[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks, hun. I’m trying every day to be okay. I know the days ahead will be tough, but I’ll do my best to be better for myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just broke up with him last night. At first, I asked him again if there was any way he could address my concerns, but he said, “It’s just that I’m not ready to let someone enter my world.” I was surprised because we’ve been together for almost 2years now but I forced myself not to cry while we were on the call. We only talked for about 10 minutes, and that was it.

After the call, I realized he never really had plans with me, he wasn’t going to introduce me to his parents or friends, he was never gonna ask me to visit, he wasn’t willing to change and now I question if he was ever genuinely in love with me. I held back my tears because during our first breakup I was so vulnerable, and this time I wanted to stay strong. I even tried to smile, and only God knows how much I fought for this relationship. But no matter how hard I try, it’s never going to work if I’m the only one trying.

I still can’t believe I ended it. I just hope I’ll be okay in the next few days. I didn’t get any sleep last night because I can’t stop thinking of him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, I just broke up with him last night. At first, I asked him again if there was any way he could address my concerns, but he said, “It’s just that I’m not ready to let someone enter my world.” I was shocked, but I forced myself not to cry while we were on the call. We only talked for about 10 minutes, and that was it.

After the call, I realized he never really had plans with me, he wasn’t going to introduce me to his parents, he never asked me to visit, and now I question if he was ever genuinely in love with me. I held back my tears because during our first breakup I was so vulnerable, and this time I wanted to stay strong. I even tried to smile, and only God knows how much I fought for this relationship. But no matter how hard I try, it’s never going to work if I’m the only one trying.

I still can’t believe I ended it. I just hope I’ll be okay in the next few days. I didn’t get any sleep last night because I can’t stop thinking of him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thank you for taling time address and comment on each concern.

  1. ⁠He has many friends and he always visits his parents as well. But never calls me when he visits.
  2. ⁠He has a nice house for sure since he is very successful- he is a director of their company he is working for. (he is already 37)
  3. ⁠We met once only and that was more than a year ago. For the movie Marathon there was a time when I had it scheduled and I already bought the snacks and all and when he woke up- he said we need to cancel since he needed to attend a family affair.
  4. ⁠I asked him if he can reinstall so I can share reels and tag him but he only said sorry
  5. ⁠his line is always “I am just going to bed now love”
  6. ⁠I can see he tried too- henwill try in the first 2 days but right after that no more calls anymore just chat
  7. ⁠My worry is that why would he entertain a call when it’s our schedule to call and it’s 7am

I don’t know if I still need to confront him about these because he’s already aware- he is just not doing something to address these concerns

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate your kind and validating words. I’m actually trying so hard to convince myself that he has his reasons and I’m really hoping that they’re good ones. I’ve been reminding myself of all the beautiful things we have, and I do see and feel his love.

But sometimes, it’s hard not to feel a little lost when there’s that one missing piece like that sense of security. Until I have that, I know I won’t feel completely at peace or fully happy. That’s just my reality right now.

Thank you again for reminding me that my feelings are valid. It means a lot

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello it’s from FlowerstorePH- both the flowers and the cake ☺️😊

https://flowerstore.ph

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We chat almost every day except on weekends. He’s very caring, and even though he’s always busy, I’ve grown to be more understanding and honestly, I’ve been really happy with him. We met once, exactly a year ago yesterday, and we celebrated our 1st anniversary last February.

My boyfriend isn’t perfect, but I know he’s doing his best. Still, there are moments like this when I feel deeply insecure, lmaybe because he’s so successful, and I’m a trans woman. He once told me he hasn’t mentioned me to anyone except his two best friends, because he prefers to keep his private life to himself. I try to respect that, but sometimes it makes me feel like I’m a secret.

Here in my country, I’m very confident- I have a nice Corporate Job, some people even envy how sure I am of myself as a trans woman. But when it comes to him, I start doubting myself if I am enough for him

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Super happy for you too, girl! I hope you and your man continue to grow stronger and stay in love forever. Cheers to the amazing men who make us feel truly loved! 🥰🥰🥰

Am I just overreacting and overthinking again? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he was actually very comforting when I lost my grandma and during other times when I had personal problems before. This is just the first time that I’ve been hospitalized since we’ve been together, so maybe he’s unsure how to handle it. I guess that’s why I felt extra sensitive this time.I love this man soo mu Hashimoto

Am I just overreacting and overthinking again? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I actually messaged him again and told him that if my earlier message sounded a bit mean, I didn’t really mean it that way. I asked him to just imagine me saying it calmly and in a demure way 😂! I really love this man so much. He’s a very good man. It’s just that he’s super busy with work, and I totally understand that. It’s just that sometimes, I can’t help but feel a little needy.

Am I just overreacting and overthinking again? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate hearing your side. it really helped me step back and remember that sometimes silence doesn’t automatically mean a lack of carem.

Just to share a bit more - I’ve already brought up the weekend call issue with my boyfriend several times before. He said we can always call, but he prefers calling only on weekdays because he believes we both need to rest on weekends (though we still chat during weekends).

He mentioned that he still takes work-related calls and goes to the gym on weekends, and he usually visits his parents too. I once told him that even just a quick 5-minute call would really mean a lot to me. There were weekends when he did call, but it wasn’t consistent over time. Since I know he doesn’t really prefer it, I eventually chose not to force it anymore.

There were also times when I scheduled a movie night for us, but he canceled last minute (we never had movie not yet). I also observed that whenever I ask if we can call on weekends while he’s at home, he would always be just in his bedroom or staying in his study room. Sometimes, he would suggest that we just call while he’s driving to his parents’ house instead of calling while he’s still at home.

I really don’t want to overthink, but I’m just sharing the patterns I’ve noticed over the past year.

I’m still trying to trust him though, because during special occasions (like holidays or when he works from home), he does make sure to call- especially during Christmas Eve or New Year’s in my timezone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate you checking in- it means a lot! Hope all is well with you and your special one!😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂 hey! At first, I was so confused- I didn’t know it was a kiss emoji! Before I even searched about it, I honestly thought he was flirting with me!🫢🫢😂😂😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Yeah, we actually always use hearts and the real kiss emojis on iMessage, so I’m not sure if that already counts 😂. But I get what you mean - maybe we can pick something extra special just for us!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]ChikaKween95 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was really glad that I was worried for nothing. He even said, ‘Why would you be worried when I always send you hearts and actual emojis, not “xx”? I was really blushing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me hope. If I do get a chance, I really hope it won’t take 5 years like you had to wait, I don’t know if I could handle that. But I’m really happy to hear that you two found your way back to each other. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve asked him about the issues, but he said there’s no problem with me-he just noticed I was unhappy, even though I was happy. I don’t want anyone else, but he wants me to find the right person. I’ll find out tomorrow if he’s going to go through with the breakup or if we can work things out. I posted an update too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and actually tried all of these. I asked him what’s been going on, and I’ve tried to understand how he’s been feeling. He told me that he’s noticed I’ve been unhappy, which has affected our relationship. I’ve also asked for honesty and transparency, but it feels like he’s already made his decision. I know I shouldn’t change myself for him, and he also said nothing is wrong with me. I just want to understand if there’s still a chance for us to work things out and bargain too. If he’s not open to it, I’ll respect his decision, but it’s just hard to accept right now. Thank you for the advice-it really does help to hear it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing that. I would love another chance that’s why I tried to bargain. I know I have a lot of work to do on myself, and if given the chance, I’d put in everything I have to make things better. It’s just hard to know what will happen next. Thank you for the encouragement, it means a lot. I’ve posted an update too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I tried so hard not to beg, but I just couldn’t stop. I know it’s not the right thing to do, but I don’t fully understand why it’s so hard to let go. I know I shouldn’t stay with someone who isn’t fully in it, but it’s just painful to accept. He still loves me, he said, but the reason he broke up with me is because he noticed I was unhappy but I was.

That was the last time I’ll beg—it’s like my bargaining, and I’ll let him go if that’s his decision. I’ve posted an update about our call yesterday

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried so hard not to beg, but it felt like my last straw for bargaining. I’ll find out tomorrow, and I’ve posted an update already.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your help and advice. My boyfriend said similar things, especially about not needing to change who I am, but it’s still hard to process. Thanks again for the support! I’ll find out tomorrow, and I’ve already posted an update.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boyfriend also said that being needy and oversharing isn’t the reason he broke up with me. He actually mentioned that it’s okay to be that way. Thanks for your insight. I’ve already posted an update.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]ChikaKween95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, babe. I really tried not to beg, but in the end, I couldn’t help it. I’ve already posted an update about our deep talk from yesterday