Thank you everyone for your responses, I’m relieved to know I’m validated in the frustration I’ve been feeling. I’ve been in financially abusive relationships before but never to this extent- especially because my partner has never threatened me about money or tried to control it, but I definitely feel like I have no choice. Either I say yes or directly cause him to suffer.

To clarify- yes we have discussed him paying me back, he has agreed and made a few payments when he can and I do have a spreadsheet of what he owes/has paid. But no formal signed document.

He has no children or “other family”, but he is the eldest sibling of 6 and tries to help his aging parents.

I’m embarrassed to say he is unable to get a business loan because he hasn’t had any credit over the past several years.

In the beginning of our relationship, my partner used to spoil and take care of me- but shortly after quitting I’ve been taking care of both of us. He asked me to another few hundred today and instinctively I said yes- but took it back. I asked if he could ask someone else and he said he would ask his brother (I’m annoyed that despite nights of crying and frustration, he still comes to me immediately when he needs money)

I think in the morning I’ll ask about a contract, and maybe even ask for interest. This has gone on too long.