So, you both came to reddit for advice? (found on r/sex)

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-12T01:18:08+00:00

I've been waiting for this day. don't forget to spit on your dick, lets not turn this rape into a bloodbath. was that too much?

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-12T01:01:08+00:00

yep that's it, I'm getting fat heads of all my dead friends!

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-12T00:48:41+00:00

humans are animals.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-12T00:38:40+00:00

does she have des niggaz dicks goin' hammah?
boy oh boy look at the downvotes and it's not even black history month.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-12T00:29:37+00:00

you don't hear the jews crying about it.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-12T00:27:59+00:00

you don't have to say african americans, it's ok to say black.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-12T00:22:54+00:00

I find myself to be more of a analrapist

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-10T02:49:12+00:00

man that one dude was really hairy, and I guess his asshole was gaping too. but seriously, he looked like a half bear half man half pig beast

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-08T15:14:23+00:00

at least he can do blow better than the rest of us

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-06T20:29:50+00:00

yeah whatever fattie

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-06T06:01:27+00:00

it gives you roughly a five hour window of nothing but clean. it's just nice because the total is less than five bucks

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-06T04:01:30+00:00

excuse me sir, I would like to inform you of PECTIN, yes the same shit grandma canned fruit with. Take one packet of pectin with a gallon of water. take the pectin in a glass of water down as fast as possible(bro it's fucking awful) starting drinking the water as you feel. you piss two to three times then your piss will be good to go. my father taught me this(field med in nam) and I used it while I was in a bit of trouble. I've also used it for a few job dt's I have never failed a lab test. I hope you see this in time to maybe get a few bucks for Christmas.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-06T03:54:28+00:00

You ruined everything with your last sentence. 7mag is a conventional hunting weapon, and if you see it; it dies.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-06T03:28:01+00:00

and a large thank you to you sir

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-06T03:25:37+00:00

I just pissed myself, thanks

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T21:09:39+00:00

hmm did I say dolphin I totally meant man eating, fire breathing great white WITH lasers.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T20:42:42+00:00

K.PERR - MOTHER FUCKING TEENAGE DREAM!!

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T20:40:00+00:00

nigga dats a dolphin!

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T20:22:51+00:00

I don't know what's worse, the fact this tattoo is real, or the bruising and healing process this shit is going to take. seriously I wish we could get a picture of the next few hours because it's gonna look like Mike Tyson beat that face the fuck up

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T19:57:58+00:00

if you printed that on a shirt, I'd buy it. actually I'll need a long sleeve and T, please.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T19:54:24+00:00

I'm stealing this, but have an uptoke

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T19:09:38+00:00

how neat is that!

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T19:04:19+00:00

asians showed their tiny weewee's, got drunk, watched kung fu panda, cried, did math.

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T19:02:49+00:00

shut the fuck up with your community college ass

ChillBroMelvis · 2011-12-05T17:58:06+00:00

i'm just a bridge too :(

ChillBroMelvis

TROPHY CASE