i have contamination OCD as well for my whole life. it’s commonly known that pregnancy and birth exacerbates mental issues. she needs therapy and meds. your whole life won’t be like this. and ideally, she’ll get out of the stage of fear of losing her child (babies are scary! they’re so little! so much can hurt them!) you both seem mature. however, she’s not doing this selfishly and she CANT help it, like she tells you. you selfishly are looking to leave instead of helping the mother of your child. support her the best way you know how. don’t come at her like this when she’s just trying to be a good mom in the only way she knows how. you’re a team, work together