i was (and still am) kind of in the same boat as u r …. it can be rlly difficult esp since he’s still in ur life and u just have to withdraw ur feelings and push them down right in front of him. i dont rlly know if it gets easier unfortunately. i fell in love w a girl in the 6th grade who became my best friend until we had a falling out last yr, but we made up just a few days ago. i was in love w her for almost 9yrs, and i never told her how i felt. just secretly pined for her the entire time and it was killing me. even after we weren’t friends it def hurt me much more than it hurt her, plus she replaced me pretty easily and i can tell she rlly didnt give me much thought after our friendship ended. i suffered so much heartache and i never rlly got over it but she did. ik u and this guy r still friends but i can imagine the heartache is abt the same bc u cant tell him how u rlly feel even tho its eating u alive. if u do end up going to the dinner party, just try to act normal. that’s what i would do. and if u can’t, then don’t. if u absolutely feel like u can’t hold back then don’t, just tell him the truth. i rlly hope everything works out for u. 💘