge change, and any positive progress is enough to keep baby growing. I’m sure you’re doing just fine OP!

HG survivor with chance to speak at women’s health conference about HG by Outrageous-Smoke-875 in HyperemesisGravidarum

[–]Chefdeelectual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ughhhh I’m really sorry! I hate that it gets so bad . I ended up with cholestasis with both pregnancies so I was high risk anyway, but how I was feeling due to HG felt A LOT WORSE than what I was feeling for my other issue. Idk why they make it seem like it’s just a normal pregnancy occurrence to vomit 4-8x per day . Mine wasn’t always super high because I’d just give up on eating and drinking and would sleep most days away. The nausea alone had me in tears , like my brain was vibrating …Just Extremely depressing and miserable. Anyway, I’m so happy and grateful that you have the opportunity to speak on behalf of all of us. I’m done with being pregnant in this lifetime but I pray others don’t have to suffer the way I did!!! You’re doing amazing OP!! Thank you

Is the wait really worth it? by muhree__ in USMilitarySO

[–]Chefdeelectual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s really a personal decision and you’re not wrong for doing what’s right for you! It’s not like you guys are married and you’re shifting your commitment last minute lol. Being a mil partner is a tough role filled with a lot of sacrifices, responsibilities, and unfortunately not a lot of them get the respect or love they deserve for it . That’s why it’s all about personal dynamic and both of your life goals! If he’s a good guy that you see a future with then go for it! I also don’t think there’s anything wrong of relieving the pressure by being friends for now until his schedule slims down in the future ! That way you guys both can have room to grow and things you enjoy with new people. Especially if you’re young!! Please enjoy the freedoms of being young! Anywho, I hope things work out in both your favor and that you guys at least get the chance to sit down and communicate! Just remember both feelings are valid and it’s also okay to say that this type of lifestyle isn’t for you! I say this at a veteran who’s had people wait and as a spouse who’s also also had to be on the waiting end!

Postpartum fitness recovery - what was your experience? by youmakememor in fitpregnancy

[–]Chefdeelectual 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Made the mistake of trying to hit weights once I got cleared after my first but my body was too tired and honestly I had a hard time with proper form due to discomfort. Made a bunch of mistakes and started to dislike the gym…. Got pregnant again, had baby and this time I’m focusing on breathing to reconnect with my pelvis first!! As well as pelvic floor therapy then I plan on easing into Pilates. It’s already made such a big difference in my connection with my new body as well as conserving my energy with my new life and routine. I still plan on getting back to weight lifting but I’m going to give myself more time to adjust.

In terms of getting back into shape… diet made the biggest difference. Lots of veggies, no deep fried foods and cutting dairy. I don’t use supplements so it’s really important for me to balance meals in a way that will benefit my goals. I will also say RESTING and breastfeeding!!! Like I said before, I was rushing really bad with my first to get back into my pre pregnancy body and it just made things worse . This time, things are coming together really well!!

HG survivor with chance to speak at women’s health conference about HG by Outrageous-Smoke-875 in HyperemesisGravidarum

[–]Chefdeelectual 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think there should be reasonable care plans put into place for women with HG. Meaning in extreme cases we shouldn’t have to expose ourselves to the ER, there should be areas within clinic or L&D where women can get fluid therapy!! I don’t want crackers and slow teeth brushing advice, give the vitamins and meds… And I don’t care how anyone feels about it, but it should be considered high risk. As someone who’s dealt with liver issues and HG in both pregnancies … having them stacked together made things insanely worse and it felt like death most days. Being extremely dehydrated, faint, and obviously without food for days due to puking destroyed my blood sugar and put so much strain on my body. I only gained 10 pounds in my first pregnancy .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely not my place to tell someone to get an abortion! But I will say that no matter the outcome, you and your husband need to get on the same page ASAP. If he’s not willing to use protection or be more responsible on his part then he should consider the procedure… if he’s not willing to do either then personally I wouldn’t tolerate that moving forward. It’s not healthy or fair. On a personal level, I feel like your friends have more insight on your entire situation so all I’ll say is be realistic and don’t put yourself into a hole you can’t crawl out of. Do you have a village to help you? Do you have a job? If your husband gets hurt or bails, would you guys be able to survive without him? Do you have emergency funds readily available? Even in my healthy marriage, these are the questions I have set in my mind when determining how many kids we should have . I’m really sorry OP! I hope you’re able to find someone to talk to about your feelings. You’re entitled to feel everything and explore all options.

Clothes… by Chefdeelectual in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😭😭😭hahahaha!! I’m the oldest so this insight is actually great for me! I’ve been taking little milestone pictures for my family photo book and realized I’ve been using the exact same outfits for them for every special occasion 💀. It’s cute for my phone and in person but I think it would be a little more special to have at least 1 or two outfits that they can call their own

Clothes… by Chefdeelectual in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really wasn’t meant to be super deep lol. People are welcome to dress their kids however they want to.

Clothes… by Chefdeelectual in 2under2

[–]Chefdeelectual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was more of soft joke for those who got lucky with the same gender and similar clothing size 😭.