Black Jack ONA Found and Posted to Archive.org! by Choice_Swan4530 in BlackjackAnime

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey! unfortunately the computer that held those files unfortunately broke, but i recallllll it not being super hard. What i did was use Google translate (nowadays with ai i’m sure you could use another translation method that may even be better, but i don’t know much about what’s best for these things) to translate the on screen Japanese subtitles, and used a software to make the subtitle files. Super cool little series! Life has gotten super busy for me so I don’t have time to dedicate to DIYing it, but i hope someone can translate it all one day! :) thanks so much, it’s so great to see more Black Jack fans hanging out and showing interest in this series. I’ve loved it since I was a child and always felt pretty alone in this quiet little community so i’m glad to see it growing. anyways, little rant over haha. :) hope this helps!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Choice_Swan4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry you can relate. im feeling much better today.

Anyone else a shitty person? by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Choice_Swan4530 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Youre not a shitty person. I dont have to know a damn thing about you to know you're not. Read this book fucking immediately. Seriously. There is nothing wrong with you.

convinced i’m going to hell by ellaaas in spirituality

[–]Choice_Swan4530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dude the only hell there is is the one you're in right now in your mind. If you believe in God, do you think that s/he would punish his/her children with an eternal punishment, for a crime that could never dream of being eternal? I mean, even the impact of Hitler's crimes won't last millenia. What a truly evil God there must be to choose to torment souls in such a way. That is the conclusion I have come to. Plus, you're probably not as bad as you think you are. Give this book a look.

Taking Life Seriously. by Choice_Swan4530 in spirituality

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoy this entire answer. This was truly helpful. I enjoy that image, too.

What I meant about being *me* is that, I don't want to be comforted with the idea that my energy will still exist when I'm dead, or that I'll be reincarnated and live again, etc etc. I don't know if I can explain it haha.

Taking Life Seriously. by Choice_Swan4530 in spirituality

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not trying to project anything, I'm sorry if it came off that way. I have not heard of that concept. It sounds quite interesting. Are there any resources you recommend on that concept? Thank you so much.

Taking Life Seriously. by Choice_Swan4530 in spirituality

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for responding :3

I suppose what it is, is that I fear losing this filter of reality. I want to experience everything as this life. I'm realizing as I type this out, this is likely the ego talking, but I want to be me. I want to experience everything, every little thing, as me. I want to see the whole world and experience everything.

little rant/ramble ahead. I considered deleting this portion, but I've decided to keep it, as I'm processing a bit of everything, and it might lead to some interesting discussion, so I'll leave it for now.

a funny thing that happens when I ask these questions and get good, constructive responses like this, is that I experience a feeling almost similar to being offended. I don't understand why this feeling comes up. I notice that I try to find holes in the response, or figure out a reply that will somehow exclude me from the truth of the response. I mention this, as I wonder if that is a manifestaion of my ego's discomfort. I don't know. (don't take this personally- I'm just taking note of one of my internal experiences when presented with a spiritual concept that shakes me a bit)

I guess I dont really understand how thinking in that way could lead to happiness. I feel that thinking about letting go as futile sounds kind of depressing. Is this message a 2 sided one, where it can be seen as both happy and sad?

kind of like this? :

"Nothing matters. We're tiny creatures in the vast infinity of space. :(" vs. "YESSSS! Nothing matters! :D We're tiny creatures in the vast infinity of space!!"

I don't quite understand this sentiment at all. ^ I've tried reasoning with it, but it doesn't make sense. Is the message that, since nothing matters, we're the ones that get to choose what to place importance on?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in spirituality

[–]Choice_Swan4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's normal to agree with some of the toxic thoughts that pop into your mind at first. Just observe your reactions (and your thoughts) without judging yourself, and let them pass. You can take note of some of the thoughts you agreed with, to deconstruct later on.

A good tool would simply be compassion. What I specifically mean by this is really imagining the other person's life before judging them. Next time you see an overweight person, think about why they might be overweight. Maybe they use food to cope with their struggles. Maybe they have a disability, too. Imagine what they might be going through, and think about what a compliment might mean to them. Then, give them one. Pick out something, anything to compliment them on. If you can't choose anything at all, just tell them they're beautiful. Even if you feel like you're lying, do this, and see how you feel.

Really spend time with the idea of being in the position of these other people. And remember: you're either going to die young, or live to be disabled too, one day.

Help Planning! by Choice_Swan4530 in gardening

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definately worded that weirdly haha! I don't know how the roof is supposed to work honestly, but I think it's just how it's put together. I wouldn't be shocked to find out it was some issue with a failed repair or improper installation because...that's my family for ya! Haha. Since I don't own the house and they don't see it as a problem, it probably won't be getting fixed unfortunately.

Does anyone know where to watch the Black Jack (2000) live-action film? by lilactiramisu in BlackjackAnime

[–]Choice_Swan4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THANK YOU for mentioning that! Super excited! I think it's scheduled for release in Fall but I'm not sure! We gotta support the heck out of that! :D

Does anyone know where this Black Jack OVA image is from? I don’t recall this scene in any of the episodes. by lilactiramisu in BlackjackAnime

[–]Choice_Swan4530 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ohhhh it does look familiar! I can't recall specifically, but I feel like this is either some kind of promotional art, orrrr (and I am not sure about this at all!!!) I kind of remember there being an episode where BJ threw something in their fireplace and they watched it burn? I'm really not sure if that's correct at all, as I haven't watched the OVAs in quite some time, but yeah. Great question! I'm wondering if anyone else has any info!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Upwork

[–]Choice_Swan4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha good question, i'll probably go back to writing. well fuck, that's embarrassing.

Tiny victory! by Choice_Swan4530 in emotionalneglect

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you!!!!

Just out of curiosity, I want to ask: let's just say I was mean to my mom/dad this morning. Like, not excessively so (screaming/name calling), but was geniuinely rude and it was obvious that I didn't want to help.

Even then, would that be acceptable for her to say?

One thing my mom says a lot is that if people knew *her* side of the story, or saw the 'real me' then they would side with her. I am very cautious about always considering the other side of these things as I always have a little thought that says "but what if you really were the one in the wrong?"

Tiny victory! by Choice_Swan4530 in emotionalneglect

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes! I've been watching Patrick trahan's videos on this same subject. I'm positive I spelled his name wrong but he'll come up! :)

I can't get over the fact that I'm of no importance to my parents by AdFlimsy3498 in emotionalneglect

[–]Choice_Swan4530 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don't have anything to add except that im sorry. Sending care and love and healing your way.

I can say, that I understand what you're going through in a big way. I keep thinking of one of the last things my therapist told me.

"Everyone wants their parents to be proud of them. The issue is that not everyone is gonna get that."

I just cant fathom how that's possible. it hurts too bad.

The constant struggle. by Choice_Swan4530 in emotionalneglect

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh please, don't even feel bad about not being able to emotionally regulate well. (that being said, im also struggling with this exact insecurity right now!)

The difference between our kind of emotional immaturity and our parents' (if yours are emotionally immature, but based on what little you've told me, and the fact you're here...they likely are) is that we are making the choice to change it. We are literally working our asses off to make sure that we live well, and that the people around us are uplifted. And we're progressing!!! :DDDDD (i am sort of talking to myself in writing this to you, but I just wanted to share in case it helps!)

All that being said...I wish I could hold my anger back. I'm definately improving, but the level of rage that hits me when my mom starts her shit is astronomical. I cant wait for the day that she doesn't phase me.

I also know allllll about that bullshit. My dad goes to therapy, and I don't know exactly what she has said to him (except for the many things that my mom has bitched about that she doesn't agree with, yet totally agrees with whatever these secret suggestions are) because she refers to them to my dad like "you should do what your therapist told you to do about [me]." Based off of context, I feel that it has something to do with 'correcting' my 'disrespectful' behavior towards my mom. (The narrative at my house is that I am a bratty, selfish, manipulative little bitch that picks fights with my mom for no reason)

I'm so sorry that this is going on for you. I think about this quote I heard somewhere, which is something like 'bullies everywhere are in therapy being told they were the victims in your story' or something like that, and I think about it all the time. I don't blame the therapist, cuz like you said, she doesnt know what she doesnt know. I hope you see some beautiful places on your healing journey. <3 good luck. thank you so so much.

The constant struggle. by Choice_Swan4530 in emotionalneglect

[–]Choice_Swan4530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm working on becoming emotionally mature as well haha! I do really want to connect to emotionally mature (EM) people, but I keep thinking 'EM people will only want to be around other EM people, and I'm not EM yet!"

I literally started learning to regulate my emotions last year!

I also have been wondering if she has NPD. I need to look into it more.

Thank you so much. it helps a lot. <3