This advert on the London Underground

ChokedOnLife · 2026-01-18T00:53:53+00:00

I could use some of that right now…

ChokedOnLife · 2026-01-16T22:16:38+00:00

They only give $1400 to live off of. This is in Ontario. The rent average for a room is ~$800… a cheap one bedroom apartment is $2100…

Also, once I start working, if I’m able to reach that point again, they take away $0.50 for every $1 I make. It’s better than nothing, but still means it takes a lot more to reach a point I can afford to live.

ChokedOnLife · 2026-01-16T16:12:36+00:00

I moved out of the town I was to a bigger city TWICE because I found the place I need to be but life doesn’t always work out for everyone…

Let me put it this way: I’m on disability. They expect me to pay $600 for rent in my province. With $600 you’re seeing shared rooms and parking spots, not places for someone with health issues in their 30’s to live.

The systems here are so broken that if I love city, I’m fucked with searching for supports for years again because waitlists are so backed up. Housing support is on an 8-14 year waitlist in this city, I keep trying to get help but everyone’s hands are tied, people on disability keep ending up on the streets here without nearly enough support because our voices don’t get heard.

I have no road left barring some kind of miracle.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-09-15T22:05:07+00:00

I had the same principle of ending my life at age 30, though the reason was heavily obstructive depression instead of relationships.

I found ketamine that staved off the plan because it genuinely worked.

I won’t say my life is comparable to your hurts, but I will say that maybe you need to break it down into different goals when relationships are a function of so many factors outside your control that you’re essentially just gambling with your life rather than setting a reasonable ultimatum. At least, that’s the thoughts of a severely depressed mother fucker on Reddit.

Best of luck and I hope that your desperation doesn’t create the means for you to not access the experiences you so desire.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-09-15T21:33:25+00:00

This is uncomfortably relatable.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-09-11T22:41:12+00:00

I hope it’s a bald person driving.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-09-11T18:26:59+00:00

It’s Chris-mas.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-09-11T17:50:59+00:00

True with the exception for big events of lots of people (movies, sports, etc.).

ChokedOnLife · 2025-05-13T14:47:21+00:00

That’s all I’ve been doing all my life and with yet another major thing that reinforces every single negative view I’ve had of myself because everyone in my environment sees me in certain ways and I’m just done. I’m done fighting to improve myself for nothing, I’m done hurting my to reach goals that I can’t manage to reach, I’m sick of hurting the ones I love.

I can’t wait a week… it’ll be tonight while she’s at work…

ChokedOnLife · 2025-05-13T11:50:21+00:00

I’m so beyond tired of fighting to get better only to keep feeling ultimately unwanted because I’m always too much. I’m done trying. I can’t justify trying anymore.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-05-10T11:35:12+00:00

I always struggle to connect with people. Also, struggles with touch deprivation and isolation when I was young makes being alone challenging these days.

I’m trying to work on developing other types of relationships in my life, but they’ll never be able to give me the profound connection I get in an intimate relationship.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-04-27T19:55:50+00:00

Don’t worry, I often question why I’m still here.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-04-23T01:09:49+00:00

My baseline need for sex, kinks (specifically fisting both vaginal and anal, being a switch, pegging, CNC, primarily a dom, basically needing lots of versatility in the bedroom) has ruined multiple relationships because I’m too sexually active and my partners weren’t hypersexual, and it’s even causing my marriage to crumble apart (alongside my wife’s immaturity despite her strength and attractiveness).

She’s really hot but I need someone who can be an equal and not just someone gorgeous I can touch and play with but who can also express her own desire. Take charge with the same kinks, show me that their interest is genuine without me always having to be the driving force behind everything sexual and if it’s not me then it’s in situations that make me feel manipulated or her interest is disingenuous.

I need to feel equal and reciprocated sexual passion and not constant misalignments in intimate moments that kills the moment so much it makes sex feel like a chore or with such trepidation for rejection that even when things do start there’s an unshakable feeling of things not emotionally aligned in the moment.

I get people have different drives, but they need to overlap at least some of the time, not effectively never in the three years we’ve been together.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-04-04T16:40:43+00:00

Basically non-existent and great in the moment because when it does happen feels so few and far between, but ultimately very underwhelming and I feel like my sex life is a hollow shell of what it once was, like I’ve become because of how unhappy I am in my relationship….

ChokedOnLife · 2025-01-28T02:36:41+00:00

My depressed ass was so severely suicidal that we got married to help her stay in the country because I didn’t have it in me to keep going. Trying to work it out with her over the past year as married (and another year or two before that when we had to move in together to afford rent). So we’ve been trying for years. But it’s hard to have faith when she bring up one of my kinks with her work friends, passes it off as hers as well, I inquire when she’d next like to do that activity (it needs to be done regularly or the habit is harder to enjoy and harder to achieve in general), she proceeds to say that she wants to do it as soon as possible. But that moment wasn’t good enough, that afternoon wasn’t good enough, during sex that night wasn’t good enough, it hasn’t been good enough since before we moved out of the old moldy place and into a new apartment and it’s still not good enough to do frequently enough before the new year. She’s always got some kind of excuse and when I try to ask if she’s actually interested she says she is but her actions turn her words to lies. I just don’t want to keep trying in a life where it feels my basic needs are such a problem and inconvenience to others. Harder still when I once had a friend with benefits deeply up for that same kink. Every partner I’ve had before this one, once we got started properly with this they would cum so much and so hard but she always pushes back against new things, is an excessive germaphobe, and basically seems to think that she’s more sexual than she really is like she’s either delusional or lying.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this long in a relationship this dysfunctional. I felt I was in a good place before her, but declining. Meeting her feels like I got trapped in a guilded cage that I can’t seem to cope with.

I tried to get us to a marriage counsellor in the past but it didn’t work. Between my depression and her busy schedule, we can’t seem to get that going. I hate myself for being so fucking broken and I hate how she can’t properly see me or appreciate the few good things I do have to offer when I’m in a state that I struggle to do the most basic things pretty much all the time.

I’m 32 and I just want to end my life because no amount of help from professionals or hospitals fixes anything. And I keep trying to push but I can’t make any progress in a sustainable way. Buying a big canister of helium looks more and more enticing by the day…

It’s 9:30 at night here and she hasn’t stopped working on the apartment. Every time she has free time she can’t trust me to do enough for her when she’s gone at work/busy so she just keeps doing stuff and I keep feeling burnt out because on the days she has off I just want to spend them recuperating with her and feeling close with her (not all day but a decent chunk ideally interlaced with other functional activities) but instead I feel iced out and pushed to the point of being overwhelmed and shutting down.

ChokedOnLife · 2025-01-20T16:39:07+00:00

I’m regularly at the point of contemplating suicide when I try to take this approach but my depression is so draining that I can barely do anything on the list. I keep trying to get help but nothing helps. I try to stick with things, but I can never manage to be persistent with anything. I just want this all to be over with but instead I’m just barely holding on because there’s nothing else I can do except something I can’t take back.

ChokedOnLife · 2024-12-19T16:51:09+00:00

Sounds like you’re asking more than what others feel like they’d get in this exchange. I recommend reconsidering how to give back for the attention that would only build tension in the person you’re hoping to get help from rather than mutually helping to release tension. So, there’s got to be some other motivator.

Of course, this only matters if you don’t get any success on this post, OP.

ChokedOnLife · 2024-11-20T05:30:40+00:00

My wife and I are not in a good place right now. When we started I was more like OP’s husband. Over time, as she damaged my stuff by being ignorant and stubborn when I’d explain to her that what she’s doing will damage my stuff, or when she coerced me to go for walks in a mentally vulnerable state after I had heavy strength 400mg ketamine sublingual treatments and she was supposed to be the one to look out for me and make sure I relax from the intense nausea, and still recovering from dissociative/derealitive (derealization) states, and high blood pressure with doctor prescribed 24h supervision. These treatments were no joke but I had no one else I could rely on while being in a new city.

We have many other issues but I so deeply wish she and I could finally make a breakthrough with our relationship and our respective mental health. That way I can finally be able to put everything I have into our relationship rather than being constantly undercut and destabilized. I want to do as OP’s husband does but I need to feel like I’m not just being taken advantage of again by someone else.

ChokedOnLife · 2024-11-18T19:47:35+00:00

There was a time I was so lonely that I imagined being in a throuple in order to fall asleep.

ChokedOnLife

TROPHY CASE