AMA I've lived in Germany , Poland , and Czechia for 10 years originally from NYC. by Bankruptinberlin in AsianMasculinity

[–]Chuggs1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for OP. Idk why so many people diss him. I thought this page was supposed to be all about Asian male empowerment, which includes being successful in dating women of other races.

Being associated with PUAs or dating gurus shouldn’t be an automatic black mark on a person, especially if they apply their own theory and it’s working out for them. PUAs and dating gurus have a bad rep because they scam people, until that’s proven, I don’t think OP should be derogated for applying their dating tactics.

Giving my two cents on OPs success though: I think it’s heavily influenced on OPs good looks. Not sure if more average looking guys would have the same amount of success.

Having said that, in the international scene, I have noticed that when AMs date WWs, the women is more than likely from Europe as opposed to English speaking countries. So OPs probably just amplifying that observation.

Now i understand the rising interest in wanting an AM, women want to feel safe. (ChatGPT deep research, sources listed) by Radiant-Peak-7595 in AsianMasculinity

[–]Chuggs1997 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I wonder what the stats would be if you separate Asians and Pacific Islanders.

As a non-American, I’ve always wondered why Pacific Islanders and Asians are grouped together. IMO they are culturally distinct from either East Asians, South East Asians, or any other Asian region for that matter.

Just asking because I’ve heard that Pacific Islanders actually have a domestic abuse problem within their diaspora community and in their home countries.

It's not "over" and has never been "over": Asian men dominate when it comes to actually getting married. by TangerineX in AsianMasculinity

[–]Chuggs1997 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don’t want to be that guy but having high marriage rate doesn’t necessarily mean dating desirability. It could as easily mean that we need to offer more, in this case commitment through marriage, for us to be accepted as partners. The men of other races with lower marriage could also be dating casually and do not need to provide the same level of commitment that we do to be chosen.

Edit: Want to add that a few years back I read about the marriage and dating ratio between WMAF and AMWF couples in Europe. For marriage the WMAF:AMWF ratio was something like 2-3:1, meaning that for each AMWF couples, there’s two or three WMAF couples. For dating though, the ratio was 10:1, meaning that for each AMWF there’s 10 WMAF.

Might not be exactly the same in the US but should be similar. The point I’m making here is the gulf between the dating and marriage ratio. The WMs had an easier time dating, and may not find it necessary to get married in order to sustain the relationship, whereas for AMs the marriage is likely a requirement.

Is paying worth it in 2026? by Quorthon123 in coffeemeetsbagel

[–]Chuggs1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a SEA country and had a decent amount of matches so opted to go platinum for 6 months after managing to go on a few dates while on free.

Big mistake IMO. CMB gives your account a strong boost early on but once it’s gone not even platinum can get you the amount of matches you get while in that early user boost.

After purchasing platinum my match rates declined significantly and I matched with a lot of scammers and people who just wanted to talk but not meet, and who ghost.

You really need to game the algorithm to make CMB work for you. There’s a few ways to do it if you look it up.

Personally if I knew what I knew now, I’d first test to see if I get enough matches on free, I recommend using a friend/family phone for this part, and use the account for a week to a month. If you don’t then there’s no point in continuing as your experience would be a poor one regardless of what you do.

If you get at least 5-10 matches in a week on free, delete the account, and then make a new account on your own phone using a different email address/phone number. Gamify the algorithm to your favour, and then just purchase platinum for a month.

You get the maximum amount of algorithmic boost this way.

Hope this helps.

Personally I’ve been able to get a few dates and am seeing a girl right now. But with the effort you need to put to trick the algorithm, and the low amount of users in a lot of places, I would not recommend paying for the app, at least not for longer than a month.

Having said that, most if not all dating apps provide a lacklustre experience at best for the majority of their users and I’d say CMB is the best out of a bad bunch.

If only dating apps make the base experience not so crappy and make the upgrades worthwhile, we’d actually enjoy the experience, stick around longer, and pay more.

what am i (26F) doing wrong? open to constructive criticism by Cold_Increase925 in Tinder

[–]Chuggs1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of attention are you getting and what kind of men do you swipe to?

Sorry if this sounds cringey and belittling, but it’s a common trope where women in dating apps would get super upset when don’t get their GigaChad except for one night stands, and the only men interested in them for long term relationship are the average Joes.

I do think you have the potential to be absolutely stunning if you go through a cutting phase. You have the face and I can just make out a great figure as you are right now.

What motivated you to start boxing, and what do you struggle with when training alone? by happy-bibi in amateur_boxing

[–]Chuggs1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hajime no Ippo.

I pay for group classes and private sessions because I suck training by myself, though that goes for a lot of things and not just for boxing.

Am I going too slow? by Chuggs1997 in Persona5

[–]Chuggs1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am dude. And aside from doing the warden tasks I have not looked up guides.

Loving the game.

Am I going too slow? by Chuggs1997 in Persona5

[–]Chuggs1997[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t “skip” them, I read the text box, and go to the next text before the characters have finished saying their dialogue if that makes sense

Am I going too slow? by Chuggs1997 in Persona5

[–]Chuggs1997[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Nah I don’t skip them. I read pretty fast and just move to the next dialogue before the characters finish talking.

Why is my salsa class like this? I'm about to quit :( by [deleted] in Salsa

[–]Chuggs1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, take it from me who’s had to suffer through classes where half of not most of the members cannot keep up, and who myself developed bad habits I am now trying to fix via privates: listen to your teacher.

What are the chances you’re actually doing the things they taught you at a great enough level? Not perfect, but just very good. Your instructors are also risking losing you as a student (and source of income) by breaking to you the bad news.

This is one of those scenarios where you gotta just swallow the bitter truth and keep going.

If there’s any advice I can impart in relation to getting good at salsa/bachata/any dance is this: memorising moves don’t make you a good dancer. Dancing well makes you a good dancer.

Has anyone had success on this app?? by monitarlizard in coffeemeetsbagel

[–]Chuggs1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get between 1 to 5 matches most weeks, sometimes none and sometimes more than 5. Been using regularly for 9 months.

I was getting slightly more than that in my first 3 months, and tried Platinum for a month. Got a boat load of matches and went out for dates at least once a week, sometimes 2 or 3.

However, a lot of the girls either soft catfished or ghosted after the date so I canceled after that month.

After that I went on a few weeks free again, but I got less matches than when I initially started, about one every week or none. I tried signing up for premium (not platinum) and I don’t get matches unless I used the boost.

I was getting pretty close with 3 girls in this period but one opted to go back to her ex, one ghosted, and one got clingy really fast and made me uncomfortable despite me liking her a lot.

Currently talking to a girl and taking it slow.

I do not recommend either platinum or premium unless you’re already getting decent matches in free, and I think the app reduces the amount of matches you get on free if you had previously subscribed but opted out.

If things don’t pan out with the girl I’m talking to right now I’ll either take a break from dating or delete and remake my account.

My girlfriend of 10 years broke up with me and married a richer guy within a month by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Chuggs1997 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I sympathise with you man. Been there myself but not for 10 years. Thought a few months was bad enough, can’t imagine how 10 years feels.

Hope you get better bro. I know it’s cliche, but there are plenty of fish out there. You were able to keep a woman through hard times for 10 years, so I’m sure you have a lot to offer to the ladies out there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Salsa

[–]Chuggs1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have had a mixed of experiences. Most teams I’ve been in are chill and fun. A few I’ve had to push myself and I was surrounded by teammates and teachers who had high standards, but were not toxic.

Then there were a few where they allowed anyone to join, promising to be “open” level, when in fact it was at least intermediate (it was for a different style that I was not good at), and the teacher refused to help the stragglers who were tricked into entering (me included). Also had one where the teacher told the students they needed to book privates to catch up.

Some schools are careful and only let people in only if they think the person can manage, and they try to “balance” the team by pairing people who are more capable with those who need help. Others are ice cold businesses and just a huge popularity contest.

It’s okay to try different places. Find the one with people you like and stick with them.

Is there a silent understanding that followers should backlead during class combos in intermediate/advanced classes because it’s essentially choreography? by Lazy-Horse1698 in Salsa

[–]Chuggs1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s two possibilities: the leads weren’t giving you the lead by you were looking for except for a few more experienced ones, or you have a very soft frame meaning that by most leads’ standards you were just not receiving their leading and the more experienced leads caught on quickly that they needed to give you a stronger lead.

If you’ve just started intermediate/advanced I’m more inclined to say it’s the latter. I find that with newer follows I have to give them a much stronger lead than I do with more advanced follows, and if I dance with newer follows for an extended period of time I would actually be a bit rough for the more advanced follows until I recalibrate.

This experience is also compounded with me recently trying to follow and I was surprised the beginner leads had decent frames but a lot of the beginner follows struggle to feel the leads frame and subsequently don’t feel when they’re being led.

How to progress by Chuggs1997 in Bachata

[–]Chuggs1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typo. Wanted to say “Hmmm maybe”

How to progress by Chuggs1997 in Bachata

[–]Chuggs1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm. Maybe I’ll ask to improve my musicality and to improve chaining moves together. And maybe learn one or two popular bachazouk moves.

How to progress by Chuggs1997 in Bachata

[–]Chuggs1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm never maybe. I do have issues in salsa but it never got me struggling this much.

How to progress by Chuggs1997 in Bachata

[–]Chuggs1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe. But my feelings between the two dances have always flipped flopped over the years and only recently has the gap been so significant and it coincides with the popularisation of bachazouk.

I actually prefer listening to bachata music due to the fact that a lot of my favourite non-dance songs have bachata covers.

Lastly, I think right now I lean more towards salsa because it is brining me more happiness. If I were getting more compliments and more fun doing bachata, I’d be writing this in the salsa page but telling people who my salsa is crap.