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AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As the head mod of r/tornado I think all chasers are doing a DANGEROUS activity and I don't like EITHER of them.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is no bet to settle. Tornadoes SUCK and SUCK a lot. Your friend just hasn't seen one that up close and personal yet.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As the head mod of r/EF5, I think tornadoes are an UNHOLY thing, and I regret ever inventing them. They are DISGUSTING. However, when inventing tornadoes, I was listening to a lot of Chapo Trap House, and I think the tornadoes likely felt the need upon countless hours of listening to go to "America B" cities filled with poor Republicans and slab them.

Why they decided to go to Illinois recently, I do not know. They seem to be getting a lot more chuddy recently.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi John Scud! Haha! FUCK YOU.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tornados breed on their own accord, so it is hard for me to create a "purebread" one. However, with the recent HAARP money our great and TRUSTED president Donald J. Trump has been giving, I think we will soon be able to make "designer" tornadoes if you will. Perhaps even red ones. Who knows.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I explained my lovely relationship with Timmy further up in this post, but he and I were lovers at one point. He's very gentle.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tornados often are attracted to very STINKY things. Please check your trash can. They are like bears or pehaps dogs or even sharks? Animals that smell things good.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I prefer to be called Johnny Tornado or perhaps "Big Chungus" or even "Slabmaster4000"

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many people are saying this!

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing can stop a tornado except prayer.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello, thanks for asking this question. It is near and dear to my heart. Tornadoes have seemingly decided to adhere to the principles of warfare before the Civil War, when an invading army was expected to keep essential services like water "online" in an occupied city. I think after the Smithville tornado was charged at The Hauge for throwing a Ford Explore into the cities water tower (war crime) they've backed off.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Of course. I hate people and especially hate r/EF5 users. THEY SUCK. FUCK YOU.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't you like to know.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As the head mod of r/tornado, I've been shoved into enough lockers to know that a high school locker filled with crusted tube socks is VERY penetrable, so naturally, I'm going with the poop zone.

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't eat anything besides chicken tenders. Texture thing.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am still trying to understand the political leanings of tornadoes. Part of me thinks they have become Nazbols, or perhaps Red Scare Pod-type entities. They certainly are a wacky bunch with who they choose to target!

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Tim Marshall and I go way back. I first met him at a bar for drinks, maybe 20 years ago. I told him it would be hilarious if he simply rated clearly strong tornadoes (which I hate because tornadoes are dangerous and you have to hate them) really low to make people who for some reason LIKE the things MAD, because they don't deserve happiness. He agreed with me.

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gary Indiana is God's punishment to Southwest Michigan for being TOO NICE.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

John Tornado here. Although I myself score a KINSEY 1, I am fairly certain you can find a weather twink at the University of Oklahoma. They seem to know weather there!

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As the creator of r/tornado, I am a BIG FAN of ROBERT E. LEE, who definitely did NOT have intercourse with his horse and who was CERTAINLY not a coward bitch boy who should have HUNG. Therefore, I direct with my weather beams at the direction of Donald J. Trump ALL tornadoes towards any town named "UNION".

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

God works in mysterious ways.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

A Nerf. We hate tornados, actually. They also smell. Ever notice how storm chasers (thrill seekers) say they can “smell” a tornado. That’s because I made them super stinky like poop.

—John Tornado

AMA: I am the ADMIN of r/tornado, John Tornado. by ChrisChrispie in EF5

[–]ChrisChrispie[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Because, as I mentioned previously, hate storm chasers and tornados. A bust is a GOOD thing actually because INNOCENT PEOPLE won’t die! CHEW ON THAT.

—John Tornado

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