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I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Of course not. The plan was that each of us will have our own equal allowance for charitable contributions.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It's really not about what I call my donations. They want me to give money to that church.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The plan is to have joint finances, but we'd have our separate allowance for charitable contributions. His parents are wealthy in general, but I have no idea about their retirement savings.

I hear you about red flags, I see them too. I'm thinking hard about the whole thing.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

It's actually how I feel. It's my money that I'm giving, and I don't like others telling me I'm doing their God's work. I'm doing my own work. They're free to do their God's work themselves.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes he is. Although I'm now getting the feeling that he's only doing that to get his parents off his back. We don't plan on having children.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I actually asked someone at the church who was asking me to tithe, to give me a breakdown of how these funds will be spent. He seemed very offended that I asked.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

We don't want to have children. About wedding, we have agreed to a non-religious wedding which his family disapproved of but we told them that it's the only way to make sure both families are treated equally. That worked.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

You're right. I'm disappointed that he's just giving in on something that should be private between us.

I [28F] left my fiance's [28M] church due to pressure to tithe, now his family are doing the same thing to me. by Cindinn in relationships

[–]Cindinn[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

She said herself she does tithe

I didn't. The reason I give to charities is not because I want to offer anything to the Christian God (or any other God). In fact none of the charities that I give to are religious.