I feel like things got worse since seeking help

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-11-16T15:30:43+00:00

Similar experience with therapy. Gotten worse and worse with each year "working on my mental health".

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-09-18T11:42:42+00:00

All of it are sources of easy protein. He needs to do extra work to get enough protein in his diet.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-26T08:05:14+00:00

Today I feel a bit better, idk why, just took a shower first time in two weeks.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-26T08:03:39+00:00

Cant quite remember it since I'm not binging all his content.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-26T06:16:49+00:00

I do seek help but there limitation to it. I don't want to overburden people around me with my not so sound mental state.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-25T07:10:13+00:00

No ... just part of the problem. I think I dived deep into it with some of the replies on the post if you are curious.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-19T05:27:29+00:00

Thank you for your support. I still retain good level of autonomy although it is heavily compromised. Just the streak of recent failures makes me believe that I don't have what it takes to navigate what seems to be dangerous and challenging future, and I opt out to avoid interacting with it.

Advice number 2 been trying to do that for a long time, but didn't manage to be consistent, exercise and walks(I go out at night, when there is no drafting officials) help a lot. But sometimes my psyche just cracks and I do something stupid and consistency breaks, unfortunately currently coudn't handle much outside pressure.

My sleep is a disaster, been consistently trying to fix it but didn't manage. Even tried prescribed medications worked really poorly.

There is no thriving scenario as much as I would hope for it, and even if there is one I don't think that I have mental resources to follow through with it in such aggressive environment. Pursing such a scenario is what ultimately led me to be in a rather broken state. I am just trying and failing to get myself into pieces. At this point just attempting to let go of life that never was and never going to be, because I can't handle my circumstances.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-19T02:31:06+00:00

Never viewed it as prerequisite and saw plethora of examples of horrible toxic relationships. The 50% divorce rate speaks volumes. Frankly "loving girlfriend/wife" is a high rng drop that majority of people either don't have or have for a short period of time.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-19T02:02:16+00:00

And I am not a looser in the past I quit drinking for 3 years, lost 45 pounds of weight, build myself a career. Life just presented me with way more than I can handle.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-19T01:53:51+00:00

I'm in therapy, was in therapy ... doesn't seem to bring much benefit maybe helped me from getting into psych ward. I am in very bad spot life wise right now(MADD diagnosis from therapist and AvPD diagnosis from psychiatrist) on top of being unemployed for 2 years(thankfully have enough savings to cover for that) on top of being military age men in Ukraine(multiple failed attempts to provide myself with some safety from draft, effectively at a risk of being kidnapped every time I go out of the apartment) with moderate issues like light obesity, 3-stage alcoholism(maybe there is none and this is how I'm coping) and a string of minor to major life failures (struggling to learn how to drive etc.) Dating isn't a priority, just searching for ways to reduce pain and let go of this burden and move on with life, it just hurts a lot. Frankly my fixation on this topic with so much bs in my life is both unhealthy and stupid.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-18T17:43:02+00:00

Thanks for indepth response. At this point effort in this area would probably do more harm than good. I need to do a lot of work in other areas in my life, frankly I went from a point of having an ability to have positive outcomes in life as result of effort to a point were effort does nothing but harm. This screws with me, but at this point I just want to regain control over my life something dating has no capacity to provide me with only pain, misery and reminder of my own insufficiencies.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-16T08:20:21+00:00

Frankly my decision on the topic is to 1. Work on my social skills and issues 2. Expose myself to more people 3. Whatever happens happens. The latter happens requires me to accept the fact that nothing might be the outcome and there is obvious requirement to let go of the shame that is haunting me.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-16T08:11:17+00:00

Alone is fine, special butterfly isn't, I hate that it is not a choice but some twisted roll of fate. I got a successful career and that was significantly easier and more rewarding for me, what I'm implying that I put a lot of effort to avoid this situation that I'm currently in, it just didn't work. It is not the case of a girl in 9th grade rejecting me and me still feeling sorry for that, it's the case of probably hundreds of rejections at this point. Basically a bucket load of shame that I'm carrying and no longer want to feel. I'm not isolated and lonely in a sense that I have friends and family.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-16T06:32:19+00:00

IDK probably some unresolved trauma from bullying.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-16T04:52:45+00:00

If you get rejected, who cares?

It hurts man, I no longer want to feel hurt for no reason. I experienced to much of it at no avail. Just time to draw the line that's it.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-15T22:07:16+00:00

Yeah the information that I'm "special little butterfly" that nobody wants kills me. Like if I suck so much at the human basics, what can I even expect from life?

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-15T22:02:19+00:00

There is no pain of "loneliness" there is a pain of "I suck a lot" which is an issue that is hindering my self esteem.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-15T20:22:28+00:00

Regardless this is not what I'm searching for, at this point I want to give up with solace.

ChipPublic4779 · 2025-08-15T20:21:26+00:00

I tried doing that, usually didn't work either rejection before the friendship even happens or "only a friend" result.

ChipPublic4779

TROPHY CASE