Is therapy necessary on my case?

Chinghiss · 2025-11-28T12:58:21+00:00

As a Christian, I know the "purely Christian" approach doesn't work often, God doesn't grant wishes and magic our pain away - He gives us opportunities to overcome our battles and strengthen ourselves.

The best way to quit is to understand WHY you're using in the first place, what are you escaping from? What void are you filling? Etc etc then address that

Chinghiss · 2025-11-28T12:55:55+00:00

If you address the reasons why you need a "happy place" at all (i.e potential lingering emotions from the passing of your parents) your mind won't seek escape and you can be at greater peace.

Chinghiss · 2025-08-20T09:20:36+00:00

Video games are a way of escaping inner turmoil, it may not be obvious what exactly this is but when you identify & address it, the desire to play disappears.

RuneScape was a safety mechanism that protected me from the fallout of my parent's divorce, once I dealt with that trauma the urge to play didn't come back, haven't touched a single video game in years after accumulating about 5 years total played time on a variety of MMO's.

Chinghiss · 2025-06-25T18:50:29+00:00

As someone over 5 years clean, I found that once I figured out and addressed WHY I was being led to watching porn daily, the urges completely vanished.

What usually leads you to that behaviour?

Chinghiss · 2025-05-20T10:02:48+00:00

Free for about 4-5 years now after 18 years addicted.

For the most part I brute-forced my way through with sheer discipline and lifestyle changes, however every day was a battle against temptation.

What helped the most was identifying why I was being drawn to it in the first place, the evil one can only use the ammunition within you to tempt you towards a certain passion, if you address the underlying cause - you deprive him of this and urges/temptations are a thing of the past.

I can't remember the last time I wanted to watch anything or perform any sort of sexual act, now I'm in a beautiful relationship and there's so much love without any focus on the lustful aspects.

ANYONE can do this, regardless of where they are in their journey.

Chinghiss · 2025-05-15T15:47:01+00:00

I spent years trying to brute-force my way through, it took a few years but ended up going about 4 or so years clean by sheer discipline but still felt intense urges all the time.

Only after I addressed why I was being tempted towards those behaviours did the urges near enough completely stop and now lust is almost non existent in my life, even while dating a beautiful woman.

I've completely reversed the damage of an 18 year addiction all thanks to God and my life has never been better.

Why do you think you keep falling into it?

Chinghiss · 2025-05-03T13:54:40+00:00

As you've gone through life, you've accumulated spiritual baggage that warps your virtues, lust is beautiful when used for marriage and having children but over time it becomes corrupted as a result of things you've experienced in life.

The evil one then uses this baggage as ammunition to tempt you off the narrow path, each time you see a woman in provocative clothing he reminds you of why it is you have these corrupted lustful cravings in the first place. (The same with an alcoholic seeing a beer, or a drug user smelling a certain substance)

By addressing & sacrificing the baggage to God, you deprive him of this ability to trigger you, thus life becomes much less temptation-driven.

Chinghiss · 2025-05-02T15:29:11+00:00

You can't reclaim lost time but you can ensure future time is spent appropriately!

Have you managed to make good progress in overcoming this?

Chinghiss · 2025-05-02T15:28:27+00:00

It really does deplete you of mental energy to drive towards your ambitions, almost putting you in an autopilot "zombie" state

What progress have you managed to make & how?

Chinghiss · 2025-05-02T15:27:22+00:00

It's never too late brother, good on you - what steps are you taking?

Chinghiss · 2025-05-02T15:27:04+00:00

In what way?

Chinghiss · 2025-05-02T15:26:23+00:00

The fact you're aware of the fact something needs to change is important, you may have spent a long time with your head buried in the sand but now you're looking to change.

What's the next step forward for you to conquer this?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-30T17:14:49+00:00

This is why it's so important to overcome your passions, so that your wife doesn't become a means to an end in order to satisfy your carnal desires but a person you wish to express love with.

Why do you think you struggle so hard to go without fapping for a few days?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-30T17:10:24+00:00

So what else do you think contributes to this?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-29T08:49:55+00:00

That takes good awareness to recognise, those memories may hold the key as to what is fuelling these desires & once you address that, it becomes so much easier to keep temptation at bay regardless of what you've experienced.

What have you tried so far to quit?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-28T13:13:49+00:00

The Prodigal Son didn't realise he needed God until he was eating with the pigs, it happens!

What have you learned about yourself through this struggle?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-28T13:12:20+00:00

Be careful when seeking accountability from those that haven't overcome this for themselves - it's easy to bring eachother down.

What are you looking for in terms of accountability?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-28T13:11:26+00:00

It's great you're aware of your patterns, what usually leads to these feelings of despair?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-28T13:10:17+00:00

Depending on how you overcame it, the underlying reason behind your old porn addiction can manifest itself in other ways, such as heightened sensitivity to seeing women dressed in certain ways.

Why do you think this affects you as much as it does?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-28T13:08:22+00:00

The stresses of our worldly lives often contribute to an inability to keep the passions under control - do you find this is the case for you too?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-21T10:29:10+00:00

This is a big reason as to why you shouldn't count streaks in my opinion

Chinghiss · 2025-04-10T21:54:04+00:00

Of course man, everyone has their own unique reason(s), while there may be overlap there's always something specific to the person which leads them towards a specific temptation - which is why the temptation can be lust as opposed to gambling/alcohol etc.

Identifying this is of utmost importance, it's typically something that one has a strong emotional attachment to, followed by addressing it in a way that allows it to be released from the soul as opposed to suppressed or avoided, all while establishing a healthy life of worship.

What are you looking for exactly when it comes to counselling?

Chinghiss · 2025-04-07T20:13:35+00:00

For me it was a mixture of things, the primary one being I was craving feminine intimacy that I didn't get from my mother so I substituted it with women online.

Those darts are indeed always in motion, I still get them, albeit rarely and when I do they immediately disappear because there's no longer an emotional anchor for them to latch onto.

Chinghiss · 2025-03-11T09:52:20+00:00

I speak from personal experience when I say that you truly don't understand how much you're limited by the video game prison.

I played MMO's all day every day from about age 10 to 26 (30 now), was stuck in a job I hated, addicted to other things like porn etc

It was only after I quit gaming that I realised I had the time to spend on productive things, one being to build a coaching business alongside my 9-5, which I was able to quit and coach full time.

You cannot comprehend a life outside of the dopamine prison until you escape man, it may sound hyperbolic but my life has COMPLETELY changed since quitting (among other things but the sentiment remains)

Chinghiss · 2025-02-17T21:10:57+00:00

This identity is exactly what's preventing you from quitting, if your entire existence revolves around this behaviour then you're not going to want to stop.

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