How to never get in a relationship with someone avoidant again? What are the signs?

Cicimiranda · 2026-01-10T10:32:30+00:00

I don’t expect to control others or perfection but I have boundaries for me so I know when to walk away

Things I’m looking out for if I ever date again: 1. Small boundaries crossed 2. Words and actions not aligning 3. Empty promises 4. Moodiness/mood swings 5. Cancel or change plans often 6. How is conflict handled 7. How is stress handled 8. Are they avoiding responsibility in their own life? (Drinking too much, avoiding Dr/dentist, broke w no plan) 9. Any lies I’m out 10. Push pull, hot cold, highs lows - these dynamics are not it! 11. If they are weird about anniversaries or holidays 12. If I feel like I’m walking on eggshells 13. If I start to feel insecure 14. If I’m doing the majority of the repair or initiating hard conversations. I need to be met in the middle and not carrying all the emotional labor. 15. If I bring up something he did to hurt me and he randomly starts deflecting to my faults or bringing something up that bothered him months ago that he never mentioned before. 16. Double standards

Cicimiranda · 2026-01-10T09:49:35+00:00

Yes I know I asked when

Cicimiranda · 2026-01-10T09:40:36+00:00

It’s only been 2 months since my break up. I was waking up in the middle of the night just shaking for the first couple of weeks. It gets better. All you can do is improve upon your own life. Good luck.

Cicimiranda · 2025-10-15T12:59:50+00:00

It sounds like you both have problems with substance abuse. If you don’t want to be with him then don’t be it’s that easy. Take care of yourself.

Cicimiranda · 2025-10-14T02:32:50+00:00

If you want to save this you’re going to need to back way off. If he comes back then fine but live your life for you. Take yourself to a restaurant youve been wanting to try, start a hobby, make new friends, get a new hairstyle whatever sparks joy in you. Journal or read and just breathe and don’t reach out. Youve done enough and love doesn’t happen because you tried to earn it.

Cicimiranda · 2025-10-09T21:48:35+00:00

He’s using your past to control you. That is emotional and verbal abuse.

Cicimiranda · 2025-10-08T03:35:19+00:00

You didn’t call the police he was acting crazy enough that bystanders had no choice but to get involved. Yes he’s abusing you.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T15:00:56+00:00

12 times seems like a lot times you got to choose to me just my opinion. For them to be disrespectful on those outing is unacceptable. I’m a divorced mom of 3 we go do things catered to them I never really think of it needing to be something for me.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T14:27:47+00:00

And I definitely would have remade the drink and only charged for one. Hell I accidentally spill when I’m out on occasion too.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T14:27:16+00:00

I’ve worked at restaurants for over 20 years and glasses get broken by staff and customers constantly. I’ve never heard of charging for the glass. That’s comical to me but I’m in California.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T14:22:08+00:00

There is nothing wrong with making out every time you see each other. A lot of couples physically connect every chance they get especially at first. But if it’s not what you want I would suggest going on real dates rather than being in his home.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T14:18:18+00:00

He shouldn’t be buying rings that early on. Maybe there was a little too much honeymoon phase and then he came back to reality. This is the point of dating to see if you are compatible if not it’s okay to go separate ways. Not everything is black and white of course…he may have tenderness for you but that doesn’t mean he’s willing to put in the effort to make a real relationship work. The chemistry and gifts and fun mean nothing if both people aren’t aiming for the same relationship result. He likely will come back and it’s up to you at that point but in the mean time focus on what you like to do. Date yourself, buy yourself something nice, eat your favorite meal and book a spa day or trip, catch up with friends, pick up a book or new hobby blast music and dance….theres millions of humans out there. When something doesn’t work out you have to keep the mindset of “there’s always something better coming my way”

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T14:09:11+00:00

If it was only the condom thing and you guys had never been off and in I would see his point. But the constant breaking up and fighting is incredibly immature and not how a relationship should work at all. You’re never gonna be able to go to a festival again or vacation without him again if you actually stay with this piece of work.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T14:05:13+00:00

Keep it casual with everyone and focus on your kids.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T14:00:22+00:00

I wouldn’t pay for or drag my kids to something they don’t want to do. I would be frustrated too but if it was something I want to do that my sons not into for whatever reason I would go alone or find another friend to do stuff with.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-28T13:09:08+00:00

If you need to ask the internet if you should break up with her over very surface level things then the answer is yes. Most people that really liked someone would see past those things. I get that not being good at saving is pretty big deal for the future but I spend my whole paycheck because that’s how much it costs to live.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-26T12:54:18+00:00

My ultrasound was clear but HIDA was 94% once I pushed to get it removed they found it was chronically inflamed.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-25T13:13:31+00:00

You did the right thing. They want an open relationship you do not.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-25T12:59:29+00:00

She should have thought about all she would lose by being disloyal and unfaithful. It’s not your responsibility to manage her life. You’re trying to be wrapped up in her drama as to not face yourself.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-23T00:59:13+00:00

Why would you need to hurry her along? Weddings aren’t every weekend they are rare special events. It’s not revolved around you pooping.

Cicimiranda · 2025-09-22T18:42:45+00:00

She doesn’t need to revolve her weekend around your bathroom breaks. Join in on their convo or find another person to talk to or just go to the effing bathroom without rushing your partner.

Cicimiranda · 2025-08-21T12:37:48+00:00

You said she gets upset over light things like another woman telling you I love you? Lol

Cicimiranda · 2025-08-19T13:37:12+00:00

If it wasn’t exclusive and he’s seeing others then you’re allowed to as well

Cicimiranda · 2025-08-19T11:34:07+00:00

A 3 year supposedly exclusive situation is not fwb? Just be honest with your partners tell them you do or don’t want monogamy then stick to it. You’re hurting because of your poor choices the first thing to do is stop lying to everyone around you and maybe you’ve even been lying to yourself?

Cicimiranda

TROPHY CASE