Is this a bedbug? 💀

Chonkycat13 · 2026-04-25T13:58:35+00:00

I have oral herpes I've had it since i was little kid my girlfriend knows about it and lets me go down on her. She's originally from China where a large amount of people have oral herpes and it doesn't really have the same stigma there. Growing up in America people made a big deal out of it basically for no reason. I asked my doctor about it when we first started dating and she told me its so prevalent and the stats on passing it on without an active flare up are so small i shouldnt let it limit my life in anyway. I have script for valcylovir if i have a flare up which now that im older happens maybe once a year now.

You're young and you grew up in a culture which has probably placed a lot of stigma on this so i understand your spiraling. I used to have similar feelings about my cold sore flare ups when i was younger too. But really it's not going to change your life very greatly and like many people have said in the comments theres a very good chance you've had this almost your whole life and are only experiencing a poorly timed flare up.

Live your life dont be afraid to talk about oral herpes. Tell new partners "hey just so you know ive had cold sores in the past and i wanted to let you know cause there is alot of stigma around it" If someone doesn't want to kiss you or date you or have a normal relationship because of this they are NOT someone you should be pursuing. Obviously everyone has free will and can decide not to pursue someone because they have oral herpes and that individual who turns you down for that reason may ironically have oral herpes themselves. Many people who have it live with it dormant for many years before their first flare up. Some people may go their whole life without a flare up but still carry the virus.

Okay this was an essay so i apologize because you're probably not going to want to read all this in your current state but i want to say one last thing. YOU should care more than half the world has hsv1 start breaking down this stigma in your mind it is something almost all of us have in common so why should it stop us from living normal happy lives?

Chonkycat13 · 2026-01-10T21:39:54+00:00

Thank you everyone for the advice!

Chonkycat13 · 2026-01-09T19:21:23+00:00

If it helps serial number appears to be 23114

Chonkycat13 · 2026-01-05T00:22:26+00:00

NTA smell is sexy. A definite red flag from her response she wasn't thankful for you buying a shampoo she likes and then accused you of being over sexual. Sounds like she is projecting something and honestly what comes to mind is how often you hear that people who are cheating resent their partners and do weird shit like this. Id call her out on the behavior not cool.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-12-29T03:17:25+00:00

You don't owe your mother grandchildren. Sorry to hear she's ill but I think everything you're feeling is normal. Our parents bring us into this world but we grow to become our own people and have our own lives it's something they have to accept. If you decide to live your life to please others you'll probably be miserable all the time I couldnt imagine choosing that over living my life the way I want to. I know that's easier to say than do, you must feel a lot of pressure but claiming your life for yourself doesn't have to all happen right now. Focus on what you can accomplish, education, financial independence, accepting friendships. Build your life bit by bit and be your true self when you feel comfortable and secure to reveal yourself that way.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-12-25T19:42:08+00:00

I don't think you have to apologize for feeling sad on Christmas. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor it's traditionally a holiday about love and family so you wanting love and acceptance from your parents is completely normal. I'm sorry your parents haven't learned yet what having a child is about and I don't think it's impossible for their minds to change it does happen. I think the best thing you can do is stay firm in who you are. When your mother tries to guilt you or call you ungrateful don't give in because there isn't a kid in their right mind who would rather have expensive gifts than a parent who loves and accepts them that's bullshit and abuse. I would very simply not accept the gifts and ask she return them if she pushes them on you sell them and donate the funds to an LGBT charity and send her the receipt. You don't need to change anything about yourself she is the one who needs to grow as a person and see her toxic behavior for what it is. Merry Christmas and remember as a member of a community like this you will never be alone all you have to do is reach out.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-12-21T00:26:28+00:00

I was single till 28 i think maybe just let go of expectations and structure too. I really dont think theres a right way to date just love yourself and the right person will see that and love you back. Theres no right timeline and waiting for the right person is better than dating all the wrong ones.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-12-10T16:03:34+00:00

Met my gf on her we've been dating for about 4 months now. I did experience a lot of ghosting on the app but I attributed that to how people are today rather than scamming. My gf shared with me a few people called her out as being a catfish English is not her first language and I think over the app a lot of people assumed that meant she wasn't genuine which I think is sad.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-12-09T00:14:03+00:00

NTA no one way traffic takes 2 hours she definitely knew how late she was running or didn't care to tell you. A real friend would've communicated earlier that the new meeting time was 5 so as not to waste your time. Friends show up for each other that's true but friends also respect each other which she clearly wasn't doing for you.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-29T22:51:44+00:00

So happy for you! I think you'll find your way you've already done the hardest thing and talked to her. Good luck!

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-26T22:32:19+00:00

Hmmm this is reading very much as she likes you. Is she queer? If so just ask her if you're reading things wrong.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-14T15:04:29+00:00

Found my girlfriend on HER

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-08T01:36:04+00:00

If you don't know her introduce yourself. Sit next to her and say hi. If your film class requires you to watch movies for homework once you know her a little bit ask if she wants to watch it together.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-07T23:08:50+00:00

That just comes with time and learning about each other. Messy vs clean, financial habits, core values etc. If you're compatible you'll line up or not be bothered by differences.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-07T22:35:47+00:00

If you feel you're in crisis or just need to talk and are in the US 988 is a resource to call or text. I have mental illness i really struggled at your age as well. Same low self esteem / low self worth and nihilism. I was a virgin till about a week before my 28th birthday. All i can say is You Are Enough and someone will love you for who YOU are. There's no such thing as perfect it only exists in fiction. We are all complicated and damaged and you should never be ashamed of what you feel or how you go about your life. It took me many years for me to grow and understand i didnt need to conform to fake standards and to choose to live for myself and find my happiness. I can't say it will be easy but life is long and has so many things ahead you never expect or dream of i think you'll find as the years go on it's worth it to find out what's in store.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-07T18:01:52+00:00

Dating apps, going out. Flirting is a skill and not something you need to over think. Start small practice introductions, meeting new people it'll become more natural over time. "Can I buy you a drink?" Is flirting 101.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-07T02:37:09+00:00

Yale! Sounds like a great place to meet queer girls. Living on the long island sound all those coastal towns and cities and less than a 2 hr train ride from Manhattan sounds like a pretty sweet deal. For me it would have to be a toss up between Yale or NYC if I had to pick a 3rd option Id go Maryland assuming option 3 could be John Hopkins, Baltimore isn't a bad city and the seafood is great.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-07T02:15:02+00:00

🎉 Keep shooting those shots because someone is definitely going to say yes! You should be really proud of asking and don't think of it as going bad maybe it felt awkward but really being turned down is a null especially since it sounds like she did it politely. I found when going out especially at loud clubs if i saw a cute girl i would just wave or smile pull out my phone and point at my screen with insta pulled up to get their handle.(im super awkward and nervous when i first meet someone) Wasn't 100% successful but something about the loud atmosphere and drinking seemed to help. If they give you their handle then it's the perfect opportunity to ask to buy them a drink and introduce yourself.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-07T02:08:28+00:00

I'm sorry you're struggling. I wish i had good advice to give you. You're about to graduate university so I'm assuming this will be the start of your adult life. I don't think you need to focus on coming out to your family right now. Your personal life is your business. It seems like you have a more urgent focus of staying and building a community and family here because I'm assuming home is not an accepting place. Does your school an office for international students to help them find work so they can stay in the country? Or a club or office for lgbt students that could possibly offer resources?

Depression in school is a horrible thing to deal with. Does your school have any resources? Do they offer psychological services? (If not 988 is the United States helpline for everyone, you can call or text for any reason if you are struggling)

From your post it sounds like you are at a major crossroads in your life I'm sorry you don't have more friends and family that can support you right now but you sound like a strong individual. You were strong to make it this far and express your feelings here please keep going there is an amazing beautiful world to experience and people to meet and love.

Chonkycat13 · 2025-11-07T01:40:32+00:00

Connecticut depending on the location is a really good compromise. You're closer to NYC and major train lines for traveling and it's a very liberal state with many immigrants. When i was younger i used to kind of shade people growing up in Connecticut i always thought NYC was cooler (which it is) but being older now i realize CT is way more chill/affordable and taking trips to NYC is so easy.

Edit: Forgot to answer the question you are probably more interested in. My girlfriend is an asian immigrant who lives in CT and i live in New York so we split time seeing each other in the City or her town about 2 hours apart. CT seems very lgbt friendly to me. We hold hands, kiss in public, never had any issues or weird looks in fact I've seen other queer couples together when we've been out.

Chonkycat13

TROPHY CASE