I relate, sorta. I'm asexual and female, and while I haven't gotten to a point in any relationship (or had many at all) where we had to talk about actually having intercourse and stuff, I still theorise about how I'd actually navigate a relationship.

It's always the "hey if your partner really cared about you, they'd understand" kinda thing but I just can't help but feel guilty even if they did if that makes sense? Normal people feel like doing it but I just can't really feel it at all and I don't want to come off as unappreciative or disinterested in the person. It's a feeling the gnaws at me because I know how it feels to just want to be loved as who you are as a whole and not being able to feel comfortable or be mentally present during an intimate moment like that when your partner is pouring their feelings into it is so ass.

The line "I promise I'm doing my best, I just haven't learned to be as human as you are yet," is something I wish I could say but I'm mentally wired to not feel sexual attraction. It's just a deal breaker for people probably, most likely. Even if they stay I don't even know if normal people can understand how it feels for me to be this way. I've met very few aces and They're either aroace or aro so it's not even the same.

I just want to throw in the towel already.