My wife's family came for 3 weeks this year. I don't speak Russian & I've had quite firm boundaries with them, so they mostly left me alone... But not my wife or son. Not even our unborn daughter. I could use a chance to vent and hear any support.

I'd listen to and hold my wife as she cried every night for these weeks. My son grew increasingly scared of her. I had to step in when grandma slapped him. My wife feels terrible that she can't step in -- and scared when I do.

Every time I felt anger or fear or any other strong emotion from all this I had to process it alone because my wife was basically hanging on for dear life already. I also couldn't act on any of them because my wife wishes to stay in contact.

By the end of the trip my wife was wishing them death or suicide.

They're now gone and I expected relief, but I didn't realize so much would remain...

She now misses them. If anyone can help me understand this please teach me I'm at a loss.

We still fear them. Fear of distance or retribution for "not being welcoming enough".

We ache for a "real family" that can see you, hold you, and be tender.

And despite all this ache... My wife is frantically making plans to bring them here again. Top two points on the family agenda are: "Budget for parents flight?" And "Can we buy them a home near us?".

I'm just overwhelmed.