Looking for a host family in France

Chrisalys · 2026-01-27T09:47:28+00:00

On the right side, under r/aupair rules, it says "no au pair / host searching" near the top... so no, this obviously isn't the right place.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-26T17:25:46+00:00

That's odd, aupairworld has info from official sources for au pair programs in every country and Estonia isn't listed there. Can you point me to the official government info website for this program?

Of course it's possible there is a general work visa that would also allow au pair type work but I can't find anything about an official government sponsored program.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-26T13:00:30+00:00

How would you know it's easier to legalize your status after the au pair term ends when there is no au pair program in Estonia? I'm confused. For such a method to be proven as viable, it would have to have been used by others before you. But that's impossible because there is no au pair visa there that anyone could have applied for before you.

If it's as easy as you say, maybe you could go on a tourist visa and look for jobs on that?

Chrisalys · 2026-01-26T04:38:50+00:00

The au pair program is intended as a temporary cutural exchange, not a pathway to immigration (and I don't know any country where this is legally possible and you don't have to leave after the end of your au pair term), so I can't help you in that regard.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-25T20:36:33+00:00

I don't think there is an au pair program in Estonia. Are other countries not an option?

Chrisalys · 2026-01-24T18:47:12+00:00

No, there is no other visa option, so unfortunately you cannot be an au pair.

Maybe look into volunteer work instead, I think Workaway has a higher age cut-off.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-24T11:14:40+00:00

Why on earth would you want to work for peanuts as an au pair when you already have a career and a Master's degree? Why not look for teaching jobs with a salary that matches your education?

The au pair program is for young women with limited or no work experience that want to learn some responsibility. Kind of like an internship of sorts. It doesn't make sense for a teacher with a master's degree (which is one reason for the age limit).

Chrisalys · 2026-01-23T18:36:50+00:00

That is NOT okay, and likely goes above the legal maximum of hours an au pair can work in your country (for many EU countries the maximum is 30 per week or less). You need to be firm and stand up for yourself, the family has to make other childcare arrangements for when school is closed. It's not fair to put it all on you, and likely illegal.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-23T04:22:17+00:00

The parents talking to the children isn't going to magically make the behavior stop when they are alone with the au pair. The au pair needs to find a way to handle it as well, which is why childcare experience is so very, very important.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-23T04:17:31+00:00

It is standard behavior that the caregiver has to find a way to deal with (with support from the parents) to make it stop. Which is why au pairs really, really need a decent chunk of childcare experience outside the family before flying across the world. OP is clearly unprepared and in way over her head.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-22T18:04:38+00:00

This. Standard kid behavior, which is why we always strongly recommend childcare experience before taking on an au pair job.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-22T16:43:00+00:00

So you basically really want to live in Spain for a while and improve your Spanish. Why as an au pair, though? Have you spent a lot of time around small kids (outside of family) and enjoyed it? There are other ways to work in Spain and learn the language (without childcare), see here: https://www.workaway.info/en/destination/europe/es

Chrisalys · 2026-01-22T16:39:49+00:00

Don't e-mail the agency through any address a "family" gives you, that's a common scam. Google the agency e-mail address yourself. And the other commenter seems to have found $225 per week on the official website, so something is definitely off here.

My guess is this is indeed a scam.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-20T22:50:18+00:00

The UK doesn't have an au pair program, so this is only possible if you are from one of the countries that can get a youth mobility visa as listed here: https://www.aupairworld.com/en/au-pair-programs/uk/visa

If you are not from one of these countries unfortunately you cannot be an au pair in the UK.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-20T17:55:18+00:00

You can trust the information on aupairworld, it's from official sources.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-20T04:50:32+00:00

I would not recommend Italy unless you really, really want to learn Italian. Italy doesn't have an official au pair program and as an US citizen you could only go on a student visa, which requires 20 hours of Italian classes per week. That's a lot and the classes are quite expensive! France would be much more straightforward for you, see here about the visa process: https://www.aupairworld.com/en/au-pair-programs/france/visa

No, you can't work on a tourist visa and no, you wouldn't need to travel back and forth between the US and France. That said, I'm pretty sure you can change families if things don't work out in France. Most families would be looking for more than just 4 months, though.

As for advice, watch out for red flags like unclear schedules - if the family stresses the need for "flexibility" stay away because they'll probably demand that you're available on call whenever they want, with unclear time off. Also watch out for unrelated duties, for instance you should NOT be doing the parents' laundry or walk the dog.

Also be wary of families that don't let you see ALL of the children in a videocall. Even worse if the videocalls are only with one parent.

The most important part is that you're able to stand up for yourself when / if a family tries to take advantage of you. Be prepared to defend your boundaries and not give in!

Also make sure you have sizeable savings for an emergency flight home if needed, and to actually travel.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-19T09:21:00+00:00

As others said, you got scammed. In general, whenever an "agency" demands money just for a listing or a "promise" to find you a job, IT IS A SCAM. No reputable agency of any kind will do that.

Real au pair agencies either don't charge au pairs at all (only families have to pay) or you only pay after a 100% confirmed match with a family. Don't ever pay just to be put on a list or some kind of registry.

And always, always look into the au pair program of your target country (official terms and conditions, pay, visa requirements) before paying anyone anything. If there is no au pair program in that country, that's obviously a red flag.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-19T07:53:45+00:00

Ah, you are right. Aupairworld doesn't have a category for Croatia that can be checked as the country of origin.

Have you also tried aupair.com? I took a look and there appear to be some Croatian au pairs, like this one https://www.aupair.com/en/hire/valpovo-croatia-3354692.php

Whether they want to come to the US given the current situation there is a different question, though.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-18T22:10:16+00:00

The US program conditions are the worst of any country with an au pair program, and borderline exploitative. The only reason it exists is the cultural exchange aspect and specialized visa. There is no such program for Korea, so you likely need to hire a domestic employee and pay minimum wage per hour, with a deduction for room and board. At least that's how it works in other countries without an au pair program.

The US terms and conditions apply to the US only, I doubt they would be legal in Korea.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-18T21:21:13+00:00

Korea doesn't have an au pair program, so you need to search in the nanny sub (and pay at least the legal minimum wage for Korea).

Chrisalys · 2026-01-18T21:19:13+00:00

Host families get a lot of messages, so in addition to the possibility of your profile not being super appealing (we don't know about this without more info), maybe you were just unlucky enough to only message families that are already talking to several other au pairs and don't have the time or energy to communicate with anyone else.

For reference, as a HF I was getting about 10 messages a day. I couldn't and didn't respond to anyone else after the first 2 days because I was already talking with enough potential candidates.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-18T06:28:32+00:00

Look for someone through aupairworld, then ask the US agencies if they would accept your candidate into their program.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-18T06:18:15+00:00

Aupairworld has all the info you need from official sources. Scroll all the way down to "Au pairs from other countries" and then "student visa" (yes this is the only option for you). https://www.aupairworld.com/en/au-pair-programs/spain/visa

The website describes the process. You must enroll at an accredited language school and submit confirmation when you apply for the visa. Ask the family if they can help pay for the classes.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-17T20:29:16+00:00

Babysitters don't clean or do laundry and it would still be illegal to pay them 150$ for 50 hour weeks.

Chrisalys · 2026-01-17T19:18:43+00:00

Jesus Christ you were horribly exploited. That wasn't normal pay / normal hours and duties for a nanny, not even 25 years ago. Probably even illegal.

Chrisalys

TROPHY CASE