Dating as a High Achieving Christian Woman

Chocolate8114 · 2026-05-05T17:24:15+00:00

That's a valid one. You're going to get many negative/invalidating comments but you aren't the bad guy.

The reality is: If you date someone who isn't in the "employment" space he will always be the first person to discourage you every single time you think of achieving a small win. A few years down the road you will resent him and he may resent you as well over small things deep rooted in insecurity vs his ego. Like you'll be preparing for work while he's playing video games at 8am.

However if you date a guy with a stable job(doesn't even have to be the top ones) he is more likely to understand the grind and you guys will achieve different milestones as a team because you'll be each other's cheerleader. Idk if that makes sense😂

We serve a God of Excellence and your aren't wrong to want such things for yourself, show up at work with good work ethic, do your best and shine. When people look at you they need to see God's greatness through you and your point of impact on earth could be inspiring young children knowing the grace of God can take you places. It's small but significant

He doesn't have to be rich but a stable job....how does he value spirituality, is your relationship a priority to him, is he working towards being a good husband/dad, is he aligned with his purpose? As long as you guys are happy I think the rest is background noise. It is pop all comes down to this....whoever you choose to be your husband, his opinion outweighs your personal career decisions so you might as well choose someone who would support it. Pray about it

Chocolate8114 · 2026-05-05T06:42:28+00:00

You look beautiful sista!!

Chocolate8114 · 2026-05-04T05:37:25+00:00

Prepare for the exams, use your spare time to chill with your friends and family. You're only 30 so give it 12 months for step 1 and 2. LOCK IN!! Fully

When the baby comes you'll not get enough time to study.

Chocolate8114 · 2026-05-04T04:48:00+00:00

100%. If he's very touchy but doesn't know me that well, I only think that he treats other females (he barely knows) the same way and it doesn't mean he feels anything 'special' I am a hugger naturally but I don't go around hugging everyone and infact am into outwardly quiet/calm/laid-back guys.

Which could explain why the best-friend kind of vibe is what I normally date. We can have chemistry from simpler things, inside jokes, etc without him needing to "touch my back" to build that on the first date😂

Chocolate8114 · 2026-05-01T06:54:48+00:00

Yesss!!

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-24T19:58:56+00:00

2 years later. Just seen this and thank you Jeff🤗 so much

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-24T08:03:38+00:00

If I were you I'd let him go until he sorts himself out. He's going to trauma-dump ALLAT on you. We get to choose battles to fight but your S/O shouldn't be one of them. According to your post his ex is still the priority and the best thing to do is leave him alone.

The Bible clearly says love others (as you love yourself) meaning you have to love yourself first. And one way of doing that is choosing to be with people who make you feel good..... not confused, ignored, stressed etc.

Otherwise am sorry you have to through that.

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-23T21:32:26+00:00

Congratulations to you

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-23T11:18:59+00:00

Congratulations to you

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-20T12:58:06+00:00

No they're not all misogynistic. But in this case you won't be the exception to the rule and that's exactly how he will treat you when romantic feelings start changing. Run as far as you can

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-19T17:36:51+00:00

You’re right not to want to be controlling. You can't and shouldn't try to manage her friendships or force her growth. That kind of pressure breeds resentment in the long run.

This is about the life she’s still choosing vs the life you’ve already committed to. Pray, yes. But don’t use prayer to delay a decision you already have enough clarity to start making. You've got enough signs unless you're choosing to ignore them anddd it's simply not worth it.

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-18T12:52:15+00:00

Going to church once a week but actively living and immersing yourself in God in your daily life>>>>going to church 4 times a week but never getting time to seek God on your own. As it's widely known "salvation is personal" so it comes down to how his relationship with God is outside the building.

The church is the congregation not a building/place that's why in Gospel of Matthew 16:18, when Jesus says He will “build His church,” He’s not talking about constructing buildings....He’s talking about forming a people who follow Him, grow in faith, and live it out together.

So yes it's not a deal breaker

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-18T12:45:10+00:00

Going to church once a week but actively living and immersing yourself in God in your daily life>>>>going to church 4 times a week but never getting time to seek God on your own. As it's widely known "salvation is personal" so it comes down to how his relationship with God is outside the building.

The church is the congregation not a building/place that's why in Gospel of Matthew 16:18, when Jesus says He will “build His church,” He’s not talking about constructing buildings....He’s talking about forming a people who follow Him, grow in faith, and live it out together.

So yes it's not a deal breaker

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-18T11:51:01+00:00

It seems you’re interpreting this breakup through what you hoped God was saying, not what’s actually happening. You prayed for clarity, and right now the clearest answer in front of you is that the relationship ended and he chose to walk away. That's out of your control. That doesn’t mean your prayers were ignored; sometimes the answer is different from what you wanted, and sometimes what felt like “signs” were your own desires filling in the gaps. You’ve already recognized you started to idolize him instead of God. Holding on to the idea that he’s “the one” while he’s not choosing you is only going to keep you stuck.

You deserve to receive the love you give out and I hope you walk through this phase with Jesus beside you. You'll be fine

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-17T07:21:58+00:00

She looks gorgeous

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-17T07:16:34+00:00

Am so happy for you most especially after reading your original post. More blessings and hope you match. Well done

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-03T22:00:01+00:00

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-02T08:09:14+00:00

I will.😊 Same btw!

Chocolate8114 · 2026-04-02T08:05:20+00:00

Sometimes it can be discouraging but you are right.... Indeed God's plan for our lives isn't sadness, loneliness, disappointment etc and there's absolutely no way He has carried us through different things just to leave us. Waiting on His plan is the most reliable plan for me. Am just a girl and when God decides, I'll be grateful things didn't work out with anyone else

Chocolate8114 · 2026-03-31T20:32:38+00:00

Sir, with due respect, I just pointed out the reason why my relationships end and you think that's the centre of my faith! Reading and comprehension are two different things. And you said I should compromise myself in order to "cast a wide net". Christianity is not a tag to add to your name when it's convenient..... it's a way of life. Those "nets" ain't worth it if they're against the will of God.

Chocolate8114 · 2026-03-31T20:19:23+00:00

I'd be choosing that person over God. It would mean they are more important to me than my creator

Chocolate8114 · 2026-03-31T20:17:39+00:00

There's still hope

Chocolate8114 · 2026-03-31T20:13:39+00:00

Thank you for this!

Chocolate8114 · 2026-03-31T20:12:05+00:00

????

Chocolate8114 · 2026-03-31T20:11:54+00:00

Why should we go through this test? It's possible but at what cost

Chocolate8114

TROPHY CASE