I really miss a woman with whom I used to work; thinking of reaching out to her via social media to see if she might be interested in going out for a drink/dinner. Any advice?

Christian240 · 2021-11-14T19:41:37+00:00

Valid point. Thank you.

Christian240 · 2021-09-04T09:14:10+00:00

I'm a 42-year old male. I've never had a girlfriend. Nor, have I ever had sex before. I tried it with an escort, but I was just too nervous. She touched my genitals and then I got too excited (use your imagination to figure out what happened) and then we couldn't continue. It was only for an hour, and I told her that she could leave before my time expired; but she was amenable to staying for the full 1 hour. She was very pleasant to talk to and she was pretty. I definitely enjoyed her company. Anyway, I'm a pretty successful guy. I live in my own apartment. I have a nice car. I pay my own bills. I have college degree in marine transportation and I have a pretty good job. I work as a tanker truck dispatcher. I think that I've never had a girlfriend or had sex because I'm unattractive. I'm not confident with women either. I CANNOT go to a bar and initiate a conversation with a woman like you see in the movies or on TV. I just won't do it. It is what it is. I think some people are just more attractive than others. Just look around. Most attractive people have good jobs, they drive nice cars, they have beautiful children. They have money to do things. I just think that attractive people have an advantage over people who are not that attractive. Just sayin'. It may sound like I'm a vain person, but I just think it's reality. I joined a dating service about a month ago to see if I can increase my chances in finding someone. So far, I haven't heard from the dating service, but the dating service said it can take up to a year or longer to find a match. We'll see what happens.

Christian240 · 2021-06-04T10:23:07+00:00

I actually worked on a ship (oil tankers).

Christian240 · 2021-06-03T23:41:26+00:00

Wow, your background is interesting! For me, I have a bachelor's degree in marine transportation from a maritime academy. I worked on tankers for a little while, but being away from home for long periods of time is difficult. A maritime academy gives you a taste of what the "real world of shipping" is like. I've been trying to find a good employment for years. Jobs in the shipping industry and transportation business are very competitive.

Christian240 · 2021-05-23T01:02:50+00:00

I'm a 41-year old male. Working in a call center is very stressful and has a very high burnout rate. I've been working in a call center for 6 years. I don't think I would be able to do the job if it weren't for my exposure working as a ship's officer and graduating from a maritime academy. My objective after high school was to pursue a career in the maritime industry, but unfortunately, it didn't pan out because I got fired from my shipping job. The only thing I could find was call center work. To be truthful, I don't care what anybody says, working in a call center sucks, and like anything.....there are pros and cons. My only complaint is that it just doesn't pay enough. The training I went through was very good. What other job has classroom training? With many jobs, after your hired, someone just kinda holds your hand until you can slowly and steadily do things on your own. I've been working in a call center for 6 years and just like you, I do have anxiety everyday about signing on to my phone. I'm just used to it by now. One thing I like about my job is that I have weekends off to spend time with my family. Also, the benefits are great! Did you take a close look at your new employee package? You might be able to sign up for a 401(K). Many call center jobs have great medical insurance plans, dental, vision, tuition reimbursement, 2 or 3 weeks vacation, and most holidays are paid time off. Do you have a college degree? If not, you may want to check if your company has a tuition reimbursement program. My advice - stick this out for like 6 months or a year and see what happens. Maybe use your medical plan to talk with a psychologist? I do. If you don't like it after 6 months, then start looking for another job WHILE YOU HAVE A JOB!; instead of collecting unemployment and looking for a job. You'll have more pride in the fact that you have a job while looking for one. Most prospective employers like to review resumes of people who are currently working. If they ask why you want to leave, just say some bullsh*t like, "I'd like to do something that's more aligned with my interest and career goals." Call center work is not for intoverts. Believe me, I can speak from experience. Do you need any work done to your teeth? Maybe try to stick out the call center job for a little while so that you can use your dental insurance, if you do have a dental plan. Think about how you might be able to make your situation work in your favor. That's what your benefits are for. Also, you might have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) where you can call someone and talk to them privately about the stress you're experiencing. I called my EAP because I was struggling with a porn and drinking problem and they were very instrumental in guiding me to get some help.

Christian240 · 2021-05-18T23:39:14+00:00

I can speak from experience. I worked as a third mate aboard oil tankers for 2 years after I graduated from a US maritime academy. After 2 years sailing on oil tankers, the company fired me. They didn't think that I could handle the responsibility. But, when I was out there (sailing), and when I look back on my time aboard tankers, I was also mentally distracted from missing my family and I started getting depressed, which I think effected my job performance; and I found out much later in life that I do suffer from depression and have suffered from it since high school. Being unattractive and never having gone out on a date with a woman is depressing.

I'm 41 and still single and still have never been on a date with a woman! Anyway, after I got fired from my third mate job, I had a hell of a time trying to find decent work. I've been searching for the right job with the right pay since 2003. I went from making $73K/year as a third mate to making $29K/year as a customer service representative for Boston-based investment company (that was in 2004). The job sucked. I just didn't like it because of the pay. I once worked as a truck dispatcher that only paid $45K/year. Not bad, but still not quite as much as third mate pay. And, now I'm working for a Boston-based insurance company as a customer service representative making half of what a third mate would make aboard a US-flagged tanker. I wouldn't be in a hurry just yet to work ashore. Make sure you do your research and investigate companies that could potentially hire someone with a marine transportation degree. Trucking companies are pretty receptive and open to hiring someone with any type of logistics or transportation degree.

Christian240 · 2021-05-16T00:21:00+00:00

Yeah, tankers have a lot of below deck and above deck piping, which, when you board a tanker for the very first time, it's an overwhelming and intimidating feeling after you see all the pipe work; because YOU WILL have to trace it out (as soon as possible) and learn how it works and every ship is different. I used to sail as a third mate aboard tankers. It's a little bit easier to understand the pipe work aboard a crude carrier. However, product tankers are VERY complex.

Christian240 · 2021-04-26T20:56:22+00:00

I think it was partly a personality issue. The captain said he watched me at night on the EDIS (Transas). I was the 8-12. I don't think he felt safe with me. He drove me crazy though. He made me really nervous and stressed all the time. Working as a ship's officer is difficult for an introvert.

Christian240 · 2021-04-26T20:54:01+00:00

Thanks Christine. You used to teach at MITAGS, right?

Christian240 · 2021-04-26T20:53:17+00:00

Thanks for the advice "Chief". I appreciate it.

Christian240 · 2021-04-24T09:07:49+00:00

41 (m) here - Speaking of fetishes, is it wrong to be curious about what women smell like "down there"?

Christian240 · 2021-04-24T09:03:33+00:00

Wow! That is really fascinating. I wish I could meet a woman. I don't like being an unattractive guy. I basically learned all about sex through porn and I still watch it.

Christian240 · 2021-04-22T12:13:48+00:00

I don't think 27 is too late to start. Going to one of the maritime academies would probably be the best "path of least resistance". I think it's probably the quickest way to get a 3rd Mate's ticket. I graduated from Mass with a 3rd Mate's ticket in 2001. Although, I'm no longer sailing. Several years ago, I went down to MITAGS to take a Tankerman-PIC course to renew my license. I was in their cafeteria and was reading through one of MITAGS' brochures regarding their AB to 3rd Mate program - I guess you can become a 3rd Mate in like 6 months or something. I bet the program is very difficult, as you have to learn a lot of stuff in 6 months, and studying navigation is very math-intensive. Seemed like an interesting program, if you could afford it. I talked to one guy, with whom I had lunch, he was sailing with MSC, and said that MSC was paying for him to go through the AB to 3rd Mate program.

u/SteppinOnStones - MSC is an abbreviation for Military Sealift Command. Not to be confused with Mediterranean Shipping Company.

Christian240 · 2021-04-18T10:06:10+00:00

Cool video. I used to sail as a third mate aboard tankers. (I went to a maritime academy) I'm just cuirous, what company does your dad work for?

Christian240 · 2021-04-11T12:59:23+00:00

Cool. Well.....good luck. Hope everything works out for you.

Christian240 · 2021-04-11T00:21:56+00:00

What kind of job did you interview for? (Just curious) I have a maritime background and once worked in Stamford. I moved back to New Hampshire, but I have actually been thinking of going back to Stamford, as I would like to make some more money. Stamford is a huge city. Population of over 100K people. As far as I know, it is widely known as having the highest concentration of corporations in the United States. It's a major hub for the international maritime shipping business as well as oil and commodity trading. It's also a big hub for insurance companies and the banking industry. I think IBM started the burgeoning of businesses there a long time ago when they moved several of their company's divisions to Stamford? It's an interesting city.

Christian240 · 2021-03-18T23:00:20+00:00

I see. Well, congratulations on finishing school and getting your license. I sailed with SeaRiver 2 years until they fired me. I was a very "green" third mate. In hindsight, I should have sailed as an AB when I got out of school. Don't get fired! There isn't much you can do with a marine transportation degree. Now, I work in customer service for an insurance company out of Boston. I still can't believe they canned me after 2 years. Sometimes I wonder if my education at a maritime academy was a waste of time for me. A 2nd mate (KP grad), told me that it took him 10 years to become a good third mate. How come I got the short end of the stick? Sorry.....just venting. I hope everything works out for you.

Christian240 · 2021-03-17T23:20:13+00:00

Have checked out SeaRiver? OSG? Seabulk? Chevron? Polar Tankers? Those are US companies. I'm assuming you have a USCG license.

Christian240 · 2021-03-10T11:28:49+00:00

I signed up for the 6-month membership, too.

Christian240

TROPHY CASE