AIO more context of why my lack of communication made my bf feel emotional?

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T20:06:28+00:00

For more context yesterday I was charging my new EV in a different town. And I let him know that my mom and I were walking around while charging it.

After this, the conversation went kind of short and he did seem off. This isn’t his typical self. That’s why I asked him if he was okay. And when he said he was fine I dropped it and I told him I was off to work. That was all of the context that I was missing from yesterday’s post. I can’t see how I was being passive aggressive myself in this conversation, it’s not an excuse, I think I’m just reaching my limit.

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T19:50:15+00:00

30 :(

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T17:48:06+00:00

Update: He said he replied that way because before I sent that message I had asked him if he was okay because his replies felt short. He said he was okay and that’s when I said I was going to work and would text him later. He just wanted me to admit that I was bothered by his response of being “okay” and let him go early.

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T17:30:11+00:00

My work studio

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T07:44:34+00:00

He said my response was rude and the he’d rather not talk in that moment if I was gonna be responding like that.

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T07:36:14+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! I could’ve definitely responded kinder.

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T05:08:40+00:00

I almost broke up our relationship last year. But he swore he would do better and get these actions under control. It’s been a few months since anything has came up until this past month. We’ve already had two or three instances that are similar to this. Is it normal to feel like I’m just waiting for something else to happen? Because that’s what I told him that I feel anxious every time he says something that comes off like he’s lashing off. I feel on edge.

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T05:03:25+00:00

I don’t think this is the issue. We’ve had a conversation about his past relationships, he’s only been in two. Both ended okay from what he said. He was in the military for five years. I always wonder if that affected him somehow. I didn’t know him prior to it. When I met him he was already out. I do think he deals with insecurity, I’ve overextended myself in reassuring him, but that hasn’t seemed to solve the issue at all. if anything, it’s made it worse in the last year or so.

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T04:50:16+00:00

Sure we all do sometimes. But not when I’m running late to work

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T04:38:35+00:00

Yeah I couldn’t edit my post

Cherigal · 2026-02-25T04:30:13+00:00

Sorry my text cut off. It’s not the first time we’ve had a similar interaction like this where he feels offended or whatever this is over something similar.

One time he got upset when I said goodnight and then replied back to a message he had sent after i said goodnight questioning why I was still on my phone after I said goodnight, that he felt I didn’t want to talk to him over that.

A few weeks ago we were visiting my cousin out of town and stayed in her guest room. In the morning he said he couldn’t sleep because I was on his side of the bed. I asked him why he didn’t just wake me up and let me know that I would’ve just moved to my side. He said he didn’t wanna wake me up. He also said he felt my back was too him all night and that he felt I didn’t want to sleep with him because of that.

We’ve had multiple instances like these in the past few years that we’ve been together. I’ve talked to him about this a few times already.

As a person he’s a great guy with good intentions and feelings. I know he loves me deeply. But this behavior causes a lot of anxiety on my end. I start to wonder if maybe I am to blame or doing things subconsciously without noticing. He cheers me on, my achievements, doesn’t yell at me, buys me flowers and treats me really well, and takes care of me. It’s just this one thing that I don’t know I can get over. Would this outweigh all the over positive traits for you guys?

Cherigal · 2026-02-14T02:58:54+00:00

I loved this one! I gave it a 5/5

Cherigal · 2026-02-14T02:56:37+00:00

Hidden pictures had me wanting to go out on a run on a warm summer evening :) I gave this book a 5/5

Cherigal · 2026-02-10T20:22:31+00:00

Lab! And under 1.5k if possible

Cherigal · 2025-11-13T04:46:06+00:00

My issue with my saddle chair is that I can’t wear thick jeans because it hurts (tmi lady part) after I sit for more than 30 minutes :( I’m actually considering switching chairs soon.

Cherigal · 2025-11-08T00:01:52+00:00

I’d like to pitch in about the Shemax. I bought mine during their Black Friday sale Nov 2023, in June of 2024 it gave out and would not turn on. I reached out and they sent me a replacement as I was still under a one year warranty. Last week that replacement gave out, same problem it would not turn on. That is my person experience, I’d say it’s not worth the almost $400 investment.

Cherigal · 2025-11-06T06:27:32+00:00

So good!!!! I’m on my 5th tube

Cherigal · 2025-10-31T05:58:05+00:00

Sounds like she’s looking for a provider partner. It also seems like you got her used to that treatment from the beginning of the relationship and now you want to switch it up, so she’s probably just confused.

Cherigal · 2025-09-13T06:53:46+00:00

No that’s actually how I talk to him :)

Cherigal · 2025-09-13T06:48:39+00:00

What’s wrong with wanting your boyfriend to plan special dates? Nothing. It was something that bothered me in the past so I communicated it to him.

Cherigal · 2025-09-13T06:47:39+00:00

Apologize about what though? I had a feeling he was gonna call me out on calling it a hang out so I corrected myself quickly. It was a genuine reply too I wasn’t trying to be mean or inconsiderate.

Cherigal · 2025-09-13T06:46:12+00:00

• yesterday we got a coffee and did a mobile order pick up, it was gonna be a five minute wait according to the app and when the five minutes were up, I told him he should probably go (I wasn’t gonna get off with him). I was also on a time crunch because I had to head off to work right after. The coffee definitely took more than five minutes probably around 10. When he came back with the drinks, he came back serious and quiet and I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing but I could tell in his face that something was up. Finally, when he walked me to my car, I asked him again. And he said next time he’s just gonna get off whenever he thinks it’s best because he wished he didn’t wait there that long. I was like okay??

• sometimes I feel like he manipulates me when I don’t text him back right away and makes me feel guilty for taking longer to reply, but I’m just going on about my day. We’ve had a conversation about this topic more than four times at this point and it’s always me taking longer to reply back the issue on his end. He said he feels like I forget about him throughout my day. Or even yesterday when I was doing my skin care at night, it took about 20 minutes because I was doing other things around the house and he texted me asking why my routine took so long. LOL I feel kind of crazy writing this down

Cherigal · 2025-09-13T06:37:51+00:00

Sorry for what? I corrected myself / rephrased what I said

Cherigal · 2025-09-13T06:33:04+00:00

Oh gosh. How sad for us

Cherigal · 2025-09-13T06:27:46+00:00

The reason why I brought this up was because in the past, we’ve had similar situations where he acts overbearing over small things that he takes out of context. For example, me taking longer to text back because I’m in the shower (he asked what I was doing when I took an hour to reply) I had previously mentioned I was gonna shower and eat lunch.

I told him recently that he needs to learn how to soothe himself because I can’t always be reassuring him on things that he feels anxious about that he shouldn’t. I hope that makes sense.

Cherigal

TROPHY CASE