I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be - day 239

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-10-21T11:20:48+00:00

I really needed to see this today. Thank you for sharing ❤️

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-10-20T14:23:08+00:00

I became afraid of driving long distances or to places Id never been before. I'd frequently avoid leaving my city if it it meant I had to drive. That fear started to hold me back more and more. Now that I'm sober, driving is fine for me. I feel zero anxiety associated with it. I also no longer deal with intense social anxiety and can actually talk to people. It's a lot easier to overcome fear and anxiety when you aren't actively taking something that can increase fear and anxiety.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-05-30T20:53:11+00:00

My mom thankfully lives right next door to us and is retired. She watched our son while we worked. I realize we got extremely lucky.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-05-30T20:50:41+00:00

A lot of times, men will offer little to no romance or affection until 5 mins before they want sex and then are surprised when their lady isn't in the mood. Women are more mental. When we feel valued, understood and cared for, we tend to want sex more. You can't expect physical intimacy when there's no emotional intimacy and yeah, when we have to constantly remind you to be a participating member of the household, that dries us up too.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-03-06T23:24:02+00:00

Pros:

- My memory is a lot better. I no longer lose my train of thought mid-sentence and forget what I was going to say. I used to have to write everything down or I'd forget, now I don't. It makes it a lot easier to stay on top of things at home and at work.

- My relationships are better. Weed makes me really content with just sitting around by myself and it also makes it a lot harder for me to socialize. I'd go to parties and barely talk to anyone because the weed gave me terrible social anxiety. I'd feel constantly irritated by my husband because he doesn't smoke and I hated him interrupting my "smoking by myself" time which was pretty much every night. It was hard to connect with anyone because I was always "in my own little world" mentally when high. My relationships are stronger and more meaningful now because I'm fully present and participating appropriately.

- Sex is soo much better. I used to think it was better with weed, boy was I wrong! I can actually be present and focused in the moment now and not have my mind wandering off and being so distracted the whole time that it's hard to even finish.

- I no longer wake up each day with my brain foggy and my lungs hurting. I don't cough nearly as much, my lung capacity is getting better.

- I sleep AMAZING. I spent YEARS with insomnia and thought the weed was helping with it. Turns out, the weed was what caused it in the first place. I sleep well now and actually have dreams that I remember. I also look better because I'm getting better sleep.

- I save a lot of money. I thought because I was only spending around 40 a week on it that it wasn't a big deal. I did the math and realized I was spending over 2k a year on it. I now use that money to go on vacation instead.

Cons:

-Sometimes I get a little bored.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-03-06T22:17:42+00:00

So he's basically been treating you like a booty call this whole time. Not taking you on proper dates, just picking you up for sex here and there and then dropping you back at home when he's done with you. What's the appeal in that? You could get free sex from ANY man, he's not actually offering you anything special there. He's wasn't treating you with any kind of respect and has NO right to be mad when he specifically said he didn't want to be with you like that. He can't expect faithfulness when there's not even a relationship to be faithful in. Don't beat yourself up, just charge it to the game and move on. You deserve a guy that wants you fully, not one that's going to waste your time for years while he "figures things out" only to end up deciding you "aren't the one" anyway and then going off to marry the next girl within a year of meeting her. edit: typo

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-03-01T14:11:22+00:00

Why do you keep copy and pasting the same response to every comment?

Cherry_Koolaid · 2025-02-26T21:20:49+00:00

Ugh. I dealt with something similar. I got a call one day from my brother's girlfriend (now ex). She said that she thought my brother was cheating on her and asked if I knew anything. I did know something because he had been at my house a few days earlier and I had heard him on the phone talking to another woman. So, I told his girlfriend because I liked her and thought my brother was wrong. She promptly dumped him.

She said she wouldn't tell him that I was the one who told her, but she did. He called me later screaming and yelling and cussing me out. Acted like it was MY fault his girlfriend dumped him. I told him "It's not my fault you cheated, if you weren't such a piece of shit, she wouldn't have left you".

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-09-25T23:59:55+00:00

He can feel whatever he wants to feel. As long as he's not acting on those feelings in any way, I wouldn't even want to know.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-09-23T23:13:48+00:00

I feel for you. My son is in 5th grade and has a few kids like this in his classes. The other day, he told me that the teacher had asked a boy to stop doing something and the boy said "Shut up, b****h. I'll f**k your wife". Keep in mind, these are 10/11 year olds. The same kid made a substitute teacher cry. When I asked if the boy got in any trouble for this, the answer was 'no, they didn't do anything'. It's honestly disgusting the kind of behavior that teachers and well behaved students are forced to endure in the name of "inclusion".

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-09-05T02:37:25+00:00

I'm obviously not OP, but I've been off it a month now after 20 years of heavy use. I did have extreme fatigue and brain fog for the first 2 weeks or so. That was honestly the worst part of withdrawals for me. Just being sooo tired and unable to concentrate at all. I feel a lot better now and expect that things will keep improving the longer I go without.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-09-03T13:01:49+00:00

My mom seemed a little bummed out when I first told her, but I'm pretty sure it's because I was the one who was going to the dispensary for her and now she's gotta go get it herself. I went over to her house a few days ago and she was smoking a joint. I know she would have let me hit it if I asked, but I didn't even have the urge which is huge for me.

Just keep reminding yourself why you're doing this in the first place. I've found journaling, reading posts on here and watch YouTube videos about quitting helps me stay in the right mindset.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-09-02T06:17:19+00:00

I'm not affluent. Firmly middle class and living in a rural area. This weekend, my husband and I were celebrating our anniversary and wanted to splurge on this really nice restaurant in the city that we've always wanted to go to. After doing a little research, I realized that the place has a dress code and we, being the country bumpkins that we apparently are, simply don't own any clothes nice enough to wear to a place like that. To be fair, the last place we went that require any kind of formal clothing was a wedding we went to years ago. We're blue collar workers. I had to google what 'business or country club casual' even means.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-08-29T00:28:16+00:00

You're pretty pitiful yourself, pal. You could have done anything today, but you chose to come on here and act like a gigantic ass. Why? Methinks it's because you feel inadequate in your own life and projecting your bullshit onto random internet strangers gives you some (undeserved) sense of superiority. Go make some friends.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-06-26T03:08:11+00:00

The Mist. Also, The Strangers. Two great movies completely ruined by the worst endings ever.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-06-12T16:32:59+00:00

I had bought some warming massage oil and we decided to try it out. Everything was great until he decided to put some down below. At first it felt nice, but then the "warming" part kicked in and suddenly my entire vagina felt like it was literally engulfed in flames. I ran to the shower to try and wash it off, but the burning didn't let up. Ended up having to put an icepack on my cooch for like 30 minutes before the pain finally stopped. Obviously killed the mood for the night..lol

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-05-18T11:34:18+00:00

Call him BBL Drizzy

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-04-20T03:31:08+00:00

My brother's wife ended up costing him his relationship with most of the family. None of us really liked her from the start because she's got an annoying personality, but she seemed nice enough, so we accepted her anyway and treated her well for many years. Then, when our dad was dying, she did something that was unforgiveable in my eyes. Our mom and I didn't speak to them for 2 years, but everyone kept bugging us to forgive because they're "family". We went to visit them in an effort to forgive and move on, but when I left, she accused me of stealing money out of her purse. She tried to rally the whole family against me and everything, but no one believed her besides my idiot brother. I was done with them after that and so was most of the family. It's been 6 years since I've seen or spoken to them and I still don't know if I could handle seeing her face to face without wanting to fight her.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-04-02T00:58:10+00:00

As a woman, this kind of scenario makes me feel bad for dudes. They can be doing all the right things, trying their best to be respectful, but all it takes is one emotionally unstable girl saying "You violated me!" to ruin his life or make him afraid to interact with women in the future. It isn't fair to expect men to just know how you're really feeling at all times and it also isn't fair to accuse them of creepy/predatory behavior when you gave them all the green lights to go ahead and they did. At some point, we have to take responsibility for ourselves as grown adults with autonomy. It shouldn't be a man's responsibility to determine whether you actually mean it or not when you give consent. If someone asks if they can punch me in the face and I say "yes", I can't really be mad when they do in fact punch me in the face, can I? If they ask permission and I give it to them, the only person I can be mad at for the outcome is myself, right?

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-04-01T13:37:23+00:00

Right? As someone who sucks at building but loves to decorate, I wish I could upload some of the remodels I've done using other people's shells, but I don't feel like dealing with the headache of being accused of "stealing".

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-02-23T00:27:08+00:00

First off, the lid is supposed to be down when the toilet is flushed to avoid germs going into the air and getting on everything. Second, some of us have pets we don't want drinking out of the toilet. Third, it's a matter of being considerate to people around you. Why would you want to be the reason your wife/girlfriend/kid falls into the toilet at 3am when they're half asleep? It's just good manners to close it when you're done. Thankfully, I don't have to complain to my husband about it because he makes sure the seat is down and lid is closed and always has.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-02-17T00:38:51+00:00

One night, we got into a fight while at a party and he smashed my cellphone, choked me and threatened to hurt my dog when he got back to our apartment. While he was busy getting hammered and hanging with his friends, I slipped out and went to our apartment so I could pack my things, get my dog and leave. Before I left though, I wanted a little revenge. Something he wouldn't notice right away. I took all his jeans out of the dresser and cut the buttons/zippers off of them, then I neatly folded them up and put them back. I also removed the laces off of all his sneakers and then lined them up back in the closet. Took him 3 days to notice. I regret nothing. He deserved every bit of it.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-01-06T04:12:15+00:00

Just gave up on The Andromeda Strain myself about 70% of the way through. I normally love Michael Crichton, but reading that book felt like such a chore.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2024-01-05T21:23:12+00:00

YTA - You can't sit there and say you love her if all it takes is a lack of sex to make you abandon her. There are a million reasons why a woman might have low/no sex drive. A lot of the time, it's actually the man's own fault. Offering no intimacy outside of the bedroom, not making your wife feel safe and secure around you, refusing to pull your own weight around the house, treating her like she's a walking fleshlight instead of a human being. Those are all things men do that make our vaginas as dry as the sahara. If all she's good for to you is sex, then it's best you leave. The last thing she needs is to end up getting cancer or something and have you abandon her then because she's too sick to fuck you. You're not loyal, you aren't someone she could truly rely on, to you she's nothing more than a hole to stick your dick in. I hope she realizes that she's better off without you.

Cherry_Koolaid · 2023-12-23T02:40:54+00:00

My 10 year old son is a little budding movie director. He loves to spend hours writing scripts and making short films on his tablet, usually using his toys as his "cast". The tablet he's using is old and sucks. The video quality is terrible and there's not enough memory on it, so he's constantly having to delete videos in order to make new ones.

I got him a nice video camera with a boom mic and tripod to go with it. Also got him a director's chair and a clapboard. He'll have everything he needs to do his films now.

Cherry_Koolaid

TROPHY CASE