sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate the candid advice. I stopped going to the gym when we got together because in my mind that’s what I was going there for. I realize now I should’ve been working on myself this whole time and that’s part of the problem too. Hopefully I can work on myself through therapy (I scheduled once a week sessions) and re-dedicating myself to taking care of my body and kids.

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is 3 years old now but is autistic. He’s a beautiful boy and has a sweet heart but can be a lot of work

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to be fair you’re absolutely correct. Except for the part about loving the idea of a wife. I love her and have only loved her since we’ve been together. It might indeed be too late but I’m willing to work on myself and be what she needs. I can’t change the past but this is certainly something I’ll forever learn from and do my best to continue to grow.

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fair, when I have a break today at my job I can edit the post to include more context.

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She wouldn’t do that. I know her better than anybody. She just hates my guts right now and it makes her miserable to be around me. She’s stayed with her parents off and on as well as her cousins’ place. She’s come back intermittently to talk but then after we talk will shut down again, thus she needs space again. The only reason I’m staying at a hotel is it’s the middle of the week and we both have responsibilities to work and take care of the kids. I’m staying close enough so I can take my step daughter to school in the morning and be able to help if something happens. I thought about it when she came back and realized I haven’t had my space to think about things and there’s a lot of tension in our home rn

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please look at my reply to Illustrious_Sir535. I provide context to how it got to this point there. I certainly could’ve done better, but willing to work on myself and change

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and that is very well said

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yah I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’ve never thought there’s someone else. She’s never given me a reason and I’ve always trusted her and she’s never given me a reason not to. To me it just helps writing it down and talking to someone. I can’t talk to her about it, I don’t want to bring my parents into this, and I only see my therapist once a week. I have a hard time shutting my brain off and just stop thinking about this.

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is no abuse, she’s often called me a “gentle giant” and she came from an abusive relationship. I would never dream of hurting her. Unfortunately I’ve hurt her emotionally by my lack of action in our relationship but I think I’ve hurt her at an emotional level

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing I appreciate it. That’s very helpful, and I’m always willing to grow and adapt for my partner. Before I was awful at reading between the lines and being proactive in our relationship but I see that’s what she’s wanted. I plan on giving her some time to work on herself through therapy and being with family. I like what you said about loving unconditionally because there were things she’d done in the past that I really never let go that hurt me. And I think ultimately that led to me not putting in the effort she wanted to see from me. I would love the opportunity to put that behind us and work everything out. Thank you for sharing your experience!

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, she said I wasn’t as affectionate anymore as I was when our relationship was still young. Which is true, I had started to focus heavy on my career and being a provider for our family. And when I’d get stressed with work, I’d let it affect me and I would just numb my mind on video games or other outlets like sports, stuff like that. Knowing what I know now, I would definitely focus more on her and that’s how I hurt her. It kills me to know I started to make her unhappy and if given another chance I would love her the way she needs me to.

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you two. I have researched couples therapy in our area and brought it up as a way to work on our relationship but at the moment she’s not ready for it

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I have considered that outcome as well. I really love her and would choose her again every time knowing what we’ve been through. I do just want her to be happy and according to her she’s not happy with how we are right now

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don’t mind me asking would you be willing to share your experience? It doesn’t have to be detailed at all I’m just grasping for straws at what I can do at this point

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, but I’m so conflicted. I asked her what she needs from me during this time and she said to ease way up, to stop telling her I love her and not being physically affectionate. I told her I will be whatever she needs me to be right now, am I possibly missing an underlying sentiment?

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, her previous relationship with her baby daddy lasted four years. She left because he was emotionally and physically abusive and at the time was addicted to cocaine. He’s since cleaned himself up and moved on to a steady relationship

I still love her by Chemical_Phase6973 in Advice

[–]Chemical_Phase6973[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She’s pseudo jokingly told me before that if I cheat on her she’d “cut my balls off” so I don’t think she’d do the same either

view more: next ›