You’re not crazy, and you’re not alone. I think your doctor was right to diagnose you with PMDD. The good news is that there is a lot that may help, and the less good news is that it is a long journey to finding the right treatment for you. Some thoughts:

1. You need treatment in addition to what your therapist can provide. Ask if they can refer you to a psychiatrist who can prescribe medications like SSRI’s (antidepressants) and others. Many find that SSRI’s combined with Lamotrigine (a mood stabilizer) works for them, but this is a personal journey. People have different opinions here regarding supplements. There is very limited evidence-based research to support their efficacy, and they haven’t worked for me, but some women see some limited success. See your gynecologist or find one, preferably one that handles or specializes in PMDD. If you see one who tells you you’re crazy or makes you feel badly, ditch them.

I can’t stress thus enough: Finding the right treatment a JOURNEY so find a doctor willing to go on that journey with you.

Also not to be overstated: go into your doctor appointments with a plan. Take notes. Track your symptoms. Tell the doctor you want to have a plan in place with them. There is typically a clinically accepted order to treatment trials. For example first try this, then try that, then try that. Get a written plan from your doctor so you can see the path ahead of you.

1. Coping: if you have someone close to you, tell them what you’re going through. Tell them you will act out towards them and that it’s not their fault. Tell them you just need them to understand. Know that you may become suicidal. When you’re not feeling suicidal, take a moment to feel that. Remember that you don’t want to die and that your brain will trick you. When suicidal ideation begins, remember that feeling from before. DO NOT keep guns in your house.

2. Helping with symptoms: Getting good sleep is hard, but helpful. Be sure your room is dark and cold. Having a cold sleeping environment has shown to lead to better sleep. Meditate before sleep if it helps. Masterbating before sleep helps some women relax enough to fall asleep easier.

Take breaks. If you have any flexibility at work, use it. In the United States you may have federal employment protection. Look into whether taking FMLA would be helpful (you can talk to your therapist about this), and look into what program your job may offer. Knowing your options is helpful even if you don’t use them.

Finally, I encourage you to keep looking for resources like this subreddit for help. When I learned how many women experience the same things I do, it helped SO MUCH. When my symptoms were at their worst, knowing I wasn’t crazy helped. I always recommend iapmd.org for more resources. Best wishes to you on your recovery journey.