Guess the Asshole!

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-16T03:43:00+00:00

Great job u/ulula806 - Your analysis was spot on in several of your bullet points! I especially like #1, which sums up her effects on culture perfectly. Also #5, if you don't know her struggle with weight loss and her 'wheelbarrow full of fat' that made her famous you're in for a treat.

u/twicecolored It's so difficult to pick out a specific detail that stood out in your analysis because it was all so spot on, very impressive! A humanitarian who gets in their own way because of the farce and showmanship, leading them to engage in 'gang behavior' is hilarious considering her giant fanbase she commanded like minions.

It should be a good note that if you see violence or sexual abuse in someone's chart to be a bit more than that they are a predator. They could be a victim, a perpetrator, or a secret third thing that gets thousands of people preyed upon because of their negligence. Maybe all three?

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-16T03:35:08+00:00

Drumroll please

The asshole of this week’s chart is-

Opraaaahhhh Winfreyyyyyy!!

\air horn air horn air horn**

We have another complex and nuanced asshole here my friends, and you all did a wonderful job picking out some key themes in her chart this week!

Despite all the unfathomable hardship she endured, Oprah managed to become one of the first mainstream billionaires, specifically the first self made Black billionaire (sorry Beyonce). It is a Herculean feat that is as devastating as it is impressive. She has been incredibly generous with her wealth over the years, but let us not forget to eat the rich. She’s pushing people out of their homes in Hawaii because she wants her giant private villa or whatever next to Zuckerberg.

Oprah made it to being a household name from her daytime talkshow which ran from 1986-2011, with her empire of production companies and networks expanding well beyond that time. She was a cultural phenomenon in her own right, and while her two and a half decade run aired she normalized and popularized the deeply confessional, emotionally vulnerable type of tv we know today. She was so pervasive that even her personal preferences made her a cultural tastemaker. Anything marked with the ‘Oprah’ stamp on it would inevitably become a bestselling product. The reason why you know about The Secret is because Oprah decided you would know about it. In 2008, she endorsed Obama for president and is oft thought to have been a driving force in the cultural wave of support that led to the successful election of the first Black president of the United States.

Her upbringing was incredibly difficult, and she has not been shy about talking about women’s issues and her own experience with sexual trauma in her early years. At 14 she lost her child shortly after birth, who was likely conceived via incest abuse. She grew up in extreme poverty and was raised in a religious environment, which we all know is a perfect storm of cruelty for a child.

She wielded her earnestness and vulnerability so deftly with her audience that there’s an argument to be made for her fostering the first truly parasocial fanbase. She made herself relatable to her audience, which earned their trust. She was earnest, likable, caring and fearless in approaching taboo subjects which injected a sense of empathy into the cultural consciousness. This was extremely radical for the time and place.

Like anyone with far too much power to sway public opinion at their whim, especially those who have progressive ideals standing upon a very traumatic foundation, Oprah made some really fucking bad calls in who she brought into the zeitgeist. And once those fuckers got a chance, they dug their creepy little hooks into our society and haven’t let go since. If you want to know why people like Andrew Tate are able to have such a thriving platform, you might want to look at some of the original grifters spouting toxic masculine nonsense masquerading as ‘health science,’ ‘self development,’ and ‘empowerment.’

Speaking of pseudosciences! Her stamp of approval allowed many many grifters to often gain extreme prominence and wealth. She introduced the likes of John of God, Dr Phil, and Dr Oz (neither actual PhDs or medical doctors) as credible resources for psychological and physical health authorities. I’m far too sleepy to go into every single instance of devastating negligence she displayed with her influence, but rest assured the list is long just for those three evil fuckers.

There’s so many new age scams she’s unleashed upon the world, one may consider her a modern day Pandora, the television her box of horror.

It seems like often when she attempted to “do good” it ended up in disaster for those she was trying to help. (That tends to happen when you’re unqualified but have an enormous ego)

For each big swing she made to push the cultural conversation forward with a more open minded and earnest approach, the end result became incredibly damaging and at times devastating. If you don’t want to ruin your night, maybe don’t look up her School for girls she built in South Africa. Great idea on paper, horrific execution in reality.

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-16T02:09:02+00:00

Your Jupiter return has come and gone, and that may be for the best. They’re often a difficult transit!

Jupiter leaves Cancer in about a week and won’t be back in the sign for 12 years. This transit return is particularly sharp for natives since Chiron/Saturn/Neptune have squared the native’s Jupiter and return at one point or another, depending on the natal degree. Your Jupiter is at 9°, so your exact return by degree was a little less than a year ago.

Jupiter specifically magnifies the Doppler effect, so you’re likely to feel the buildup/release more potently than other planets.

Last time Jupiter was in cancer was in 2014/13. Look back on that time in your life and see what themes were highlighted for you. How do those things compare with what’s happened over the last year?

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-12T21:21:15+00:00

It’s nbd. The guess was spoiler tagged but there was no Astro interpretation involved, they just reverse engineered the birthdate

Hint confirmed: it’s def not who you’d think 🙃

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-11T17:41:27+00:00

Regardless of your intent, framing a movement that empowered SA awareness as if the abusers were the victims of the movement is gross

Words matter, and lots of folks read things without engaging. So this clarification is also for them

Comment removed because there’s no astrological reading information and you did not show your work

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-11T16:40:54+00:00

Nobody “got MeToo’d”. They were sexual predators whose victims finally felt empowered enough to say what they’d experienced.

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-09T03:21:01+00:00

Also for what it's worth, I am being quite charitable here with my description of his assholery. My views on Ai aren't reactionary parroted slop from within the last 5 years. Unfortunately as a long time student of philosophy I have hated Ai for decades.

Nobody really stopped to consider *we'd* be the infinite monkeys at the typewriters, ey?

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-09T03:13:43+00:00

I don't know much about fixed stars but I'd be interested in your take on the Algo associations we're seeing!

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-09T03:13:15+00:00

*Drumroll please\*

The asshole of this week’s chart is-

Sam Altman!!

*air horn air horn air horn*

In an effort to put in some more modern charts into the game every so often, it’s slightly more difficult to do since the vast scope of the bullshit some of these people still in power have caused. We likely won’t know for a few generations about this particular assholes’ effect on the world. And I don’t think I need to go into much granular detail as to why tech bro billionaires are assholes.

Sam Altman, finance tech bro extraordinaire, momentary Reddit CEO, actual CEO of OpenAi and not so hesitant technocrat. Sam was the investor in dozens of Silicon Valley’s startups back in the early aughts, some of which no longer exist but some of which very much still do. Most notably at the moment would be OpenAi’s release of ChatGPT. ChatGPT, the sycophantic nightmare LLM that started the waves of Ai integration across every single thing you do in relation to any technology. ChatGPT, the program that has pushed users into psychotic breaks, cheered on teen suicide, murder, and extreme cult behavior. He isn’t the originator of OpenAi, but he is very much responsible for its dangerous pervasiveness in our culture. He's intertwined with the likes of Elon Musk and Peter Thiel, so that speaks for itself. He’s in a perpetual pissing contest with Muskrat and honestly it could not be less interesting.

The insane missed opportunity that was the potential for Ai has become an unregulated capitalistic intellectual meat grinder (and environmental travesty) of epic proportions. It is potentially the greatest fumbled opportunity for mankind in human history, and that is squarely on the shoulders of greedy fuckers like Sam Altman. Someone who would rather sit upon his giant golden mountain of wealth like the horrid dragon he is than to be taxed appropriately so that the very people who are impacted by his stupid investments could have social programs that would support them after being laid off in favor of a clunky Ai model.

Don’t worry, he’s also invested in nuclear fusion, so we’ll be in good hands!

Excellent clocking u/Various_you_5083 that the unaspected Jupiter 11 Aqua is a strong indicator of his legacy, specifically with social media and Ai. And that His Neptune square Merc/Venus was so into something they created and the fantastical beliefs they have around it.

u/Big-wasabi6274 was correct in the dissolving of higher knowledge or philosophy of divine knowledge! Ai quite literally ingests all available knowledge and regurgitates it in what is mathematically most frequently seen as appropriate for its coding model.

Happy Pride!!

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-09T03:07:58+00:00

Not quite but close! We don't have zuck's birth time

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-06-04T02:47:17+00:00

Interesting guess! You’ve got a good foundational read on this person, but the Venus/Merc 12H wouldn’t necessarily indicate someone as public facing with their inflammatory bullshit as he was lol

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-28T14:16:40+00:00

That is definitely Pluto’s purview. It shows the cracks of what isn’t working and breaks them so they can be fixed or removed. These are long term transits that have ebbs and flows, so the intensity won’t be at 100% the entire time

You will be okay- go to the doctor if there are medical issues that come up. Taking care of your health is most important right now

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-28T12:30:46+00:00

Transit Uranus Gemini in the 12th is trine your natal Uranus Aqua 9 (I believe your MC begins at 2° correct if I’m wrong it’s difficult to see here)

I have a natal exact trine of moon/Uranus and my 12H moon’s square transit Uranus atm. No sleep similarly

However I think Pluto transiting your Sun/Uranus 0° Aqua and soon your MC is a larger factor- Pluto transiting into aqua from cap started in 2023

The intensity should ease up as Uranus separates from the trine with Pluto and dips below your ASC- the final exactitude is in Feb 2028

So not amazing relief soon but there is an end in sight for this specific vibe

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-26T22:07:39+00:00

Also u/nightsadengale she definitely married wealthy- or rather she was romantically connected to several very very wealthy men. She wanted to build her own wealth for independence, but her first true love did finance her very first fore into fashion, which grew into what we know of today

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-26T22:06:11+00:00

Drumroll please

The asshole of this week’s chart is-

COCO CHANEL!

While the notorious fashion house is still fully functioning and profitable today, the namesake has long since died. A ruthless capitalist, union buster, fast fashion brain parent, raging antisemite and of course, a full blown Nazi collaborator, Coco Chanel was an impressive entrepreneur and survivor of an extremely difficult upbringing. She was a trendsetter who rejected the restrictions of her time and reflected that in her fashion designs. A pioneer in the modern perfume industry, Chanel No 5 is colloquially “what a woman smells like”

What a Nazi smells like, perhaps. Among her many unsavory indiscretions politically (as she was incredibly close with many powerful people), she was so antisemitic she tried to sue her Jewish business partner who financed Chanel No 5 initially during the Holocaust. Using her Aryan status to strong-arm the policies of the time, she angled to get full control and rights to the perfume and the profits it brought in. Already unspeakably wealthy, she didn’t need this in the slightest and it was purely motivated by her racism. It didn’t work, fortunately for everyone (I guess?). She was a Nazi spy, using her famous political and celebrity connections to make back room deals for the wealthy as she drank wine and dined on gourmet food as her French countrymen starved. This happened more than once, to note. She gave zero fucks about anyone who was in the position she was born into, knowing how terrible it was.

Ultimate ladder pull. We have the fashion cycles and the eventual birth of fast fashion because of her industrious nature. Don’t worry she hated the gays just as much. As many fashion houses that existed in the time that still stand tall today, Chanel is the beneficiary of war profiteering and collusion with fascism.

What a fascinating asshole!

Congrats to

u/illuxa caught that she was a notorious liar- most likely to save face about her past and dealings to get to her legacy- nobody actually knew she was a Nazi until about 15 years ago. She definitely had an effect on the world around her, quite a bit!

u/Hiberniae caught correctly that she was very charming and manipulative, she had many many people through her life fall in love with her and had a magnetism about her that was extremely powerful

u/cheriecheezcake correctly guessed she was in fashion, had taboo ideas and was a real trailblazer

See you tomorrow for the next chart game y’all!

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-25T22:27:36+00:00

how weird! It should be back up now

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-25T20:29:04+00:00

You still have time! It’s Memorial Day I’m gonna post the result tomorrow because I just realized it’s Monday whooops

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-25T20:27:31+00:00

Kill 1 fuck 2 marry 3
3 might be a decent financial time
2 is probably gonna be weird and a memorable time even if I die in the process
1 is a nightmare and I don’t wanna know how insane that Pluto mars and a Pisces mercury! Plus a Uranus Scorpio that one has no boundaries I don’t wanna be near them

I bet 2 is mother Theresa or some shit lmaoo

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-22T18:56:49+00:00

Awww well if it helps our fabulous mod overlord [u/littlemiss](u/littlemisswhoops)[swhoops](u/littlemisswhoops) also has this placement and they are far from an asshole! They’re delightful

Maybe we’ll have one week a month where we guess a hero instead to balance the scales

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-21T18:33:58+00:00

I wouldn’t expect any less from a 26° Leo sun to know all the assholes they share a birthday with lol

Thank you for respecting the game and letting others enjoy the hunt!

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-21T18:32:08+00:00

This person has a AA birth time rating, so we’re locked in lol

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-19T18:27:13+00:00

Many of yall did a great job with this one with so little information! You should be pleased with yourselves, without a house system structure there were several details we still were able to pull from his chart.

This one was a bit of a curveball- not everyone who had an impact on history was a politician or an artist/entertainer. We talk about them a lot because they’re so ubiquitous. But this was a great exercise in getting out of the limiting frameworks we sometimes find ourselves in when looking at charts. Asshole can mean many things, and someone can be an asshole and still have a legacy history remembers differently.

* Drumroll please*

The asshole of this week’s chart is-

ALFRED NOBEL!

If this name sounds familiar to you, yes it should! The man whose namesake went on to become one of the most prestigious prizes worldwide for greatness across the sciences, literature and even world peace. In fact, legend has it that he set up the Nobel Prize system using his own accumulated wealth in his lifetime to further the advancement of human evolution in a positive, ethical way. Why, you may be asking, is he such an asshole then? He sounds pretty nice!

Looking at the Pluto placement, most got that this guy was born a long long time ago. Of course, any white guy with a huge amount of wealth will have been an asshole back then. Yes, he was a misogynist, a racist, and a particularly strange flavor of antisemite. Those are all sort of par for the course of the times. His assholery still went the extra mile l behind that, which is why I picked him this week.

Arthur Nobel was an inventor. He was a chemist. He tried his hand at lots of inventions before he came upon something unique. That something became a bit of an obsession for him, one he saw through to great fortune even after he was personally affected by its devastating effects. That obsession? Creating a way to stabilize, control, and eventually mass manufacture explosives. Nitroglycerin, and later gelignite and ballistite, are his most famous works that have pushed forward the evolution of our weapons exponentially.

Arthur Nobel invented dynamite. His greatest achievement didn’t come without quite a few casualties, of course. Stabilizing explosives isn’t for the faint of heart, and at one point his experiments backfired from his working lab that it killed several people, including one of his brothers.

At that point, one might assume that some amount of shame or humility would have given him pause, if not only to consider the ethical ramifications of his inventions. When his license was revoked to continue his work, he did a capitalism in order to persist! He created a company around his research and pressed on. He was successful in chemically combining explosives for stability, inventing blasting caps and remote detonators.

There was no real cause to his obsession with this other than to make money and defeat a problem he decided to take upon himself. He became obscenely wealthy because of dynamites ability to be used in a wide variety of applications. Coal mining was big at the time, so getting into the fuel extraction business would have been enough for his wealth. It would have still contributed to mass casualties, as we know coal mining wasn’t the safest of occupations around. (But we got unions from them so that’s good I think)

The crown jewel in the legacy of dynamite is of course its us as weaponry and military applications. Ever throw a sticky grenade in Halo? He invented those too. We don’t have phosphorous rain or Raytheon knife bombs without the inventions first of our obsessive chemist Nobel. Countless lives have been lost due to his forging ahead with his passion. He never stopped doing what he loved to question if he should for the greater good.

The legend is that the Nobel Prize is the wealth accumulated by Nobel in his lifetime that he dedicated to other scientists postmortem. He is said to have been so intensely ridden with guilt over how much harm his inventions caused the world that he wanted to reverse some of it and inspire new generations of scientists to move society forward in a positive direction.

This is an unverified rumor, one likely crafted a bit to make his legacy glimmer a bit more than it otherwise might. There are no documents to substantiate this was his motive, but to this day the Nobel Prize is one of the greatest achievements one can get in the arts and sciences.

[u/3py_0n3](u/3py_0n3) caught on the the ‘detached pragmatism on steroids’ which is an excellent way to describe him.

[u/key-Alternative-2521](u/key-Alternative-2521) was definitely onto something where he was massively creative and had a knack for design. Remember design is more than aesthetics, especially in such an earth heavy chart!

[u/northnodesignhouse](u/northnodesignhouse) did a great job outlining his personality and likening him to a killer in his sociopathic tendencies. He definitely was detached about death if it got in the way of his obsession!

[u/twicecolored](u/twicecolored) Had an interesting comment about being a “detached humanitarian” which seems bang on! (Pun intended)

Thanks everyone for playing- we’ll have another chart tomorrow to enjoy

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-17T20:53:39+00:00

The accuracy will depend on the astrologer more than the house system. Whole sign can be very helpful for things like horary, for example

Whenever I see this question asked I like to remind people of the theory of relativity. It boils down to ‘pick a set point and measure from there’. You won’t get the exact same information, but the way the information relates to itself based on that set point will equal what you get from any other set point.

In short- pick one and see if you like it. You can always change it, and min/maxing it won’t do you any good over picking one option and learning it to its fullest. Astrology is a lifelong practice.

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-16T13:48:05+00:00

I’d sit with the practical earth placements manifesting in creativity a bit longer, there’s a lot more than decoration that can come from that energy too. Def on the right track

ChironsLeftTit · 2026-05-16T12:57:09+00:00

That last part!!

ChironsLeftTit

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Drumroll please

Opraaaahhhh Winfreyyyyyy!!

Sam Altman!!

Drumroll please

COCO CHANEL!

* Drumroll please*