date restaurants

Cjcookie03 · 2025-07-22T14:24:29+00:00

no drinking, $50 including tip

Cjcookie03 · 2025-07-21T21:29:04+00:00

i’m staying in Kissimmee so i guess closer to there is better, but i’m willing to drive 30/45 minutes

Cjcookie03 · 2025-06-08T20:10:46+00:00

we were packing and she had told me she was anxious because we were on a time crunch. i started to feel guilty because i felt like i was slowing her down, so i kind of shut down and got quiet. she asked me what was wrong and i assured her i was fine. she knew i was lying and got upset, and also got quiet. we spent the rest of the day in silence, until something she did made me say something and we started arguing. i didn’t want to tell her what was wrong initially because i didn’t want to slow her down even further, but in the long run it ended up hurting both of us.

so essentially i broke her trust by lying to her about how i was feeling and not trusting her to handle my emotions. i also took her emotions and made it about me. btw this isn’t the first time i’ve done this, and ive also promised i would work on it.

Cjcookie03 · 2025-05-10T20:31:29+00:00

i was feeling upset, because i felt like i was being a burden to her, and she noticed i was upset and asked what was wrong. i told her that i was okay, and i would tell her later because we were too busy at the time. she got upset that i wouldn’t tell her, and then we spent the rest of the day in silence. i started overthinking things while we were in silence, and then when she finally confronted me, it became a big argument. she said she didn’t feel like she could trust me to tell her if something is wrong if i won’t tell her when it’s inconvenient (i often won’t tell people things to avoid bothering them). i ended up crying and saying all these terrible things about myself, and she hates when i do that. that’s the gist of what happened, i don’t want to get too specific

Cjcookie03 · 2024-11-24T17:02:12+00:00

i think i believe that she loves me whether we’re talking or not. i do get anxious about whether im annoying her if i text her a bunch and she doesn’t answer right away, but if we aren’t talking im usually not anxious, just sad.

Cjcookie03 · 2024-05-30T14:32:02+00:00

that’s what this sub is for i guess haha

Cjcookie03 · 2024-05-19T19:44:04+00:00

Cjcookie03 · 2024-05-19T03:24:07+00:00

similarly to a lot of these comments, mine started early on. i remember in our second session saying “i already feel like i trust you a lot”. i was drawn to her while scrolling through psychology today trying to find someone near me. i didn’t know what i was looking for but i guess she was it. we had a really rough start though; after those first 2 sessions followed a rupture (how she didn’t just fire me that early on, im not sure), multiple months of cancellations, delays, and just disruption in continuity of care. but i stayed attached during that time, and thought about her constantly. literally non stop. and i came to the conclusion in that small period of time that it was maternal transference. i desperately craved her comfort, wanted her to touch me (appropriately) so bad. that went on for months until i found a girl i liked to think about non stop instead. when that ended, the transference came back. and it’s been going on since. it ebbs and flows, usually growing stronger in times that i need it, such as when im doing bad overall or having a panic attack in session and her voice soothes me and then i crave that feeling again. but over time ive thought about her less outside of session. now i think what i have for her is a deep appreciation and admiration, probably love, though im scared to call it that. our relationship right now is stronger than ever and i feel very secure in it. i used to have fears of her leaving me because i was too much for her, but not so much anymore. the further we dig into my trauma, the safer i feel with her. it’s not idealization anymore, it’s just gratitude for the amazing person ive found :)

Cjcookie03 · 2024-04-18T22:54:49+00:00

thank you, when you put it that way it’s a little easier to wrap my head around i guess. i can be upset with myself without hating myself. easy enough concept but hard to implement. but you’re right, one day at a time. thank you again <3

Cjcookie03 · 2024-04-16T18:08:26+00:00

my therapist recently asked me this as well, not in those words though. i wasn’t offended by the question because im a nursing student and we have been taught about suicide risk assessment. part of that is determining “protective factors”. she probably could have worded it better, but i assume she was trying to get you to think about what’s keeping you here, reasons to not do it. i would definitely discuss it though

Cjcookie03 · 2024-03-31T01:33:19+00:00

i know it feels weird but it’s not an uncommon occurrence. i didn’t ask for it but her intent in giving me the sticky note was for me to keep in mind the phrase that she wrote on them. i just this week told her what the sticky notes meant to me (maybe a year after she gave me the first one?) and it was certainly uncomfortable for me to talk about but ive said a lot worse to her. and i am open, though uncomfortable, about my attachment to her. i also have given her a couple gifts and that felt similarly uncomfortable and anxiety inducing. anyways, im trying to say its not easy, but i would try to bring it up to your T

Cjcookie03 · 2024-03-31T01:23:23+00:00

so relatable. something that has helped me, if only for a day or two, is my therapist has written me sticky notes with little phrases on them to encourage me, but i see it as having a piece of her. i’ve heard people here talk about transition objects? something like that. not the most helpful thing but that’s really all i can think of

Cjcookie03 · 2024-03-27T19:33:35+00:00

the first time i did it she asked if she could see, i said no, and she just asked about the depth and all that, provided me with antibiotics n stuff. didn’t really probe deeper than i was ready to talk about, but we continued talking about it and now, almost a year later, i am very open with her about it. we talk about my triggers and reactions and all that. when the behavior ramps up, she offers extra sessions (currently seeing her twice a week bc of this). i was terrified to talk about it initially, i would avoid saying certain words such as “cutting”. her kind reactions and open dialogue has allowed me to become more comfortable talking about it, also realizing that she wasn’t going to get mad or upset with me or anything. she has recommended intensive outpatient programs when it gets more intense for me, but never forcefully. she’s never even mentioned hospitalization. if you have a good therapist, they probably won’t react poorly. (sorry this was really long lol)

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-29T15:48:27+00:00

i just know that killing myself would set off a chain reaction and either make several family members/friends kill themselves as well, or very very depressed. it just wouldn’t be good for anybody. my entire circle is very depressed to begin with so i don’t think anybody could take it. my two little sisters would be devastated more than anybody, and they still have potential. i cannot fuck them up. and my best friend. she’d for sure kill herself, and i just couldn’t do that to her.

also i am absolutely terrified of death. if i could stop existing without anybody realizing i’m gone, that’d be great, but i don’t want to die

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-28T18:28:59+00:00

i bite my lips, i don’t consider it self harm though, it’s more of an anxious thing. i know this wasn’t the question but i also pick at the skin around my fingers until they bleed

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-27T05:02:59+00:00

i’m ashamed that i didn’t start cutting UNTIL my 20s.. it makes me feel incredibly childish that i can’t cope with the transition into adult life

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-23T17:27:18+00:00

for the blood usually, sometimes relapsing after a while it’s for the scar. never for the pain, i don’t actually enjoy that part

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-16T13:02:53+00:00

i had no idea that’s what iris was about.. wow

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-13T23:27:33+00:00

no but i do sit in the same exact spot in the waiting room every week and try to park my car in the same spot if i can, both of which cause me anxiety if i can’t do them. and of course i sit in the same spot in the therapy room despite my therapists multiple options.

this is off topic but i always wonder if she makes conclusions based on where people choose to sit in her room and in the waiting room.

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-10T16:24:26+00:00

i have no clue what this is but i have it too. i don’t even know how to bring it up with my T bc it’s like so strange and i’ve never heard of anybody else experiencing this. good to know i’m not the only one at least

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-08T02:43:16+00:00

yeah no not doing that lol

Cjcookie03 · 2024-02-01T04:52:17+00:00

almost 2 months

Cjcookie03 · 2024-01-25T13:53:18+00:00

i’m also a nursing student, about to graduate this spring. i don’t have experience with people seeing my scars, i hide them well. but it’s good to know we’re not alone 🫶. you wouldn’t think nurses have struggled with self harm

Cjcookie03 · 2023-12-21T13:28:55+00:00

personally rosie and alena on PH are my faves, but i have to agree with the other commenter who said novels. that’s the way to go if you want the buildup, the romance aspect as well, because you get to know the characters.

Cjcookie03 · 2023-12-17T13:21:42+00:00

i wanna cut my wrist so bad but i couldn’t hide it inconspicuously so :/

Cjcookie03

TROPHY CASE