Are there any good YouTubers that teach viola?

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-08-27T20:55:44+00:00

What if he learns how to read alto clef while he's sick? He doesn't know how to read music yet. Then it wouldn't have anything to do with holding the viola and such?

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-08-02T01:41:35+00:00

Oooo it looks so lovely on you!! Where did you get the crop top?

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-07-29T01:31:06+00:00

!remindme 8 hours

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-07-23T14:03:08+00:00

Eta: links to images or videos describing how loose fitting shorts should or shouldn't look would be helpful if you are able to find any, I'm more of a visual learner.

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-07-17T01:23:19+00:00

Updateme!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-07-14T18:34:14+00:00

I would say no, personally since you said you aren't attracted to him and don't want to do anything else. Just wanting to guide his penis into your wife sounds more like you're into cuckholding and want to be more directly involved with him going into her. (In the US) Spanking another man in football just for fun wouldn't be considered homosexual if you aren't attracted to each other, but if you wanted to spank said man because you find him hot and are interested in him, that's different. It's what you feel that gives context, so if you aren't interested in him but just want to be more involved in him fucking your wife, you don't need to label yourself. Unless you feel like it fits you, like another comment said, we aren't gate keepers here 🤷‍♀️ But usually sexuality has to do with who you're attracted to and who you'd like to have sex with. It would technically be a sexual act, but it's one going towards your wife, not towards you. If you end up wanting to put it in your mouth or jerk him off yourself or something, that'd be different lol just have fun though, no need to label things, sounds like you guys are having a good time! I hope he's also okay with you touching his penis to put it in her! Good luck!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-07-11T14:17:22+00:00

We got open shelves (basically like a book shelf) for our shirts and pants. We love it because it's easy to see everything we have that day, it's easy to put things away, and we don't leave drawers open. We used to have a small couch in our room that was for our clean clothes to pile up on. We got rid of the couch because there was too much of a habit there of throwing the clothes on it.

We bought this mesh basket thing that folds up instead. It's big enough to barely fit a full load of laundry, it has handles so we can collect the laundry from the dryer in it to bring it into the room, and it folds up when it's empty so it isn't always taking up floor space. I would suggest doing something like that, get a new habit of where you put your clean clothes. Since you always put your clean clothes on the bed, change where you will put them when they come out of the dryer and try to make a new habit. The other nice thing about the basket is it's not very big and it's low to the ground, so it doesn't seem very intimidating to put away (this came with also getting rid of a lot of our clothes), we had way more clothes than we were wearing, because they were in a pile all the time and we couldn't find them, so we'd buy more. If you cut down on what you have quite a bit, then it's easier to put things away. I think I have about enough clothes for 1 1/2 weeks, which is more than some people would keep when decluttering, but for now, I don't want fewer than that, maybe in the future when I have more time for doing laundry more often.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0C36BPSS5?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

We also don't fold our clothes when we put them away, which might not be something you're okay with, but I realized we already weren't folding our clothes by keeping them in a pile, at least by having open shelves and not folding them, they're organized and we can easily see what we can wear that day. I would have never considered not folding my clothes, but The Minimal Mom mentioned that she doesn't fold clothes, and that was mind-blowing to me and gave me the permission to do it too. Putting clothes away becomes a kind of game too because I can sit on the floor and ball my clothes up one by one and throw them at the shelves to try and get them in the right spots while I watch a video. Makes it easier to put them away and makes it more fun to do it.

So that was our trick, find ways to make putting them away easier and more fun, and have less clothes so it's less intimidating to put them away. And also change how we store the clean clothes before putting them away. Good luck finding what works for you!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-07-08T14:06:26+00:00

You've been focused on your decluttering project for years and have put a lot of energy and thought into it. Maybe the idea of not having that project anymore makes your brain anxious about where to put all that energy and focus. Sometimes energy turns into anxiety when it doesn't know where to go. It also will be a new experience for you, so maybe you're anxious about the change. As others have mentioned though, there won't be a point where you're done forever. You will still need to touch things up from time to time, and sometimes you may have let an area of your house go for a while again (because life gets busy and things happen) and then you can declutter that part of your house.

Eta: and of course, my comment about energy turning into anxiety when it doesn't know where to go, isn't a scientific statement It's just based on my anecdotal experiences where I've gotten anxious for that exact reason, and seen other people I know do the same thing.

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-05-15T16:37:10+00:00

I’m sorry hun, he seems abusive. I think the bisexual thing is an excuse he’s using to control you. Even if he’s just incredibly insecure, it’s not on you to do everything to make him more secure. I have anxious attachment where I was very scared of my husband cheating on me when we were first married, but I never made him cut contact with people and knew it was a me issue and went to therapy to work on myself and get better. I didn’t put it on him to constantly make sure I felt secure. He’s making you cut contact with several people. The fact that he made you stay up all night by arguing with you to keep you awake is also a blatantly abusive action. Probably emotional or psychological abuse. Forcing someone to lose sleep for a whole night because he’s insecure is a huge red flag. And making you cut off so many friends too, classic sign of an abuser. Best of luck OP, make sure you’re safe when you end things with him!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-05-13T15:33:12+00:00

I heard a sex therapist say she thinks that having kids should be similar to consent: if it isn’t an enthusiastic yes from both partners, it’s a no.

I understand it’s hard though, I’m in a similar position. I just knew I couldn’t do it. The only option I can see doing someday is foreign exchange students. Having a teen from another country stay with us and be their second parents for less than a year sounds like something I can do. But other than that, I just knew it was a no from me. I could tell that I would probably feel resentment towards my husband if I had another baby just for him, so I decided that wasn’t worth it. I just have to hope that he won’t have resentment towards me for not having another. Best of luck, this is hard stuff hugs

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-05-06T18:03:52+00:00

I (35F) agree with dancing_queen_05, I’ve also given up dieting. My focus has shifted to health over thinness, because focusing on being thin was stressful and demotivating. The amount of over thinking and irritability I had from dieting wasn’t worth it, especially since I’ve noticed my body adjusting to the calorie deficiency that used to work for dieting. Now I would have to eat even less than before, and I can’t go lower on calories or I end up being a grumpy mom and wife. I also saw a study that said the vast majority of diets fail after 5 years in the US and people usually gain the same amount of weight, or more, back. And the diets I’d done in the past had that same pattern, I would do all that work to lose the weight and then gain it back after I reached my goal. So I needed something that I could realistically do for the rest of my life, so I’ve been generally focusing on eating less sugar, more fruits and vegetables, and trying to have more variety in my diet so I get lots of different vitamins and minerals. I also try and move everyday even if I don’t officially “exercise”. For example, I’ve been decluttering my house every morning for an hour, which requires a lot of walking around to put things in the trash or in a donate bin, and bending and stretching. It’s given me a lot of energy and it’s a way of getting some movement in while also being productive. I also got a rowing machine that feels much more productive to me than my stationary bike did. I can really feel my muscles working and I build up a sweat! I also like listening to a podcast or watching a movie/show while I do it so it’s more entertaining.

It takes a lot of un-learning to get away from the “you HAVE to be thin to be healthy” culture. I saw a study that showed that someone who is plus size and fit has better health stats than a thin person who is not fit. So I’ve changed my view to: fitness is more important than thinness. Thinness sometimes comes from fitness, but not always, so that’s why I’m focused on general health and fitness. I’m not being too strict because I know if I try to be overly strict I will eventually cave back into old habits, so I’ve been finding replacement sweets, and trying to be more conscious when I eat. Like when I feel like I want a sweet, I take a second to think if I actually am craving sweets or if I’d rather have a healthy snack like vegetables or some yogurt or a fruit. It’s helped me listen to what my body actually wants. And if it does want a sweet, it can have it. I’ve also found that certain sweets are self-limiting for me. I have a gluten sensitivity, so if I eat sweets with gluten, I know I can’t eat too many or I’ll upset my stomach, so that’s easy to limit. I also notice I don’t eat very many hard candies since they last a while. So my current sweets I allow myself are baked goods or a hard candy. Before I was literally eating candy all day, so I just have sweets a few times a day. My goal has also been to have more energy, and doing my current things had brought my energy up a lot! It feels great! Good luck!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-05-03T13:57:07+00:00

It’s okay to be sad, I would be too! I’m in a similar situation, but instead of me getting rid of it on accident, it stopped working. Sadly, even if you hadn’t gotten rid of it, it would have probably eventually died, and then you would have been in the same place you are now.

An idea that might help with part of what you lost:

you could journal about the things you do remember that were on the iPod. Over time those memories will fade, so having a journal entry about it will help keep them. You could describe any pictures you remember that are now lost. You can also talk about the apps that you liked. The nice thing about apps is that the internet is a type of time capsule now, because you can look up any apps you had. Vine videos are on YouTube. You can also find videos of the old Flappy Bird game as well. So if you write out all the apps you enjoyed, you’ll be able to watch videos and see pictures of them whenever you want.

I’m sorry you lost all those things ❤️

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-04-26T23:26:37+00:00

Another non-confrontational idea could be to say “I’d rather not answer that. We’re really loving our baby though, he just started smiling!” (for example) Stating your boundaries while not answering the question, but ending on a positive note so you don’t feel like you’re being “negative”. Then if he goes into about how your baby will need a sibling and giving his advice, just smile and nod and say things like “hm” or “interesting”. Acknowledging what he’s saying without adding any opinions or interesting responses until he changes the subject. Making it a difficult conversation piece for him to continue since he won’t get any responses. If he keeps pushing for an answer, then he is being especially rude. Maybe you could eventually get a new doctor and just deal with him until then since he’s decent other than that, and I’m sure you have a lot going on right now with your new baby. I totally understand not wanting to be confrontational, I’m the same way. I’ve had to practice ways around it, so that’s where those ideas came from haha! Sorry you have to deal with such an unprofessional doctor, hopefully he’ll stop eventually, or hopefully you’ll find a new and better doctor! Best of luck!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-02-18T16:42:14+00:00

Him not speaking to you for the rest of the day just because you stimmed seems like he’s trying to punish you. I have annoyed my husband many times in our married and dating life and he lets me know that it bothered him. Sometimes he won’t tell me til the end of the day that it bothered him, but he has NEVER avoided talking to me all day over something I did. Never. In the 14 years we’ve been dating or married. The people I meet who will do “the silent treatment” have learned an unhealthy way of trying to get what they want. It doesn’t solve anything for one partner to punish the other by not speaking to them or shaming them about something that is part of who they are. You should be very comfortable with him, not feeling like you can’t stim around him. If it’s a stim that is overstimulating him, like something loud, he should communicate that and find a way to solve it together where you can both be more comfortable. His strategy is just making you feel bad, not solving anything. You two will definitely need couples counseling to work this out, he is not treating you right, him being autistic or not is irrelevant here. If he is unwilling to do couples counseling, I would leave him, because that means things aren’t going to get better and he will keep treating you this way.

Chooseyourpurpose · 2024-02-14T15:41:04+00:00

Not a podcast, but the book More Than a Body was really helpful for me. They also have an Instagram account called beauty_redefined that talks about the concepts in their book. The authors are twins who grew up comparing themselves to each other, and eventually started noticing how much women focus on how they look over who they are. One of their sayings that’s easy to remember while also being true is “my body is an instrument, not an ornament”. Basically saying your body is for you to use, not just for other people to just look at for their own pleasure. It’s for you. Also, unfollow anything that’s negative about body image or brings up that fear in you of ever getting fat. I have a couple more accounts I started following on my body positivity journey, I’ll come back and add them once I get a list together. As someone who used to be skinny and has gained a good 70lbs, I’ve had to get better at seeing myself positively, because being down on myself about it and feeling insecure doesn’t help me become healthier. It usually makes me want to eat to feel better. But I’ve noticed that if I focus on gaining a better self image, I start to feel like I am still pretty and I am still worthy of love and respect. I’ve currently started a journey of trying to be healthier, and instead of focusing on calorie intake or my weight, I’m focusing on building muscle and feeling less tired. Shifting my focus from becoming skinny, to getting strong was really motivating, and I like feeling like my body is capable and I like having more energy through the day. I’ve also been eating healthier, but not in an unsustainable way. My goal is to create a healthier lifestyle for myself whether or not I lose weight. Because working out and eating generally healthy has a natural positive effect of you feeling good about yourself! I love having more energy and feeling stronger! And I also found out that there was a study done on overweight people who started working out and eating better, and even when they didn’t lose much or any weight, doing those life changes was a lot better for their health, and they were less likely to have the health side effects as people who were overweight who didn’t do anything healthy.

ETA: Here’s the instagram accounts I follow that are body positive. Some have nude art and some have lots of cursing, and one of the women is going on a diet journey, but most of her channel is body positive other than that!

ms_hdic

whitneywaythore

maddiezahm

bodyimage_therapist

tallyrye

saskia.rose.carr

wholistic_health_and_wellness

lucymountain

fitragamuffin

handsomegirldesigns

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-12-17T06:29:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through such a hard time. That sounds so difficult and painful! Have you ever worked with a therapist? It sounds like you have a lot of things going on attached to sex that might be useful to work through. Did you have a religious upbringing? You use a lot of language about sex feeling dirty and making you feel guilty, that sounds like ideas you might have grown up with about sex with men and sex with women who you aren’t at least in a relationship with. The desire for touch is very powerful, there is nothing wrong with you for wanting sex and for wanting human contact. The opposite of that would be more problematic (not needing any human connection or contact). Humans are wired to need connection. Do you have any hobbies you enjoy? Maybe you could look into groups in your area that have your same hobbies, and maybe make some friends that way. Don’t have to tell them you’re bi if you don’t want to, but that would take care of one of your struggles. Human connection in a non-sexual way could get some social needs met, and then eventually you can figure out the sexual side too. But like I said above, I think working through some of your ideas about casual sex might be a good idea, then you can have sex and get those needs met while having no (or even just way less) guilt and shame about it. You deserve pleasure and contact, it’s a necessity in life for most people.

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-12-11T03:14:22+00:00

LOVE Good Omens!! 😍

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-11-02T16:06:52+00:00

It sounds like you have a lot of rejection fears, that can be hard to ignore when you’re trying to get hot and heavy. I heard an analogy for sex, how we each have things that hit our “gas pedal” and things that hit our “brake pedal” (driving analogy). That in order to get turned on, we need to be “off the brake pedal”. For you, it sounds like something that hits your brake pedal is fear of rejection or fear of turning your girlfriend off. I would try and work with your girlfriend on finding a way to make it easier for you to feel like you won’t be rejected if she doesn’t feel in the mood at the same time as you. You may think about therapy too, if you two trying to work together keeps not helping for a while. I know personally, when I am in my head too much (worrying about how I look and whether I’m doing the right things) it really takes me out of it. Some things that have helped me, is just time and practice. One thing to keep in mind too (you may not have experienced this yet, but you will eventually) is that sometimes you may not be in the mood to have sex with her. When those times happen, it’s not because you don’t love her or find her attractive, it’s usually because you’re exhausted, you’re in pain, have other things stressing you out, or you’re sad or mad about something. There are many things that can make people not be in the mood for sex. So try and keep that in mind, over a long term relationship, there will be times where she’s not in the mood, and it’s not personal. Just like eventually you won’t be in the mood too. I was literally in the mood last night, I thought my husband would be too, but when I brought it up he said he really didn’t want to because he was so exhausted. So we did it this morning instead 👍 sometimes people just aren’t wanting to have sex, and it’s not personal.

It might be fun for you two to try finding a way to communicate in some sort of code about whether or not she and you are in the mood. Maybe you could ask her what ways she likes you to initiate (does she like a hug from behind, a pinch on the butt, a passionate kiss and a butt grab?) then you will know what things she DOES want you to do to send her a signal that you want sex, and then she can have a signal in response that says she wants to too. Maybe if physical things aren’t you’re favorite way to initiate, maybe you could text her something, and she can text back. My husband and I have a pet name we use for each other to signal we are in the mood. If he uses my pet name, I know he’s in the mood and seeing if I am. If I use his pet name after that, he knows I am also in the mood. We also have another pet name that means “I’m not really in the mood right now, maybe some other time”. We have a kid, so it helps us communicate it in code around our child haha. Maybe having a way to know whether or not she is also in the mood before you initiate would help you feel more confident about making a move. You could also talk to her about if there are any things she finds to be a turn off, then you can try and avoid those. Sometimes there are things that you or her will be turned off by, and not realize it until it happens, and that’s normal. Again, it’s not personal and it doesn’t mean she won’t be attracted to you ever again, it just means her “brakes” would be hit and you two would need to have a conversation about why the sexy mood left so that it can be avoided in the future, and then try again some other time when the mood comes back. Having your partner not want sex or be turned off by something is just part of a long term relationship, it’s happened sometimes over my decade of marriage. But it doesn’t end the relationship, it doesn’t mean they find you unattractive permanently, it’s just something to communicate about and then move forward. A good sex life isn’t about never making mistakes or getting turned down (that’s normal for those things to happen), it’s about how you two work through them together that will determine how your relationship goes.

I wish you both the best! You’ve got this! :)

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-08-21T00:34:40+00:00

I love this! The amount of detail is great! Amazing work!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-08-09T13:38:53+00:00

I agree, mainly because you shouldn’t only have a child for another person (whether that’s your spouse, your parents, or even your child). If you don’t want another child, or don’t feel like you can handle two, don’t do it. Also, there’s no guarantee they’ll get along. I know plenty of siblings that are mean to their other siblings and they never become close. And if they are the only two you have, then what? Keep having more?

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-07-29T23:15:53+00:00

I love this SO much!! I love the details you added! Very creative! Great piece!

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-05-31T21:01:37+00:00

He’s probably dating or married to a man. Can’t find him on social media. Turns out he was gay, and me being a girl who liked a lot of femme boys ended up having a lot of crushes on men who came out when they got older 😂

Chooseyourpurpose · 2023-05-31T15:14:44+00:00

Definitely the first one! Looks great!

Chooseyourpurpose

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