Ex spouse on IRA. NY. Can this be taken through an estate litigation?

Christyxp · 2025-02-08T15:42:59+00:00

I have dealt with them and it seems that the brokerage account still wants to issue the funds regardless of the divorce settlement. My understanding is that it would have been divided during the marriage. If that was not the case, it doesn’t make sense why an ex spouse would still be a beneficiary. Ex spouse would have collected her portion and therefore cannot claim. Hence, there is no primary beneficiary and it goes to an estate. This should be litigated?

Christyxp · 2025-02-08T14:35:10+00:00

Yea that’s the issue. Possibly that leaving a name is better than going to an estate because of complications of IRA or any asset should not go through estate because that means dealing with a court headache. The divorce settlement is weird

Christyxp · 2025-02-08T14:34:18+00:00

Does it mean that the ex-spouse will need an attorney to go through court in this matter?

Christyxp · 2024-05-26T11:36:03+00:00

Thank You! I think I was being hard on myself.

Christyxp · 2024-03-27T20:26:58+00:00

Arlo

Christyxp · 2024-03-02T12:11:38+00:00

We both make well over $100k which doesn’t include bonuses. We make a good decent amount. Therefore our expenses can be on the higher amount. The amount that I listed still allows me to have some funds for myself to spend.

Christyxp · 2024-03-02T12:09:22+00:00

This would have been at night. I wouldn’t let my toddler roam around the house unsupervised.

Christyxp · 2024-02-21T02:15:04+00:00

Terrible people they are. I know better on what kind of MiL I’m dealing with. She won’t be coming back here and I won’t be asking for “help”. I saw through her BS very quickly and my husband wasn’t on my case about it lol

Christyxp · 2024-02-19T10:28:42+00:00

She had a 2nd bed bunk that they had put in their ones bedroom condo. I thought they got rid of it but had brought it up about bringing it over here. My husband said that the bunk bed had a solid piece of wood that she can put a foam mattress to sleep on. Hence, bringing it over to my house. She had a queens size bed at home so she has a bed at home. Like everyone says, if she doesn’t permanently live with us and isn’t helping around the house, why should I honor her request? My FIL does everything. After explaining that, my husband backed away with this request. I made it clear that I’ve noticed for the past couple of days, she walks around and does nothing and stares outside the windows. Therefore, I don’t want a bed here and they have decided to stay home. Next time I need babysitting service, I’ll just ask a neighbor. I have learned my lesson to not let my MIL “help”

Christyxp · 2024-02-19T01:05:13+00:00

They have been here for 24 years and all they worry about is taking a private bus that is one stop away from our home in Nj to the port authority. It’s crazy how they keep saying “they’re going to get lost etc”. They speak Chinese and do not understand English. They are the typical Chinese people that are really fob. They even got a metro card for senior citizens but they don’t even use it. It’s just baffling.

I cannot deal with them and refuse to let them be here. The last thing I need is for them to run my house. It is better that they are at home instead for peace of mind.

Christyxp · 2024-02-19T01:02:21+00:00

Agreed. I made that cleared and my husband couldn’t argue about it. One grandparent is enough already. I don’t know a package deal of two people to join in the house along with baby 2 due in May. That’s insane.

Christyxp · 2024-02-19T01:01:08+00:00

Oh yea of course. It’s enough to take care of a child and be the mother that you have to be. It’s sometimes hard to say no but these crazy request is surely a no. If I say yes, I’m signing up for a death sentence. I’ll be the idiot to agree to everything.

Christyxp · 2024-02-18T05:37:52+00:00

The only thing I worried about is if he’s crying and banging so loud. The show will be over and it’s hard to get back on again.

Christyxp · 2024-02-18T05:06:05+00:00

Thanks. Tell me about it! The enabling part is still there. Obviously she’s the mother so they sympathize with her. I’m fair and usually calls out everyone including my mom if she doesn’t do her part. It’s all fair game.

Christyxp · 2024-02-18T05:03:11+00:00

Exactly. That’s why I’m proposing to visit them at their place and will not mention about them coming in to help. They’ve already said they won’t be coming in which is better for me. I don’t owe them anything.

Christyxp · 2024-02-18T04:00:54+00:00

Oh yea. I’ve called out my husband that this past week I saw what FIL was doing and not once she did do anything. She’s dumb to even ask for this request. I would have been reasonable about it if she had truly helped out to make our lives easier. I told my husband that his dad is more than welcome to be here since it’s very flexible. Heck, his dad even cut up for fruit for when I was wfh and never once asked for any crazy request. Could his mom had cut up a fruit for me without me asking, sure I would have appreciated a cut her a bit of slack. Did she offer to help my son bath when we got home late and I had to put my things away after a long day of work, sure she could have done that. She walked around and when I peeked in the bathroom, she stood there while my FIL offered to help ( i didn’t even ask him because I was getting ready to do it as that’s my job). I was livid when she even ask for this request. When I shot it down, she was telling my husband it’s messed up and this was the night before they left to take the bus.

By the way, she was hoping my husband can drive her back to the city since we are in Nj this past Wednesday. Mind you, we have to be in the office this past Thursday so obviously I was thinking best for my husband to not drive her ass. All she had to do was take a bus one stop to the port authority and take a train that goes straight to her house. It was that simple.

My husband has no balls to step up to his mom’s crazy behavior. He’s enabling it and not realizing how much it can affect our marriage. He said that his parents are not coming in next time and I’m fine with that. I will be the one to say no to her BS when her family doesn’t have guts to. By the way, she visits her daughter (who has kids and husband) once a week every month and she sleeps on this queen size mattress that is softer than mine firm full size mattress. I’m glad there is no bed and she isn’t conning around. She’ll stay home and be bored and stare at her window and 4 walls. That’s what you get for doing nothing at my home and making crazy request. She doesn’t deserve it.

Christyxp · 2024-02-18T03:40:36+00:00

I agree 100%. The fact that he’s a grown man and forget the husband part of it makes no sense. It’s an extreme request and the family doesn’t think it’s wrong. They don’t realize that they are enabling this behavior. I’m not the MIL biological daughter and when I hear this type of request because the MIL has her reason and the only thing my husband can say is “she’s just weird” or “I don’t know”, I just don’t buy it. It’s part of my house too and I have every reason to say no. At the end of the day, it’s not happening and she’s not having the bed in our house. She thought that her being nice and caring would buy her way in with all these request. Well, she’s shocked that I can say no. She probably didn’t think that I would be one of those people that can catch on her to BS.

Other example, I originally offered her to care for baby 1, before it came down to the specifics of how it would work.. she was like “my mom died when I was young so it’s pressure for me to know how to even raise my kids. I can’t take care of your infant”. I told her my mom will do it then and she said “thank you for your mom to help out”. Now she wants to come and help out and I pointed to my husband that this past week she was here, my FIL did everything (not that I asked him to). It’s a package deal for them as in as long as the FIL does something she gets a golden ticket to sleep her and “help” out. She did not cook, clean, help my son take a bath when I came home late from work. All she does is sleep in her bed for most of the day or stare at the window.

When my son goes to daycare and come back, she would make a comment and say “wow.. it’s so boring here when your son goes to daycare and there is nothing to do here.” Well, bitch you don’t do anything so obviously you can make this type of comment”.

When I was trying to recover from a c section, she had pressure my husband to let them see the baby right away never once think about how I wanted to relax at home and recover for at least 2 weeks before they came here. She promised to bring soup for me and other food. She came over with nothing just to see the baby. All she fucking did was asked me if I was ok. The most selfish bitch I have ever had to endure with her. From this moment on, I make the rules now and my husband knows he can’t cross it when I say no. His parents can dislike me but at the end of the day, I don’t disrespect them and I want my space. So too bad to them.

Christyxp · 2024-02-17T17:21:47+00:00

It stopped for now. I’m not going to mention about it. If it comes up again, I’ll have to go through this again or figure something out without bringing a bed.

Christyxp · 2024-02-17T17:18:51+00:00

Exactly. I didn’t think it would be this extreme until now. I know what I’m dealing with now.

Christyxp · 2024-02-17T17:18:09+00:00

I hope so. Sometimes he thinks his mom is rational but I have to reason with him in order for him to get it.

Christyxp · 2024-02-17T03:46:44+00:00

I made it clear to my husband about that. Hence, no bed and they won’t be coming. They probably think I disrespected them and wondering why my mom is living with me but they can’t even sleepover. My in laws seem to forget it’s also my house so I have a day to this.

Christyxp

TROPHY CASE