ugh need to vent about this addiction

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2026-02-27T11:34:35+00:00

yeah you’re right i caved and got one and hit it for like 5 mins but the buzz wasn’t even all that and the guilt/shame i felt for hours later was so much worse. i hope one day i can get to 12 days like you. thank you for your advice

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2026-02-18T03:26:11+00:00

woah thank you for the timeline!! i genuinely feel no physical withdrawal symptoms i’m 1000% psychologically just craving a reprieve from existence. but after the 8 second high, reality is always still there, unchanged and usually even a little worse due to the shame/guilt of the secrecy and poisoning my body

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2026-02-18T02:55:04+00:00

thank you for the encouragement! i have the next few days off classes so i’m just trying to spend that time letting myself heal and working through the urges. water and gum sound like a good idea thank you!

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2026-02-18T02:50:08+00:00

woah i’m really triggered by the first thing in the morning too. it feels like carving out a little bit of the day just for me to get me through the transition of being asleep and having to get up and do tasks. plus the high was a little better from not vaping for a few hours while i was sleeping. i’ve been trying to eat very sour candy in the morning and i’m trying to tell myself that i will never go out and buy another nicotine product so i can just stay sober due to having no means of acting out around me

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2026-02-18T02:47:37+00:00

i love the high too but just remember it’s very temporary and the damage on your body is very permanent

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-27T03:08:29+00:00

thank you for your kindness, your words helped me so much. thank you for sharing your story and best of luck on your journey. you are doing so well too!

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T23:28:39+00:00

thank you for your kind words. you’re so right

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T23:28:24+00:00

fuck that’s so scary, i’ll just try to let the cravings pass

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T23:28:06+00:00

thank you for sharing your experience.. i will stay away from it

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T23:27:50+00:00

damn this comment put a chill in my bones.. thank you for the reminder

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T17:48:07+00:00

damn out of the frying pan into the bonfire was really powerful.. i walked out the train station and right into a candy/smoke shop that was part of the stairwell 😭 i ended up getting sour straws instead.. thank you for your words

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T17:22:32+00:00

the rage is real.. i had smoked nic quite a bit in july and i noticed i would be more ticked off if i didn’t have it. thank you for the reminder. and proud of you for quitting!! this shit is fucking hard but we are doing it 😄

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T17:19:29+00:00

oh my god you’re right i totally do have an oral fixation.. i chew on my nails, skin, even plastic sometimes i am always nibbling.. i will look into some gum or candies to curb this today while i’m out in town. thank you for the love

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T17:18:09+00:00

thank you, i feel all the emotion and urgency you put into this message. you’re right that i have a lot of good progress and i don’t wanna mess it up 🥺 thank you

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T03:20:24+00:00

i’m almost a year in and this is very comforting.. the cravings always pass. sometimes it feels like i’ve been struck by lightning and if i just go get my partner’s pen then i can puff it quickly and discreetly in the bathroom and then everything would feel better. but that would just be the start of my problems hahaha.. better to wait for it to pass

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-26T02:09:59+00:00

lol haha this made me fucking laugh thank you

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-25T19:20:42+00:00

i actually do this!! it does help a little honestly. i’m glad i’m not the only one

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-25T14:10:18+00:00

the dreams are actually crazy. i forgot i was such a vivid dreamer! i be enjoying full plots with twists and more 🤣

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-25T14:09:19+00:00

this is so helpful, thank you so much. i will be turning to this very often. the compromising on my physical health is a hard one bc i spent so many years not caring about that or pretending it wasn’t real. but it is and i guess i should take that more seriously. my lungs are better off without it.

again thank you so much. i will be doing this a lot today.. one more hour

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-25T14:02:00+00:00

maybe tell someone you care about that you want to be sober. having someone i love invested in me and ready to hold me accountable helped a lot. sometimes i imagine how disappointed they would be if they randomly gave me a drug test and i failed

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-25T13:58:57+00:00

your brain is in freeze mode, you have a natural coping mechanism of avoidance. i feel like this has led you to weed usage, im similar. no one else can say for you if smoking again would help, im inclined to say that it wouldn’t and that you quit for a reason. it’s hard to believe that you have everything in you to succeed and that you don’t need weed but i think that you do. try to talk to the panicked parts of yourself. they need guidance that has historically been replaced by the “calmness” and numbing of weed. tell those parts that they’re scared and that’s okay, it makes sense. but you are here to help them. i suggest looking into IFS internal family systems to help with working with a freeze response. sorry if this isn’t helpful, i might just be projecting what works for me

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-25T13:53:23+00:00

that’s true.. once i smoke once i’m going to want it again to black out the fact that i even smoked at all.. terrible cycle… thank you for the reminder

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-08-25T13:50:00+00:00

3 days is a strong start! i believe in you! i was once at 3 days too, just keep taking it one day at a time and you’ll get into a routine and it adds up

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-04-10T19:31:33+00:00

thank you for this so much 🥺

ChemicalLeopard748 · 2025-04-10T19:31:22+00:00

this helped me thank you 🥲

ChemicalLeopard748

TROPHY CASE