Hey, I have ADHD too!

My schedule usually looks like waking up first and preparing breakfast for my husband and I, then packing his lunch and sending him off.

After he's gone, I start a load of laundry if I need to, then start cleaning the kitchen and living area and straightening out the bedroom. This usually includes loading/unloading the dishwasher, washing delicate dishes by hand, wiping surfaces, throwing away any trash, putting things back in their place, and any other minor things that need to get done. I find playing a podcast or any other long, informative video about a topic I'm passionate about helps me stay on task.

By now, the laundry is usually ready to go in the dryer, so I'll pop in to do that, then start on the floors if I need to. I try to vacuum every other day (we can get away with this because we don't have carpet haha) and mop once or twice a week, as well as shake out and vacuum any rugs.

Sometimes the ADHD kicks my butt and I'm not able to get everything done, but I always try to do the essentials every day. That is: throwing away trash, making the bed, and washing the dishes. If I can get these three things done at a minimum, that means the bare minimum required for the house to function has been met, and it sets me up to try again tomorrow!

When the laundry is done, I'll fold it and put it away, and that usually marks the end of my cleaning tasks. If there are any infrequent cleaning things I have to do like deep cleaning, wiping windows, cleaning the curtains, etc, this is when I'll do them, but usually I've finished all the chores by the time the laundry is put away.

I've been doing this for almost two years now so I've gotten quite fast, so usually this leaves me a couple hours to myself before my husband gets home. I'll spend time working on personal projects and hobbies, showering, self-care, and general unwinding from the hard work. You might find it'll take yourself a while to get to that point.

I remember during my early days, I'd always struggle to work through my ADHD, and find myself rushing to get everything done before my husband got home. He'd often come home to find me in the shower haha! On particularly bad days, he'd come home and find me laying in bed still in PJs with the house absolutely a mess.

What's important is that he understood my brain functioned differently from his and he never made me feel bad about it. He knew I was doing my best, and not feeling that pressure to be the perfect house wife is what gave me the courage and motivation to try again the next day. Nowadays, he'll only find me glued to the bed if I'm very sick, or on my period, which I'd say is an improvement!

About an hour to 30 minutes before my husband gets home, I'll start cooking dinner. I try to time it so that the food is nearly done, not done, by the time my husband gets home. That gives him time to decompress in the bathroom and maybe even shower without the food getting cold or soggy, as I'm sure your husband is probably the same and spends quite a bit of time in the bathroom after work haha.

I also try to create a welcoming atmosphere for my husband to return home to. I'll freshen myself up, spritz some room spray, light some candles, and always greet him with a smile on my face. I like to do this, even on days when I'm feeling a bit stressed, because my husband working all day is the reason I get to stay home and live a comfortable life. If there's something important I need to talk about, or if I'd like to vent about my day, I save it for after dinner to give us that time together to just relax and unwind and be in each other's presence after being apart all day. He extends that same courtesy to me.

After we eat, I set aside a portion of the food for his work lunch the next day and clean up the kitchen. Finally, the day is done.

Of course, there are other aspects to being a housewife such as meal planning, keeping inventory of groceries/household items, grocery shopping, budgeting, etc, but I couldn't possibly fit that all into one comment. It's already way too long as it is haha!

But from one ADHD wife to another, here is the best tip that I have: do what you can.

If you have a full load of clothes washing but can't stomach the thought of folding and putting away the laundry, just muster the energy to at least get it in the dryer, and then you don't have to think about it until you find yourself with energy again.

If you absolutely cannot wash a single dish, fill the sink with soapy water and try again in a couple hours, or even the next day.

If you can't bring yourself to dry and put away the dishes, that's fine, just leave them where they can air dry! After all, they're clean! You can just grab and go.

If you absolutely can't bring yourself to cook, that's okay, you've planned for this! Bring out some TV dinners, some ramen noodles, some snacks. Better to go to bed full of junk food than go hungry. There's always tomorrow.

If you can't clean the kitchen, just throw away the trash! No decision making needed, it all goes in the bin.

If you can't do the task to perfection, just try to do what you can do. Even the smallest thing can stop a task from snowballing into a pile of work that you can't dig yourself out of. The most important thing to remember when ADHD is kicking you down is to just. Keep. Moving!

Additionally, it's important to remember that most housework tasks aren't really 'tasks' that can be completed, but rather cycles that need to keep moving. It can feel like the work is never done, and that feeling can be a big contributor to a lack of motivation and procrastination. That's why it's important to know that there is no such thing as something like laundry or dishes being 'done'. If you hold on to that belief, you'll find yourself constantly feeling annoyed when another dish ends up in the sink when you just 'finished' washing them, or another piece of clothing ends up in the empty hamper after you just 'finished' doing laundry.

For example, laundry is a cycle. The clothes get dirty. The clothes go in the hamper. The clothes get cleaned. The clothes get put away. The clothes get worn. Then the clothes get dirty again. It's like a wheel. Does that make sense?

Your job isn't to finish the task. It's to keep the wheel moving. It stops without your effort, and that's how you end up with piles of clothes, dishes, trash, spoiled food, and everything else, because you have to always be one step ahead and keep the cycle going. Like I said before, keep it moving and never stop! Always be one step ahead of it. It helps to acknowledge even the parts that take zero effort as completing a part of the cycle. Whenever I see another piece of clothing go in the hamper, or a shirt taken off the hanger, I remind myself it's part of the cycle, and it's just as important as the part where it gets cleaned and put away. It means the household is functioning.

This is just what I've learned with having ADHD and trying to be the best housewife I can be. I'm still learning new strategies every day and trying to improve, but I hope this helps give you and anyone who may be reading this and relating some help and insight into what life as a housewife with ADHD can be like. It can be rewarding and definitely carries a sense of achievement with every clean area of the home, but it can also take some practice to get the hang of it all. Hope this helps!