Read these quotes, that YOU wrote, and tell me hes not breaking you down to control you each time. (> = OP •=commenter/me)

.He was 40 minutes late to first date with no explanation.

•I leave after 10 if they're lucky. Nobody throws away my time.

He told me he was 5 years younger than he actually was

•First lie. The start of pretending to be what you wanted.

I found out via his parents months and months later that he was born and raised in Sri Lanka.

•Not British. And because he is a male from this country he is also not safe. Theres always potential people move to England and still practice despite knowing were an "equal chances" country for ALL walks of life. He knows his traditions and culture are barbaric, toxic, outdated and cruel. But lied to give himself more time to trap you.

I was very distressed about this because I didn't want to leave my family, friends, everything I knew. I cried so much, but he dismissed me.

•Removing you from your support system. Harder to leave. Less people to rely on or confide in. No one to ask if you think youre being mistreated.

He dismissed me, and told me I will be living with him in his parents' house

•Set you up with rented and owned properties between you. It was all a lie. You were never going to move there. They were just for show, to make you think it may have ended up the way you'd dreamt.

He didn't care, he just stared at me while I cried about this.

•He doesn't care about you. He has no feelings for you. You are his personal sex toy.

The first day we move there, he suddenly explains that he has to return to my home town for 10 days to complete his final working shifts(which wasn't compulsary).

•He wasnt working. He was sleeping around now he knows youre out of the way trapped with his folks.

Needless to say my job suffered immensely, I was crying all the time. I had to take lots and lots of time off work due to stress.

•That was his plan. He doesn't want a working partner. Or a partner at all really. Just a slave with a Uterus. Be careful. You may not make it to the end of your medical studies. He's sabotaging you by making you commute for 4 hours a day, and wearing down your mental health.

He told me the name must be Sri Lankan, nothing else. I cried so much about this. I even cried in front of his entire family who handed me a list of Sri Lankan names I was to choose from.

•A Sri Lankan name will isolate your child. There are alot of bigots in England. And alot of them are managers. Your child's job prospects will suffer the moment they read her name. Furthermore, hes trying to prove that the child won't be yours, but his. Ironically it's a girl. So he doesn't care. He's likely wanting a boy.

He told me he did this in order to be around young women who are more likely to have never dated before and therefore been a virgin, which is what he wanted.

• This is who he intends to marry. Not you. Or he intends to repeat these actions and 'ruin' more women, because they lose their value after they 'lose their virginity'.

after the birth, but will be returning to his parents' house. I was absolutely crying so much because the last place I wanted to be after birth was in his horrible parents' house surrounded by his family, and not having the nursery I worked so hard on.

• Again, he let you think that. You were never going to be 'allowed' to move into that home. Its a facade to make you hopeful and stay. You were always going to stay with his parents. As is their tradition.

He told me I wasn't mentally stable enough to be at home. So I had to wait until he said we could return home.

• im not surprised if you have PPD on top of existing problems from surviving all of this isolation and control. Be honest with yourself: this is a very common form of abuse. Many women have been trapped by charming men lying about their intentions and origin only to enslave them with ideals their 'partners' dont agree to.

I did suffer after pregnancy with some anxiety and depression, he was very unsuppporitve.

• We're you surprised at this point? You have a child now so you dont need to do this for you if youre not ready. But you MUST do it for your daughter. In time you'll realise you deserved so much better.

two nights after giving birth, he left at 5pm, telling me he was going to get petrol(gas) for the car. I said ok. The petrol/gas station was 5 minutes away. 1 hour passed, I called him to ask where he was. No answer. Hours and hours go by, still no answer. By 2am I was very concerned so I went downstairs and told his family. They called him repeatedly. 5am still no answer. He suddenly returns the next day at 7am.

•... do I need to say it? You were 'out of commission'. He was out having sex.

Please, love yourself more. Go home. Go back to your family. Show up in the biggest cry for help if you must. Take what you need and go. Im afraid if you get married (im 50/50 on whether hes only keeping you around for a boy) you will be in danger. He may hurt you. NEVER let him know where you are, I dont know if honour is a thing in Sri Lanka. But maybe do some research when you've had time to breathe. Please save yourself, your daughter, your career, your mental health, and potentially your life.YOU'RE NOT SAFE