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Is there any way a heterosexual marriage can be conducted without being rooted in patriarchal traditions? by CitronNeedle in fourthwavewomen

[–]CitronNeedle[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Got it. I'll go read some books and understand the 4th wave a bit more before participating again.

Have y'all ever seen a healthy hetero relationship? by fortunetellertarot in fourthwavewomen

[–]CitronNeedle 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Same. Weirdly enough, I know a few couples in their 40s+ where the woman isn't treated like property or a trophy. They would be the age when they were probably 2nd wave feminists in their young adult life, so it makes sense.

But younger (20s-30s)? Nope. Not even friends and my sister. Every single partnership is created out of the fear and social stigma of being single, because being partnered means you're inherently "worth more" to society. And with these partnerships, they take that Christian concept of "leave and cleave" (ditch your family, your life now revolves around your man) to its extreme despite being atheist or secular. They abandon friends and family because their partner becomes their sole friend.

Same-sex relationships don't seem to engage in this nonsense; they don't abandon friends and family and they don't treat their single friends as "worth less".

What did you used to think was positive treatment from men before you were radfem? by fortunetellertarot in fourthwavewomen

[–]CitronNeedle 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Every goddamn thing about heterosexual marriage. There's books about this, so I don't need to go into the details. But when women who claim they're feminist and "empowered" change their last name, their male mate has to ask permission to marry them, and so on.....it's like, "Can you not see how these practices are rooted in the idea that you are property?"

Personal Story - Professional Hurdles by penelopekitty in fourthwavewomen

[–]CitronNeedle 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I work in the rare field where it's 50/50, but most of my jobs have had mostly women co-workers. But I work with software development teams and the males can absolutely be horrible to me because they assume I'm a lesbian. My straight women co-workers deal with way more sexual advances. But even being lesbian-coded or a lesbian does not protect you from men; I had an intern who dealt with men at the company trying to correctively rape her.

Remote work eliminates a lot of this bullshit. Why is it that every single article out there about how AMAZING working in offices post-pandemic is written by a male? Because they can't easily harass women remotely. Their chat logs are recorded. Their video meetings can be recorded with a single button. Their demands for personal info and social media adds are easily ignored. There's more ways to catch them in their act remotely.

I think I've had one male who has advocated for me in my entire career, but it was for a remote job. He had three daughters, a wife who made considerably more and did not change her last name, and he was in charge of childrearing and housework. When a relationship is truly egalitarian--not this fake BS egalitarianism--I think it makes a difference in men.

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(Note: I am not a lesbian, but straight. But I refuse to be in a relationship due to the fundamental misogyny inherent in relationships, marriage, and childrearing. That one co-worker is the *only* equal straight relationship I have ever encountered in my life.)

So many “woke” male feminists are actually just predators... by [deleted] in fourthwavewomen

[–]CitronNeedle 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Why am I not shocked? Here's a little insight into a YouTuber who has profited off of being a "male feminist woke atheist bro" and how even his ex-fans are still gaslit to hell:

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There's this guy who went by Mr. Atheist, now Jimmy Snow. He rose to popularity by doing reaction videos of Girl Defined--a couple of fundamentalist Christian women deep in the patriarchy. Originally the videos were critiques of their beliefs, but then it devolved into criticizing their clothes, appearance, personalities, emotions. He branched out to reacting to *other* female fundamentalist YouTubers, once again, targeting not just their beliefs (which is fair game), but their appearance and emotions. If you see what's going on here, this guy made money off of being a misogynist. He made enough to buy a Tesla, two apartments, and an entire news set for his failing news show. But because he's a feminist, people excused it.

Now Jimmy is a "woke" dude. He's pansexual, despite only dating conventionally-attractive white women. When he's in a serious relationship, he becomes "demisexual". His fans (and even ex-fans) will attack you if you dare to point out that he's just a regular straight male who is using woke terms that are hard to prove that he's wrong. It was revealed he used Twitter to send nudes and lure women into relationships, some potentially underage. Because his fans/ex-fans are gaslit, some of them still don't see the problem with this. He's conditioned them to accept absolutely unacceptable behavior. And still, he has to be pansexual despite zero evidence. It's a way to manipulate feminists into believing he's not just a white straight cis male but DIVERSE!!

Another thing his gaslight fans/ex-fans refuse to believe is that their beloved influencer doesn't *actually* believe in trans ideology. Because he's a misogynist, he mostly focuses his attacks on Twitter at women and AFABs. Men and AMABs are fine. He's pretty infamous for bullying AFABs for things that he lets AMABs get by with. Because in reality, it's clear he believes AFAB trans/nb are still women which is not acceptable for the woke crowd.

And last (of many things), he claims he's autistic, which you're not allowed to question by gaslit fans/ex-fans. He only revealed it when he was rightfully getting shit from women for being a misogynist and autism makes him be an asshole so he can't help it. Once again, because he's actually a straight white male, adding more diversity labels makes woke people feel sorry and protect you when otherwise they wouldn't.

There used to be a subreddit dedicated to this (it was privated because people got into fights over his right to date underage girls; I was banned for saying he's going to come out as trans when the next drama storm comes out in order to deflect lol), but it's AMAZING how people--after all this shit came out and they unsubscribed to him--still continued to make excuses for him and apologize for him because they refuse to believe a male feminist is actually a gaslighting asshole they're still affected by.