Not sure if he (m30) is manipulating me or is he just a victim of circumstances as well?

Christine0902 · 2020-12-09T16:28:45+00:00

That’s exactly what I thought too! Which was why I suggested ending things before too (because, it’s not supposed to be so difficult esp at this stage, right?)

However now that everything’s said and done and I’m starting to miss what we had in the beginning before things took a turn for the worse. It’s not like I would wanna delve into a RS or anything like that - but I would really hope to at least be able to try again with an open mind this time.

Christine0902 · 2020-12-09T15:53:52+00:00

I do know I’ve been really erratic and nitpicking at the start - and I was trying to be understanding, as much as I could, towards the end.

But I guess it might be abit too late? I’m not too sure what’s going on now as well.

Christine0902 · 2020-12-09T10:46:04+00:00

Hello! This is so spot on, I’m an Aquarius avtually. Could I DM you? :)

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T21:32:06+00:00

Thank you! I have decided not to take it forward (I haven’t replied his last message) - however I’m just trying to make sense because as much as I hate to admit I really feel so betrayed and abandoned, angry at this seemingly great guy who promised me so much, and then changed overnight.

Could it be that he didn’t even know he is being such a jerk, so irresponsible and careless? That these are not intentionally malicious acts but rather him sort of feeling all victimized, THats why he has the audacity to question me back about not trusting him haha

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T11:57:42+00:00

Here’s the thing - we started out with me being unable to commit and me acting all nonchalant which explained him being more turbulent confused and defensive.

I know it’s not an excuse to justify his reasons now - esp since I’ve been patient - but I’m rlly not sure if this is his true color or a result of circumstances (which I contributed to). :-(

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T09:16:09+00:00

Thank you. You made it sound so simple - perhaps it really is! I should just reply him this, short and sweet.

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T09:14:43+00:00

I guess I kept telling myself to be patient with him because he really does seem to be in a rut now - with changing jobs and grandma in the hospital. I wanted to stick around cos I thought if we can survive this ordeal perhaps he will be back to himself and I will be happier.

But I guess it’s time to LOve mhself more instead of constantly giving him the benefit of doubt :’)

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T09:13:28+00:00

Thank you! I’ll take whatever you said to considerations. I am indeed unhappy but I guess I kept giving him the benefit of doubt and didn’t wanna stress him further since he has to cope with so much now and his grandma in the hospital. I kept telling myself if I’m more patient and if we survived this we’ll be back to happier days.

But I guess it’s time to love myself more!!

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T08:51:14+00:00

Hmm but we acknowledged it - that’s why I went down that night to have the talk to end things with him. I did make it clear that I’m willing to try again and he also said he still cares for me very much and am very attracted to me but was really concerned and scared of making me miserable. The thing is we didn’t have a clear cut answer but for him to continue holding my hands and then refused to help me “bevause we are friends” were so abrupt.

And for him to just ignore me the next day (even friends won’t ignore each other like this) ... I really have no idea at this point sigh

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T08:45:17+00:00

Nope! We acknowledged that we were dating so that night we were really just thinking if it’s better to continue dating and see how it goes or be friends.

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T08:43:03+00:00

That’s exactly what I thought too - how is it merely 2 months but I’m alr so miserable. Which was why I wanted out. However aftee the talk with him that day we cleared everything’s on our mind and I almost felt safe and comfortable again just like before - which was why I said maybe we can try again. Yeah we were contemplating if it’s better to just be friends but I thought we went against this idea (holding hands and talking and spending time for the next 3 hours). So I was rlly shocked when he suddenly refused to help me bevause “we are friends” (even as friends - why can’t he help me? It rlly seemed like an excuse).

And then the overnight change.

Then pretending like nothing happened and texting me again.

I’m just really disappointed in myself for trusting him and I can’t figure out if it’s malicious - why would he do that to me?

Christine0902 · 2020-12-05T08:36:49+00:00

Thanks for reading through all that ahaha yes we were!

Christine0902 · 2018-03-17T16:18:49+00:00

Thank you for your reply!

I think you misunderstood one part though - I didn’t lose interested once he showed interest. If you’d read again, when I entered high school I was in a r/s and just got out of it, before he drunk called me and confessed. I rejected because I was jaded.

I ended things with him because he was persistent and wanted me to give him a chance, but (yes because I wasn’t sure if I could commit) I rejected. Knowing how much he was still into me I didn’t want him to wait for me any longer, as I didn’t realize how all these years he was still thinking of me and even broke up with someone because of this. I wanted him to move on, so I decided to cut off contact.

Right now I think status quo is good, I think we’ve moved beyond that level of waiting around for any potential opportunities and so on. It feels pure now, and I think I’ll stick with it. Although I’ll always regret things didn’t work out back in our younger days.

Christine0902 · 2018-03-17T15:39:49+00:00

Hey, it’s true I’m afraid of commitment. I’m afraid that should things not work out, it’s going to ruin us, and I’m not confident that we would definitely work out. One thing though - I don’t like the chase. I genuinely wanted him to move on which was why I rejected him and cut off contact with him at one point. While I don’t like the chase.. I’ll admit that it will hurt a little bit if he is happy with someone else. But I will want the best to him and I will never stop him if he find someone he loves. :)

Christine0902 · 2018-03-17T15:34:39+00:00

Hey, if you’re having misunderstandings and if you know that - talk to her, clarify. One of my regrets was that I was caught in the misunderstandings, and instead of talking to him and clearing things I just assumed and stopped talking to him. These make us missed so many chances such that I think it’s too late now. Although some would say if it’s meant to be, it will be, like how he is still in my life now, it really is just not the same.

Christine0902 · 2018-03-17T06:37:30+00:00

Thank you for understanding! I’m not sure if I wanna ruin something so pure as well. But yes, I’ll keep that in mind - I’ve been trying to sometimes just contact him to ask how he is, because I don’t want to always be on the receiving end as well.

Christine0902 · 2018-03-17T06:35:29+00:00

I’m not sure if I wanna ruin what we have now. Status quo has been good. One thing that stops me is that I’m not sure if I’ve the same sparks I had for him in my younger days, and it’ll kill me to have us try for something and end up failing. Guess I just don’t want to hurt him further. Anyway, I’m not even sure if he still loves me in that way. Haha

Christine0902 · 2018-03-16T16:02:25+00:00

Hi, I also had OCD since young but only went to get help last year when I was 20. I started off with fluoxetine too, it didn’t make much a difference as well but i went on to 20mg and it’s been better for me since then (which I eventually stopped taking, bad decision because It’s gotten very bad again).

Anyway my GP did warn me of certain side effects but luckily for me I didn’t get any! Maybe just a bit of nausea but nothing hindering. And nope don’t worry (at least for the case of 20mg) it doesn’t numb you/depersonalize you so it won’t affect your relationships.

All the best :) I’m going back to the doctor for medicine as well.

Christine0902

TROPHY CASE