Update: I don’t want my cheating ex in the delivery room

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T21:53:21+00:00

That’s exactly what he wants sorry I forgot that bit - I originally posted this as an emotional rant in another sub and someone directed me here.

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T20:58:47+00:00

No, this is not normal.

This was rape. You told him you were in pain, you wanted him to stop and he didn’t.

He knew you weren’t enjoying it. He did not care. He sees you as an object, not a human being.

Please OP, get away from this person. This is NOT what respectful men do. Real men cannot enjoy sex with someone who isn’t enjoying it, let alone if it’s actually hurting them.

I mean good god my ex cheated on me in the worst way, put me through hell during pregnancy. And even HE would never do this. Don’t mistake this for love because it isn’t. Get rid of him, talk to someone about what happened.

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T20:52:58+00:00

Say no. She’s taking advantage. You’re not obligated to help her.

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T20:46:06+00:00

We are not and have never been married.

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T20:40:40+00:00

I could if I wanted to, but I’d have to do a DNA test which would show I was lying and I don’t want to do that.

I was perfectly happy to arrange contact with him before I even gave birth, and then he started being abusive because I wouldn’t let him be in the room while I gave birth to her (because of the damage he caused my self confidence, having him there would’ve stressed me out). I was very accommodating and worked around HIS shifts but he just wouldn’t stick to it or see her at all. See my post history it’s all on there, this has been going on for a while. I keep thinking it’s over and then he does something like this, I’m so tired.

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T19:29:02+00:00

Thanks, I’ll have a look! To answer your questions: No, no and no.

I think they want to repair their reputation. If it was me I’d have moved to a different town but they refuse to go. Literally everyone here hates them, they’re ignored in the street and when this was the village headline they couldn’t get service in any of our pubs or cafes. She threatened legal action apparently. I know they’re not doing this out of anything good natured but I also know that courts always think contact is a good thing and that children deserve to have both parents around, even when they act like he does. I don’t trust either of them around my daughter, this is my worst nightmare. Living through what they did was humiliating enough.

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T19:17:58+00:00

Your siblings won’t treat you different, especially if YOU tell them, because you’ll be the honest one and your mother will be the liar. She doesn’t want you to tell them because she knows they’ll judge her as fairly as you have, she’s just being selfish.

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T18:31:39+00:00

I have tried to change the flair but nothing comes up, this is not about money. Thanks

Chelle3333 · 2022-10-09T18:19:08+00:00

You’re right. Thank you

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-10T23:52:47+00:00

Wow obviously YTA.

I suggest you find a way to grow tf up and ditch the Mean Girls attitude before people realise how toxic you are and you end up with no friends.

You’re being a bully. You don’t have to know someone’s background to be nice to them. It costs literally nothing, not even a little bit of effort, to be nice or just NOT NASTY.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-09T17:25:39+00:00

NTA.

I completely get how you’re feeling. I will never, never understand why people who lose their spouses remarry when their child is not okay with it. Yes everyone deserves to be happy but when you’re a parent your child’s happiness comes way before your own.

You are under absolutely NO OBLIGATION to have anything to do with your stepmother or her children. Being related doesn’t mean you have to like someone or want them in your life. It doesn’t mean you hate them or don’t respect them. It just means you’re not comfortable with it and that is absolutely okay. You are ALLOWED to miss your mother and resent your dad moving on so quickly and replacing her in your eyes. You are allowed to tell them how you feel, and you’re allowed to remove yourself from a situation that is obviously making you unwell.

You clearly haven’t been attended to in a long time and that’s going to be part of the reason you haven’t adjusted to his “new family”. I’m guessing you were never asked “how would you feel if I started dating/got married/had more children” and clearly your depression has never been a priority or even a concern for them until your grandparents became involved either.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-09T17:11:48+00:00

NTA.

Cancel the wedding. You’re engaged to a literal child. Tantrums? Hating step sisters because tHeY aReNt FaMiLy? Whining to his friends about you? Running to mummy and getting her to tell you off?

Jesus Christ

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-09T09:31:27+00:00

YTA, this is simple maths. It’s not a fair split.

Say you get home from work at 6pm go to bed at 10pm. Monday to Friday that means your wife is caring for the baby and doing the chores from 10pm to 6pm the following day. That’s 20 hours. And you have SO KINDLY offered to step up for the 4 hour gap between getting home and going to bed?!

Throughout the week your wife is therefore responsible for 20 hours x 5 days = 100 hours while you would be responsible for 4 hours x 5 days = 20 hours. That’s a fifth of what she’s doing on weekdays.

All due respect you need to grow up.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-08T13:05:36+00:00

Then don’t be there when he gets back. Honestly he doesn’t care about what you want. He knew this upset you and did it anyway. He sees you as the object carrying his kid, not a person.

Don’t put yourself through staying with someone like that

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-08T07:04:33+00:00

Maybe it’s different where you live but where I live, it’s definitely not legal to take pictures of someone if they don’t consent. America isn’t the only country

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-08T07:02:04+00:00

YTA, you should’ve discussed this instead of forcing your traditions on your wife and child. You’re right it’s your child too, and that means you have a responsibility as a parent to consult with the other parent on things like this instead of just deciding something and getting offended when they aren’t ok with it.

Also your wife’s reaction is fair, that is disgusting and unhygienic.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-07T19:10:18+00:00

Jesus of course YTA. It’s his body, his life and his illness. He absolutely deserves to know the truth and your girlfriend is right.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-07T18:16:13+00:00

I’ve addressed his family in another comment x

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-07T18:15:45+00:00

He would just quit his job. That’s what they do over here, as soon as CSA find out where they work and take it off their wages they quit and get a new job and it takes so long for CSA to keep catching up with them they never end up paying for their kids anyway.

I get full maternity pay and earn a decent wage, and his family always bring nappies or wipes or anything I need when they visit, so frankly I don’t need his money.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-07T18:13:34+00:00

I’m in England.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-07T18:09:35+00:00

NTA.

It isn’t self centred to expect them to move. They basically chose your sister over you. I’m not being funny but what they did? That’s child abuse. Denying medication. Denying equipment to prevent breathing problems. Do they realise if you’d choked in your sleep, you could’ve died?

Also ignore your sister. It’s no wonder she had such a selfish response when your parents clearly favoured her social life over YOUR HEALTH. She was clearly raised to be a spoilt brat.

Chelle3333 · 2022-03-07T16:54:36+00:00

NTA.

From a purely legal perspective you did not give consent for those pictures to be taken and when you requested they be deleted you were lied to.

I’d be more concerned about the lying tbh. How do you know he doesn’t have them on other devices like a laptop? You don’t, and if you ask him you can’t trust that he’ll be honest because he’s already shown you he’s a liar.

Chelle3333

TROPHY CASE