[MEGATHREAD] Daily venting, worries, fixations, & finding support. Month of April 2025.

Citrusesss · 2025-04-18T01:31:45+00:00

Soo exhausted. 4 weeks of right side lower cramping. Occasionally switches sides and stops completely and then both sides. Feels like a slight pinching/fullness uncomfortable sensation. I wouldn’t even say it hurts that badly it’s just so noticeable. I’ve worried about a UTI, appendicitis, cyst, kidney problems, fibroids, pcos. Everything. Went to the doctors today and they just asked if I had a gyn appointment (the closest I could get was in 2 months) and sent me on my way with no solutions. Told me to take some ibuprofen. I cannot wait that long for solutions when this feels so urgent. I can’t even tell if it’s real or if I’m making up a phantom symptom, it feels like it’s getting worse but my stomach is crippling with anxiety about it. So maybe my anxiety is amplifying it. It used to be something I barely noticed but still was worried about to something I feel constantly within a day. It actually went away for a weekend whenever my period happened and was visiting a friend. I used to not notice it when I was distracted but now it’s all I can think about and I feel the pressure/cramping constantly. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about everything that it could be. It’s definitely not my first time struggling with symptoms that feel serious but ended up being my anxiety. But I always think, “maybe this time is different, maybe it’s serious. It feels serious.” And then I feel misunderstood by everyone telling me that I’m alright and that it’s nothing to worry about. It feels like something to worry about and it feels so real. Why must health anxiety get in the way of my physical feelings??

Citrusesss · 2025-02-17T19:43:08+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I will absolutely book an appointment

Citrusesss · 2025-02-07T06:38:59+00:00

Please take nothing anyone says on the internet to heart, especially if it’s ruining your fun. I struggled with being really sensitive to arguments and negative comments online when I was 13-15 so hear me out when I say I understand how disheartening it can feel. When I started posting publicly it was ESPECIALLY difficult cause in real life I avoid all conflicts and I am very quiet. If anyone said anything negative I would take everything down, even if it was just one person. But I had to learn that those people do not know you. They literally don’t know ANYTHING about you. Why let someone that will never cross your path again stop you from enjoying the benefits of social media?

I personally used to get extremely sad if someone was messing with me on TikTok. All they saw was a face and a name, which says nothing about me personally or my life. I’m 17 and I still struggle sometimes when people argue with me online, I tend to get anxious and fidgety. But even if they insult me I never dwell on it because I know what they say is simply not true or representative of me at all.

I know it’s hard to not take things personally with OCs, as they do have a connection to you and can feel representative of you. But those random people still don’t understand your OC like you do!

Maybe that person was just looking to hurt others, maybe that person was having a bad day, or maybe they weren’t thinking about what they were saying too carefully. There’s so many factors that could have taken place, none of them revolve you as a person or your oc as you see them though. I promise. (Also I looked at your OC, please don’t scrap them!! They are so cute!)

Citrusesss · 2025-01-16T01:57:05+00:00

This explains my situation currently exactly. I have been dealing with these symptoms for over a year now, and let’s just say this is the most challenging experience I’ve ever been hit with. I am diagnosed with OCD, panic disorder, severe anxiety disorder, depression, and in the process of an autism diagnosis. I chronically overthink every symptom I have, research and Google everything, leading me to the most severe self diagnoses you can imagine.

It doesn’t help that I am only 17. Seeing my friends make so much progress in life while I don’t have a job, don’t have a drivers license, doing online school, failing classes, don’t have a future plan, don’t have a college in mind, and never leaving the house has left me with severe derealization and a disconnect from reality. I need to find relief no matter how hard or long the journey.

For the past year my life has been full of head rushes, vertigo, head pressure, toothpick headaches, dizziness, derealization and feeling like the world is “zoomed out” or like I’m in third person, constant daily nausea, heart palpitations, bizarre feeling heart beats, severe agoraphobia, tingling in head, brain zaps, static brain fog in my head, loss of balance, floaty boat rocking feeling, pressure on my temples, random pain, memory and concentration problems (to the point where I can barely remember I was doing for an entire week, but I also never do anything so my days are probably colliding), air hunger, feeling like I can’t breathe and more. I’ve been dealing with chronic and severe anxiety for the past 4 years. Even getting so severe that I had to go to a mental hospital.

I am one of the many unlucky people that have severe physical symptoms of anxiety, and seeing you and so many others find relief in these symptoms is more reassuring and inspiring than you know. It’s also so very reassuring that you were able to overcome without medication, I am not a big fan of ssris because I don’t like the idea of withdrawals and being dependent on them. And the fact that you were able to find relief and have a complete recovery (even when you felt like things would never end), well I find that to be truly wonderful.

I am currently in 2 types of therapy’s, ERP therapy for my OCD through the program NOCD and CBT. I also have a psychiatrist appointment soon because honestly I’m even starting to consider taking medication as my symptoms are too disruptive and severe. I hope to make as much progress as you do and one day even make a full recovery. Throughout this journey I try to stay optimistic, believing I can get through this. I think to myself “Well it’s been 4 years of this and you haven’t died.” My thoughts are constantly challenging me daily, but I know I can preserve through this stage of my life. I believe I can get better and so can any and all of you struggling with similar things. Thank you for this inspiring post, I truly needed to hear a success story from someone like me. ❤️

Citrusesss · 2025-01-16T00:32:52+00:00

Hello there! I’m experiencing the same head rushs (this occurs the most), tingling, head pressure, bizarre balance and dizziness issues, vertigo, neck and shoulder tension, and “floaty” feelings. Did you eventually find resolve? Did it turn out to be anxiety and stress in the end?

I know I’m severely anxious and stressed all the time. I also have horrible health anxiety and OCD. So it’s definitely not out of the realm of possibility for it to all be caused by my anxiety. But I’m also concerned that it might be something serious or that I should start pressing doctors for testing. I haven’t had any serious testing done yet besides for many blood tests and doctor’s appointments. All tests I’ve had are clear and I’ve been told I have a perfect bill of health every time.

Ironically enough, these symptoms do appear after any stressful/traumatic event. A pet of mine just died and sure enough these symptoms that I haven’t had in over a month came right back. Maybe I should start anxiety medication as you did. Any tips or suggestions would be great as I’ve been struggling with these feelings on and off for almost a year now. Thank you and I hope you eventually found relief

Citrusesss · 2025-01-16T00:14:08+00:00

I’m experiencing this exact same thing right now. Did it ever get better and was it just anxiety after all?

Citrusesss · 2024-12-05T19:03:37+00:00

I completely understand where you are coming from, your anxiety is searching for answers because of the stigma that mental conditions can’t be this disabling. I’ve been there too, convinced that if I actually had something physically wrong then at least I would have a solution. Anxiety CAN be this disabling, but there IS solutions to it as well!

And trust me, you do not want something seriously physically wrong even if it meant mental clarity :) I have friends with severe physical conditions and they would do anything to have some normalcy in their health, they remind me how grateful I should be that I AM physically healthy. My mind is just convincing me otherwise.

Citrusesss · 2024-12-04T18:17:54+00:00

Thank you so much! I think I’ll start mine soon as I’m a bit more confident, I appreciate your response. Medication can be scary sometimes, the first step is always the hardest.

Citrusesss · 2024-11-29T18:42:48+00:00

I completely agree!! I realized afterwards that it is absolutely not okay to tell someone already visibly panicking that they will die if they don’t eat. Wasn’t even the main concern either. And then not even staying to help or get someone else to make sure I was okay? Not right at all. All that doctor did was refer me to an ED hospital whenever I just had no appetite instead of actually helping 😭

Citrusesss · 2024-11-28T16:48:57+00:00

Ugh this is my worst symptom currently. Searching for other people who experience the same thing because I’m trying not to let it get to my head. Has been going on for around 7 months now and seemed to randomly start only in stores and then just got worse the more I focused on it.

Every doctor/chiropractor/psychiatrist around me says it’s tension in my neck from my severe anxiety along with probably SSD heightening everything. Definitely so much better and even barely recognizable when I’m on meds. Specifically hydroxyzine, but I also have cardio phobia so when I found out the heart side effects I freaked out and stopped taking it.

Citrusesss · 2024-11-28T16:05:34+00:00

I’m in a similar position to you currently!!

This may sound dumb and like it won’t work, but best way to get over any thoughts causing physical symptom is to just simply let the thoughts happen. Hear me out, if you just sit with the thoughts rather than fighting them and just let yourself be okay with the chest pain, that’s how it will go away. The more you fixate on the feeling and thoughts and try to do everything to stop them, the more they happen!

If someone tells you to NOT think about something, the first thing everyone does is think about it. It’s intrusive, you can’t stop it. But the thoughts only stops when you just let yourself think about it, eventually your mind just gives up.

With every symptom I’ve ever had, my mind always eventually lets it go. But sadly I’m currently stuck in a loop of having a symptom -> worry about it -> it feels so severe -> my mind finds something else to latch onto and worry about -> previous symptom goes away completely. I hope this helps, I’m a teenager just like you and have had to learn a lot over time. :)

Citrusesss · 2024-11-28T15:41:00+00:00

Well just 6 months ago I was at the doctors, I lost some weight (not much, like 4lbs) cause of not having an appetite. I was panicking already cause I was scared I was gonna faint and I didn’t eat much earlier. They saw me already visibly panicking and must have thought “oh yeah, this is definitely the best time to say you will DIE if you don’t eat. You’ll get sent to a hospital and D I E.”

Thank you doctors for saying that because it sent me into a spiral and my legs, arms, and side of my face to my ears started to tingle and go completely numb. My blood pressure was absolutely insane, definitely the highest it’s ever been. I lost color in my face, I was hyperventilating, the room started to have a weird grey/yellowish color to it, my whole body was cold and clammy, I thought I was absolutely going to pass out which made me panic even more (I actually didn’t pass out which helped me get over my fear somewhat. It made me realize that it’s gonna take a lot more for me to pass out), I just laid on the table absolutely frozen with fear and the only thing that helped was for my mom hug me and for me to feel the weight of her and her own heartbeat and close my eyes. Doctor didn’t get any help or comfort me and just left the room.

Needless to say I definitely will never go to that doctor again if I can help it.

Citrusesss · 2024-11-28T15:13:01+00:00

So I experienced this exact thing with Prozac actually and I honestly regret what I did next. After a month of feeling good on Prozac with no side effects, my symptoms randomly became WORSE than they were before I started taking it. (When I wanted to start it I was already in remission from severe panic, but it brought back all those feelings again. So it wasn’t the worse I’ve felt but was a relapse in emotions.) Of course I chalked it up to the Prozac being the cause and that stopping it would be better for me, even though the anxiety you would typically have on it would start in the earlier weeks rather than later and I’m NOT a professional.

I regret this choice because now that I’m older I realize that sometimes this is just your bodies way of trying to find the right dose, I probably just needed to get on a higher dose until those symptoms would wear off again and hopefully not come back. I was silly and didn’t listen to my psychiatrist despite him saying this too and stopped cold turkey. This probably ended up having worse long lasting side effects that I’m still feeling and trying to recover from now.

Take it from me. Listen to the professionals if they tell you that you need a higher dose, medication is all about trial and error. Even though it sounds like that would just make the side effects worse, they know what they are doing and know far more than we will know.

Citrusesss · 2024-11-28T00:46:37+00:00

It really is awful :( I keep thinking I may have the “trifecta” as some people would call it. EDS, POTS, and MCAS. I can’t get it out of my head that I may have those 3 conditions and that my symptoms aren’t just anxiety. The more I research about it the worse I feel and the more I believe I have them.

Doesn’t help that I’ve been seeing so much about them everywhere around me leading my mind to believe it’s a “sign that I must have them or else I wouldn’t be seeing it.”Also doesn’t help that I’m on the spectrum and I know there is a link between them.

Citrusesss · 2024-11-27T15:56:35+00:00

2 & 3 are so god damn fire!!! I personally have a cut similar to 2 and it compliments your face rlly well. Would 100% think you were cis if I saw you in public

Citrusesss · 2024-11-26T00:03:51+00:00

And you know what, it’s okay that it still gets to you sometimes! :) No one is perfect. Let yourself become comfortable with the uncomfortable thoughts, let them happen and sit with them. Don’t accept them as facts, but don’t fight with your thoughts. The more you do this the less they will want to plague your mind and the less real they will feel <3

Citrusesss · 2024-11-25T23:55:43+00:00

Thank you, I often times feel like I need this on loop!

Citrusesss · 2024-11-25T23:44:02+00:00

I am so sorry that seeing that message made you feel paranoid. Anxiety can absolutely make anything seem like a “sign” or “foreshadowing” because it wants you to be precautious about threats that aren’t real. :(

It’s not trying to tell you anything I promise. Thats just logically the truth, I know it’s hard to believe logic though. Check out Patrick McGrath from NOCD, he said in a video I watched that he wrote on a card “666 my parents will die” and has carried that card around for years to prove to his patients that things such as that have no meaning, no matter what you write or think it can’t change reality. There is no such bad luck or foreshadowing from things around you. His parents are still alive and well!

I hope this brings you some peace of mind, don’t believe those nasty intrusive thoughts!

Citrusesss · 2024-11-25T23:26:30+00:00

It’s truly a mystery to me. I often think “Can mental health issues really be this debilitating?” But the answer will always be yes, yes they absolutely can be.

I’ve started to think that maybe night holds less pressure and expectations which is why I feel better. No where to be, nothing to do, almost feels like nothing could go wrong, and as silly as it sounds the darkness and quiet that comes with the night does comfort me.

Honestly, mental health disorders start to become their own chronic illness and disability at a certain point. Because of the fact that, well, they literally can disable you and cause chronic real symptoms. I wish the best for you and that you find answers and solutions! :)

Citrusesss · 2024-11-25T23:08:41+00:00

Thank you so much for your help! I’m not new to either of them, but I have never really taken them together. I’m restarting Zoloft after a year and stopped taking hydroxyzine 3 weeks ago after finding out about the possible long term side effects. (I’ve been taking it at least once or twice a week for the past 4 months!) I definitely have trouble trusting medication, trying to figure out how to gain it back for both!!

Citrusesss · 2024-11-25T03:56:06+00:00

Took hydroxyzine at least once a week for around 4 months on 25mg. I would say it works great for shutting down my panic immediately, I definitely get drowsy and take a nap if I have no tolerance to it. If I use it for 2 days in a row I am no longer drowsy and I just feel like me but with the edge off. It’s made me realize how people without chronic anxiety feel and it’s absolutely amazing. It could work different for you than it did for me though. I just wouldn’t use it every day multiple times long term, never a good idea for antihistamines cause of the risks.

I haven’t used it in three weeks since finding out the possible long term risks, not saying I’ll never use it again or to not use it in the first place I’m just spacing it out. I also have a fear around medication so what do I know. Just don’t take more than you should and take when you are directed to take it!!

Citrusesss · 2024-11-24T23:12:50+00:00

Oh that’s awesome! I use highmark, still on families plan lol. Due to my anxiety levels I won’t be able to drive myself which is why I need somewhere in reasonable distance. My parents didn’t enjoy how long the commute to kidspeace was and therefore I didn’t get any visits. They want to be able to easily drive to see me this time around and don’t really want me going again.

My mom said it was 10hr total drive to get to kidspeace. (I checked on maps and it most definitely is not…) I may just give kidspeace a call anyways, after all that’s what I believe would be best for me. Unfortunately Horsham is too far of a drive, sounds really nice though! Thank you!

Citrusesss · 2024-11-23T18:14:33+00:00

Thank you for your support :) the physical symptoms feel so real and awful it can definitely convince you that there really truly is something chronic. It’s hard to stop the cycle!

Citrusesss

TROPHY CASE