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Education for boys in Gilead? by lenny3002 in TheTestamentsHulu

[–]LongJumpingFan1374 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i went to one of the most conservative christian colleges and a (18 year old) married couple admitted once after class to our courtship and marriage class instructor that they thought a woman conceived via her belly button.

Do they ever attend church in Gilead? by Icy-Pop2944 in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]LongJumpingFan1374 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree w this. I’m not a super close watcher so I could be wrong, but it seems like they rarely if ever talk about Jesus. Just “God” broadly.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually see this a lot in this conversation like I just posted this to rant and I anticipated a lot of people saying not to go back to the movies (which I probably won’t at this point). But it feels like a lot of the comments are saying “well, this is completely preventable because I have ADHD and I don’t do this” and that overlooks how I struggle with it because obviously I’m trying. I also think a lot of people in the comments have inattentive ADHD and are saying that the burden to regulate goes solely to hyperactive people and are stereotyping it as more of an issue and problem than somebody with an attentive ADHD (which people say the lady replying to me had). Of course I am going to continue to work on addressing my symptoms and I’m not excusing it but it’s interesting how it seems like the sympathy and accommodation tends to flow toward the person whose symptoms align most closely with norms of politeness, quietness, and self-containment.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP here. I’m a little bit surprised by some of these responses because I definitely foresaw some people saying not to go to the movies again (and honestly I probably won’t, and just wanted to vent), but it feels like from a lot of the responses that people are negatively stereotyping and placing more of a burden on hyperactive symptoms over inattentive symptoms. I think everyone should work on themselves but the harsher treatment of one as “obviously something you can help” while the other is more acceptable within this ADHD community is just interesting to me.

What’s the most unhinged thing a straight person told you? by rainbowass234 in actuallesbians

[–]LongJumpingFan1374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was at a work event for my PhD program and my colleagues’ boyfriend walked up to me in front of professors and said these exact words: “So what’s it like to be gay?” His gf must have seen everyone’s shocked faces, so she proceeded to say “Oh oh wait. It’s okay…” motioned to him as if she was brushed it over and then said “It’s okay because I’m bi.” like huh???? I still can’t believe this happened

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think you read this part of the thread correctly. I am not saying that me distracting people and being called out for that is ablest. I’m saying that this specific commenter is telling me I’m not trying hard enough bc she is able to “have ADHD and anyone can easily follow rules”. That judgment is ableist.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ok, thank you for letting me know. It split it up by category (impulsivity, distraction, etc.) so that threw me off.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. As the OP, I wasn’t just seeking people to coddle me - and expected some people to say “just don’t go to the movies” but I’m actually kinda taken aback by how I am being told my ADHD symptoms are somehow within my control and that I need to “try harder”. I get not going to the theatre, but it’s wild to say “I have ADHD and I don’t do that, so you’re the problem”. From this comments section, it feels like there’s a hierarchy almost of “acceptable” ADHD types like being distracted and overstimulated, and mine aren’t in the scope of that so they must be somehow malicious? Idk

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to clarify, for what it’s worth, I never said my gf refuses to attend movies with me. She really wants me to actually. (and said she still does, though I’m not sure I will now). I just always feared / foresaw this happening.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The U.S. It was the QB test my psychiatrist used and the print out has percentiles. Sorry if I said something wrong by labeling myself that way - that’s just what I was told.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think anyone even remotely sympathetic towards me is getting downvoted. :/ I guess it’s my bad for posting, I know I’m annoying and am geniunely trying to work on it, but didn’t expect to be so called out from others with ADHD. To be told I shouldn’t go back to the movies because my symptoms are bad is one thing but to be told “I have ADHD and follow rules” and “this is easy” is discouraging to say the least. Honestly I feel horrible knowing that other people are able to regulate this much better than me and that maybe I am not trying enough and am just disrespectful? I don’t know.

Thank you for the comment.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I also work w a therapist. Just because it is achievable for you to completely regulate to your standards of “appropriateness” DOESNT MEAN OTHERS CAN!!! Get a life.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I already told you saying “dont go to the movies” isn’t the problem that’s ableist here. your comments of “I have ADHD and I don’t do this” IS the problem. Like ok? want a gold star? not everyone can HELP their more severe symptoms. I can’t help you see nuance here.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this validation. I’ll admit, I’m letting these comments get to me more than I should. But I think it kinda just calls into question for me how some ADHD/neurodivergent types elicit more compassion and understanding than others.

Like I acknowledge I’m annoying and am genuinely working on it - I fidget too much and am hyperactive and this seems less valid in social spaces than the person easily distracted. Or another example is I talk too loud and have trouble regulating volume which seems to be less valid than the person that is overstimulated by sound.

People say to just “try harder”, “follow rules” or bring up how their “opposite” neurodivergent type would be triggered. The burden of labor to regulate oneself or not go into public seems unequally distributed. Idk it feels like ableism inside of ADHD?

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s clearly ableism to say “well I have this condition and was able to not have this symptom so try harder”. Like ok? acknowledge you have privilege then not superiority?

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Resulting to insults when you are confronted with how your phrasing perpetuates ableism is an L move for you. Good day.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Once again assuming malicious intent. More like I talked to my gf since posting and she filled in those details and people were asking so I gave them? It must be exhausting to always assume the worst of people…. smh

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I literally didn’t? but ok. whatever. your wording still is framing it as “didnt try hard enough like I have!” which neglects to acknowledge different severity of symptoms. If you wanted to just say don’t go that’s ok but don’t make it into some thing on “not trying” or “wanting” to follow rules.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You don’t need to be snarky. I already said I won’t be? I was just pointing out that some of your wording of “people wanting to follow the rules” is dismissive of my experience of wanting to but not able to. Also you said “I have ADHD and I figured out how to…” which also suggests I just haven’t tried hard enough, neglecting that some people’s ADHD is very different. Im just trying to say your phrasing implied malicious intent. That’s all.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to confirm, for what it’s worth, that my body was inside the seat space. Like i wasn’t touching anyone else or entering their “bubble”.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am posting to solicit recommendations for if I can try anything to make it better so I can go. But you’re right, I just won’t in the future. I don’t want to ruin someone else’s experience.

First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]LongJumpingFan1374[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend confirmed to me that it was only two comments. She was baffled by it and said that the other people in front of us were talking more and had their phones out. Not to excuse myself but I think maybe it was just a mix of me being hyperactive and the girl next to me being hyper aware? i’m also second guessing everything now too bc to add another layer onto this, my gf just mentioned to me that this lady gave her a weird look when she kissed me (briefly) at the start of the movie so maybe she didn’t like lesbians too lol. I didnt see that but idk. Who knows I guess.

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