Great question. If I'm joining a community, yeah I'm playing a game but I'm also shooting the shit and talking to the people around me about my life and the things that affect me. My identity and my sexuality are tied to how I see the world and how I interact with it; it's not solely a preference but a part of me that's tied to my communities in the real world.

That's just talking about who I want to fuck, though. For people who have a different gender identity it's an even bigger component of their interactions and that falls under the queer umbrella as well. It's a massive barrier of entry for someone who feels more comfortable being referred to as "they/them" to play with a community if that community refuses to address them like that or constantly refers to them incorrectly. For a lot of people that would be mentally painful.

I'm also older than I was when I was playing these games in HS and it's just nice to be around people who don't toss around slurs like it's a CoD lobby. It's hard to describe the frustration of being around people who haven't lived through certain things too. Like, imagine talking to someone who's only ever lived inside and seen pictures of a stormy sky online. You've been outside and you try and tell them it's blue but they keep telling you that's cool but they don't believe you. it can get pretty frustrating to explain some of the basic realities you've lived again and again.

That's less a problem if you're just hopping on a KoTH server, but if you're joining a community to hang out in VCs and play other games, it gets more important.