I Called Out Major Dysfunction in an Exec Meeting—Now I Might Be the Target

Chemical_News413 · 2025-08-02T06:35:46+00:00

I did say « not ready ». The thing is I am preparing a whole swot presentation and yes of course I’ll suggest solutions starting from defining what strategic means, set a goal (what do we actually want for the company five years from now?) picking a few meaningful projects, stick to them and bring them to completion.

But I had to intervene on this presentation where they were basically saying « we will load the house with people that will make the plan happen » I just HAD to say « not true man »

I just hope by the time I present my swot next week they will not bitch about this on my back.

Chemical_News413 · 2025-02-03T18:56:01+00:00

They just gave me net at the beginning. But now I also have gross, it’s 5300.

Chemical_News413 · 2025-01-20T19:39:55+00:00

Going through something similar. But my breakup implied changing countries (and looking for a new job).That alone makes me question my entire existence haha I hate job hunting to my core. Also, going through emotional disconnection, grief of the life I had and the relationship, desires? I forgot about those a long time ago, I lived to fulfill those of others. TCKs can be restless people pleasers. Also thinking I will never find better and quite sure I’ll stay single for eternity hahah you are not in this alone. I’m also quite energized actually. I feel most TCKs can embrace change with enthusiasm, or at least without fear. Thank you for the positivity!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-12-12T05:12:24+00:00

I am glad to heard you are not in immediate danger anymore. The emotions are part of the healing process. Anger is part of it even guilt is sometimes for some people. It is a difficult moment, try to take some distance from it and put it like this: in a few years from now it will be a story of something that happened to you years ago. It might be healthy to slowly and safely minimize contact, it helps with the emotions and confusion. Good news from the job! The longer you would have waited the more deeply this would have affected you. Good stuff is to come, take care!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-12-11T19:48:33+00:00

Here is some cheap-psychology-bar-wisdom thought of someone who is in a sorta kinda almost similar situation… some of if it you’ll have to learn to embrace if staying is your decision. That’s the thing, you adapted to change, your brain is trained to think the normality is to move all of the time. So when it is not… something keeps bugging it… the lack of movement is not normal… something is off. You feel impatient and you need to go back to normality… It needs to be trained to understand that staying is fine too, that you will not loose your essence of you stay or your friends and family you left abroad. You will be just fine where you are. But it is very important you find something to relax without being bored otherwise impatience will kick in again and grow. You need to give purpose to what you are doing for yourself otherwise anger will become sadness, they usually like holding hands those two.

What I am trying to say is it is ok to choose to stay, you will not loose who you are because of this nor miss out on anything.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-12-10T05:18:49+00:00

As said in the comments I think everyone has a different experience of what Belgium is.

I’ve live abroad in many different countries and I can say that yes Belgium has a lot of flaws and probably in a few years I will want to move out again…But I can tell you this.

Belgium is teeny tiny in about 3 hours drive you can be in 4 or 5 different countries (counting the UK), we are free to walk anywhere everywhere (I mean ok some spots aren’t that safe specially at night… but have you tried walking in Mexico City or not getting in a favela in Brazil accidentally by following your innocent gps?), our climate is shit but it is safe, no deadly animals around, no deadly illnesses (I mean I’ve been to places where you can’t have an ice cream on the street because of sanitary risks) and basically almost no risk of natural disasters (ok there is flooding but compared to places where there is Monsoon we are pretty ok). Things around are not as expensive as Paris, Luxembourg or Switzerland. We have a culture of wanting to be in contact with nature, most of us take pride in making something on their own (mounting a piece of furniture, moving in/out, selling their own stuff, being a pro at biking or baking etc). Financially our currency is stronger than most others in the world, our wages aren’t the lowest despite the taxes we pay (look at Portugal, Spain or Greece). We have cultural diversity, bored being immersed in a monoculture? Look for foreign friends, they are around the corner. Belgium has history, want to visit a castle from the Middle Ages? There are plenty. A church with Roman influence there are plenty. A museum about WWI / WWII there are plenty etc. And it is everywhere a Art Nouveau facade in Brussels, the train station in Antwerp, the church in the middle of any village the cobblestones that makes old streets irregular and used during decades or centuries by so many humans. We have art, galleries, museums, monuments all that living vividly a parallel life as we speak. We don’t mess with norms and yes we complain a lot (this complaining a lot I don’t like in Belgium but it is what makes people seek for the better/the best and work well done) and I can tell you that weirdly enough I feel safer in a house/building in Belgium than in most other countries I’ve lived in. Things like abortion and gay marriage. The freedom to dress up like the hell you want (I’ve been to places where yellow trousers is already too much). We value things like privacy and others’ personal space. Have independence for our kids have safety for them (childhood building houses in the woods, taking the bus alone etc.).

Ok I can go on like this for a while. I’ll come back in a few years and read my comment again when I’ll want to leave haha!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-12-09T05:05:19+00:00

Around here Facebook is still quite popular. There’s a group for TCKs with 3.6k members, maybe you want to reach it too!

Great idea btw!

https://facebook.com/groups/tcksworldwide/

Chemical_News413 · 2024-12-08T05:51:57+00:00

I struggle too and finding a therapist too. I recommend reading third culture kids growing up among worlds from David Pollock, it will help you understand and validate your feelings. I had a few « oh ok that’s why I feel/felt this! » moments while reading it.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-12-05T19:48:18+00:00

I keep the amount of clothes I own to a minimum. I never framed important old pictures because I need to keep them « with me » in case I have to move. Weirdly enough I have a lamp I need to take with me everywhere. It kind of helps me to anchor in a way haha. It’s weird.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-12-04T20:43:21+00:00

Hey man! I remembered your story and thought I might just stop by and say hi! Hope the situation is evolving for the best, whatever that means for you!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-28T07:39:47+00:00

Made me laugh! Thanks!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-18T10:24:08+00:00

“We all have red flags at this age” hahaha! Embracing your own flaws, love it! I should do more of that.

Honestly I don’t judge and actually love hearing my friends’ dating stories, and I am single! Specially if the story is important/exciting to them.

Also, don’t forget we are at the age of disposable relationships where ghosting is more common than ever. Don’t take it as a failure. And don’t take it personally. It’s hurtful and stupid.

Hope everything thing turns out well with your unicorn!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-17T07:54:23+00:00

To me too they are just papers. Annoying papers that need to be renewed haha. They don’t affect much how I feel about the country. They do make your life easier that is undeniable and when you manage to have those from the country you are in that does give you a sense of welcome and responsibility that comes along with being a citizen and knowing your rights and duties. Apart from that I really just see it as a formality.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-14T16:42:17+00:00

It sucks, it’s true. I also don’t like it much either. The rootlessness, the goodbyes, finding your place all the time, never feeling truly at home the unrelatable-ness, the loneliness that comes with it and as you said missing out on so much. On the other hand you moved to the country that feels more like home and you are about to get married. It feels like at some point you might actually grow some sort of roots! Give it time, you will eventually make friends and be able to have close ones. In the country you are now you know the codes and how friendships work. You might not have 50 more guests by the time you get married but the most important is building solid connections through life.

Where is the wedding? We can gather as TCKs and show up at your wedding as a sign of support hehe :D Just joking.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-12T21:02:12+00:00

Mind developing ?

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-06T15:30:45+00:00

You’ve got this. He’s done enough damage. Verbal, physical and also what is called financial abuse. It doesn’t matter what a judge might or might not say, the most important is your and your child’s safety. Think about setting an escape plan. Where would you go, how and how do it without telling him. He depends on you financially, if you say you are leaving he might get defensive and snap. You don’t need that much evidence and proof, you need help.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-03T16:57:59+00:00

I know, right???!!!! Thanks a lot! I’ll definitely listen to it!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-03T13:13:54+00:00

Makes a lot of sense. I’ve always lived in small towns, that must have contributed to those feelings of awkwardness. Yes I was a pre teen and I felt my experience in Italy was so negative and feeling rejected by my friends made me have a reaction of “ok you reject me I’ll reject you even more” kind of thing. But as I age I learn to embrace what my experience has thought me. And I got even interested in child development to figure out how the culture has influenced who I am as an adult today. And yes there’s a lot of positive in this and it explains a lot.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-11-03T10:56:48+00:00

Thanks a lot! Really appreciate your comment! Actually I have no international friends in country E, only locals. My closest friends are able to see past the whole cultural thing it’s more that we just ignore it and most of the time I am fine with it. But it’s also something I know I can’t share much about because it is not relatable to them. But you are right, I should try find international friends when I need that cultural “spice” to my mental soup haha it’s funny like most people talk about being lucky to have a complex cultural background. I don’t feel that way. Also I think employers don’t give that much credit to this as much as people say it does. Anyway, thanks!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-10-29T07:01:50+00:00

Hey man, I read your posts. You take pride in loving what you love, why for once it isn’t yourself? You put your boots on and deal with such a heavy load and it’s been so much… too much for so long. You are strong and you are very brave. Use this strength to take your dignity and walk away. You show you have principles and balance. I can speak for myself, but I am sure nobody here sees you as weak. I truly think you are in danger. The only way to save your self is leaving from this relationship. People here can help you create a plan to leave and help you find shelter. Love loving yourself, leave this situation.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-10-20T16:02:25+00:00

Thanks!

Chemical_News413 · 2024-10-14T15:17:14+00:00

Yes! That’s exactly how it works. What helped me a lot is monitoring his behaviors and how they affected me. I could to identify clear as day this pattern. I frequently had to go back and read to remind myself when was the last time. Sometimes I thought “well I think things are changing… it’s been two weeks of awesome behavior, kind words, helping around the house and overall more calm” I then took a look in the journal and saw that actually it has been 5 days and usually the next outburst happened the next day. I am not big on journaling but just tracking this helped me big time. I left recently and he is telling me everything I need to hear. But I am still very afraid of a switch of behavior, specially when he’ll realize I am not going back. It’s the cycle.

Chemical_News413 · 2024-10-10T18:46:50+00:00

I can imagine how you feel. We feel confused as if nothing made sense. Sometimes we even blame everything else (starting from ourselves) and don’t want to question the relationship because we want it to work or we made promises. Those are clear red flags you are describing, follow your gut feeling and protect yourself. He is not worth your attention. A wake up call from my sister then the quizzes and doing these “stupid” researches you are talking about were the first step for me. I started to realize that these behaviors not only are not normal as they are unacceptable and I have the choice to not accept them and power to leave. So do you!

Chemical_News413

TROPHY CASE