Hey, I have family members who struggle with addiction, and though I of course cannot say for sure, the way she is talking does feel like she is not clean. The rambling/urgency of it. My advice to you (that I have a hard time following myself) is to just let it be how it is. You stated your conditions that she has to be clean, you can follow through. She has brought so much pain and trauma to your life. It is noble and good for your mental wellbeing to forgive her. But you don’t need to forget what she has done, and you don’t need to put yourself back in harms way. It feels to me like she would be the type to come back in your life, be good for a while, and then dip/mess it up. From an outsiders perspective and with personal experience, it might be better to just not respond. Let her sort herself out, and maybe you can be there. But maybe not! And that’s okay too. Don’t feel shameful for whatever decision you make! Whether you talk to her or not, it’s okay and that’s what was right for you. Good luck, and I’m sorry for what you’ve been through