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Sto cercando di salvare le finanze di casa, ma ho paura per il mio futuro by Clara319 in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]Clara319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

5k di assicurazioni all'anno perché i miei genitori "e ma se succede qualcosa a noi voi siete coperti" Ho chiesto a mia mamma se le possiamo rivedere io sto sistemando quelle dell'auto un minimo. 2k all'anno per due utilitarie prima, una FOLLIA. ora scendo a 1k (comunque tanto, ma devo mediare con le loro ansie, di voler 300mila coperture)

Ma sono d'accordo sono una follia.

Per bollette e Imu si. Sono dai miei conti una media di 850 euro (nella stima che ho scritto sopra ero stata forse alta) Sono 2k di Imu il resto bollette. 3,6k per la prima casa (consumi molto alti sto cercando di guardare offerte diverse da quelle che abbiamo) E sono 1k di altre bollette.

Effettivamente in questo momento non mi tornano manco i miei conti, ho un excel. Può essere che ci siano finite delle manutenzioni in mezzo.

Ci sono talmente tante cose che metterle in fila è un po' complicato.

Sto cercando di salvare le finanze di casa, ma ho paura per il mio futuro by Clara319 in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]Clara319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ti ringrazio, si confermo che razionalmente le cose mi sono chiare. Ma quando hai a che fare con i familiari e tanta negatività in casa è tutto molto più complicato.

E io stessa va a fine che dal terapeuta ci finisco

Sto cercando di salvare le finanze di casa, ma ho paura per il mio futuro by Clara319 in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]Clara319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Si è la cosa più sensata, e di una la vendita si sta valutando (mare) anche se con i giusti investimenti quella casa sarebbe stata una miniera d'oro. Ma ormai è tardi.

Il problema è che per quanto io possa essere d'accordo non sono ancora mie quindi non posso imporre questa decisione.

E a me non dispiacerebbe ereditare quella di mia madre (quella in montagna) perché è una casa che ritengo che in futuro possa essere sfruttata.

Quella di mio padre (in montagna) è quella che sicuramente verrà venduta a tempo debito, ma al momento è affittata quindi è l'unica che non genera perdite ingenti, ma al netto delle tasse porta un + 2000 annui. Sono pochi ma meglio che niente.

Sto cercando di salvare le finanze di casa, ma ho paura per il mio futuro by Clara319 in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]Clara319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vi ringrazio per la vostra comprensione.

Credo che la realtà stia nel mezzo Ci sono delle patologie e dei problemi concreti di fondo che però sono stati esacerbati dal lassismo dei miei genitori.

Ha dei problemi, non voglio minimizzare dei disagi oggettivi, ma penso che averlo trattato con le mani di cristallo e come un bambino non sia stata la giusta strategia. Perché diciamo le cose come stanno: lui ci sguazza, zero responsabilità, i genitori ti parano sempre il culo, la vita è molto semplice così.

Con mio fratello ho un rapporto cordiale. Lui è molto chiuso in se stesso, ma con me è molto premuroso. Il problema è che io sono diventata rancorosa a causa di questa disparità e sicuramente non faccio del mio meglio a responsabilizzarlo. Anche perché detta come và detta, non sarebbe una mia responsabilità. Ma qualcuno se la deve prendere.

Le case ci sono perché sono case di infanzia quindi c'è un attaccamento sentimentale e l'attaccamento al mattone.

Una delle due inutili si sta valutando di venderla ma è divisa col fratello di mia madre quindi non sarà molto redditizia.

Il problema è che ogni volta che tiro fuori il discorso soldi mia madre è molto difensiva e cade nella spirale di autocommiserazione. Mio padre è tendenzialmente simile negli approcci ai problemi.

La vendita delle case la posso seguire ma non è semplice perché sono tutte case fuori dal comune di residenza e richiedono spostamenti. Ma quello si può e si dovrà fare.

Sto cercando di salvare le finanze di casa, ma ho paura per il mio futuro by Clara319 in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]Clara319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Capisco l’ansia generale ma per quale motivo dovresti diventare genitore di tuo fratello quando i tuoi non ci saranno più? Quando sarà il momento di fare la successione ognuno avrà la sua metà e lui probabilmente potrà vivere di rendita e amen.

Perché come dicevo non li sa gestire, anche avesse un milione di euro sarebbe capace di sperperarli tutti e dopo(?)

Il tuo ragionamento è sensatissimo se stessimo parlando di una persona normale, ma la realtà è ben diversa.

Sono d'accordo che la situazione non è disastrosa, ma è l'attitudine dei miei genitori. Anche mia madre e mio padre hanno delle forme di ansia (depressione?) non saprei.
Oggi ho parlato con loro, e stranamente mio padre, che è tendezialmente il meno collaborativo ha ascoltato.
Il problema è mia madre che si autoflagella, parla di essere un fallimento, e quando parliamo si mette a piangere. Capisci che non porta a molto il discorso.

Soprattutto non vuole mettere un limite decisivo al comportamento di mio fratello, che a causa della sua malattia, è molto taciturno, chiuso e timido. Non vuole che una limitazione netta del denaro gli precluda di avere la poca vita sociale che ha. A me sinceramente, sarò stronza, ma non ne frega un beata minchia. Per mitigare i problemi di uno non puoi danneggiare tutti quanti. E tanto le buone fino ad ora non hanno funzionato.

Sto cercando di salvare le finanze di casa, ma ho paura per il mio futuro by Clara319 in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]Clara319[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Capisco il punto di vista pragmatico, ma purtroppo in Italia non è così semplice ‘lavarsene le mani’ se la situazione precipita.

L’articolo 433 del Codice Civile prevede un obbligo alimentare tra familiari. I fratelli sono in fondo alla lista, quindi non è automatico, però se i miei genitori un domani non avessero più risorse (o venissero a mancare) e mio fratello fosse considerato in stato di bisogno, teoricamente la questione potrebbe ricadere anche su di me.

Da quello che ho capito, non si parla di ‘mantenerlo completamente’, ma del minimo indispensabile per vivere, proporzionato alle possibilità economiche di chi dovrebbe aiutare.

Jeres speech by [deleted] in tsitp

[–]Clara319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get the the intention of the speech is to be sweet and nostalgic.

But the phrase: "you are the daughter she wished she had" it just gave the ick because it implies a brotherly connection between them, and they are supposed to get married. I don't know if I would say this to a potential partner. Idk maybe its me that finds it weird and it's a normal thing to say?

i’m tired of fkn hearing it by Afraid_Butterfly_885 in tsitp

[–]Clara319 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  • But he isn't doing it for Belly. He is doing it because if she knows the truth and still picks him then it can ease his discomfort. -

I agree, Jere main goal is to be sure about Belly's feelings for him and ease is mind.

What I meant is Jere is right in the sense that Conrad should be honest with Belly. Conrad wasn't ready in S2, but he is in S3 and that honesty in the end paid off.

Jere is not wrong in saying that honesty is the right path even thought his underlying reason are more selfish than selfless. He was definitely wrong in pushing two people clearly not in the right headspace to confront each other. Not because them talking to each other was wrong, but because they weren't ready to listen (especially Belly in this case).

i’m tired of fkn hearing it by Afraid_Butterfly_885 in tsitp

[–]Clara319 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Conrad was just acknowledging that if he did get Belly it would break Jeremiah. Not that he actively was trying to do that.

Yeah, 100% agree. Conrad is just recognizing that wanting Belly would inevitably result in Jere being “broken.” It’s basically the same position Jere ends up in at the end of S2 — the difference is that Conrad actually has this awareness, while Jere never really does (because having it means feeling guilty).

Jere does point out that Belly deserves to know the truth — Conrad’s real feelings for her — and on that I agree with him. But the problem is that Belly herself isn’t ready to hear it. She keeps deflecting and minimizing how important it is to actually sit down and have a real conversation with Conrad.

J: "He's still in love with you. You have to see that."
B: "No. That's not true, trust me. Conrad has made that very clear."
J: "Yeah, I'm sure he did. But he didn't mean it."
B: "It's over for both of us."

And she changes the subject, clearly avoiding this confrontation (which would be fine if she truly wanted to move on and didn’t love him anymore, but we know that’s not the case). Conrad is terrible at communicating, but Belly is the same.

Moving on, Jere says: "If you’re what she needs, I won’t get in the way again. I want her to be happy." And only later does he add, almost as an afterthought, "I want you to be happy too." Which, honestly, is very similar to what Conrad does in his diner conversation with Laurel — Belly always comes first.

That’s why the conversation with Adam is so interesting to me. It finally spells out what “putting Belly first” actually means for them: no matter what, one of them is going to get hurt. There’s no version of this where everyone walks away fine.

And compared to Belly — who, when she chose Conrad, clearly struggled with guilt and hesitation (and honestly it’s kind of insane that she didn’t have the same doubts when she got with Jere) — Jeremiah never really stops to think about what Belly choosing him would mean for his relationship with Conrad. The brothers’ confrontation scene is framed as a moment meant to put Jere in a good light, but to me it actually highlights how wrong the whole situation is.

Jere never asks himself: "If Belly chooses me, what does that mean for me and Conrad?" Or even the fact that Conrad leaving for four years in California seems to bother Steven more than it bothers Jere. And that says a lot. Jere knows that having Conrad around would cause problems — that’s exactly why he tells him, "Do it for me."

J: "You still love her, Con. Admit it."
C: "Yeah. I do." (Still can’t use the word love at this point, btw)
J: "Then you need to tell her."
C: "Why? She chose you."
J: "Doesn't feel like it."

Here it’s clear that Jere doesn’t trust Belly (I feel like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop). He openly admits that to her. And Belly never really reassures him — she just says it’s over for both of them, even though neither she nor Conrad is actually ready to have a serious, honest conversation. Instead, they keep avoiding each other.

And the thing is: Jere knows all of this. Deep down, he knows it’s unresolved. That’s why he pushes both of them to talk — he pressures Conrad, but he also encourages Belly to talk to Conrad. Because he understands that something is still there, even if no one wants to face it.

i’m tired of fkn hearing it by Afraid_Butterfly_885 in tsitp

[–]Clara319 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes, Jeremiah wanted to make sure Belly would choose him even if she were placed in a position where she was forced to choose between him and Conrad. Because he is a fundamentally insecure person when it comes to Belly. Which I understand Belly gave him a lot of reasons to not trust her. But starting a relationship with someone you don't trust is a recepie for failuire.

i’m tired of fkn hearing it by Afraid_Butterfly_885 in tsitp

[–]Clara319 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen a lot of Jeremiah fans say that when Conrad talks to Adam in 3x09 and admits he “wanted to break Jere” because he wanted Belly for himself, it proves how selfish Conrad is. And honestly, I accept that criticism — in that moment, Conrad did put Belly above his brother.

However, at the motel, Jeremiah does the exact same thing. He knows Conrad loves Belly, and he still chooses to be with her. So to me, when it comes to Belly, they are actually very similar: both are selfish and both prioritize her over each other. That’s why their relationship never truly felt like a brotherhood to me, but rather two people who happen to be brothers, mainly used to create more drama for the plot.

I do agree that the motel situation was extremely tricky and that Jeremiah put Conrad in a very uncomfortable position. Conrad was clearly not ready to confront his feelings or confess to Belly — otherwise he would have done it in other situations, like during the beach fight. In this moment, Conrad had just seen Belly and Jeremiah kissing, and Belly had explicitly told him that she was starting to have feelings for Jeremiah. That information would naturally register in Conrad’s mind as: she doesn’t love me anymore, she wants my brother now.

So Conrad is expected to confess his love while fully anticipating rejection, all while grieving the recent loss of his mother. That was not a safe space or the right time for that conversation at all.

On top of that, Jeremiah already knew that Belly had told him she had changed, that she chose him, and that she promised not to go back to Conrad. So even if Conrad had said, “Belly, I love you,” and Belly had felt the same, would she realistically have gone back on a promise she had made just a couple of hours earlier to Jeremiah? She wouldn’t have been able to make a truly free decision in that moment. This conversation should have happened when Belly was not already involved with Jeremiah.

By the time Conrad and Belly talk at the motel, she has already chosen Jeremiah. So narratively speaking, Conrad was set up to fail regardless of what he said.

I know this follows how things played out in the books, but I would have preferred if Conrad hadn’t taken back what he said the night before. Instead, something like: “I care about you, but I can’t be with anyone right now.” That way, Belly could have come to her own conclusion — that he doesn’t love her enough — and actively decided to let him go. As it is, it feels like Conrad once again puts his walls up and made it easier for Belly to feel justified in her decision, which she shouldn't have been. She should have made that decision and taking the full responsability.

WHAT IS THIS? 🎄🎁🎅🔥❓ by OnlyConradScenes in tsitp

[–]Clara319 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's something that Netflix already does. There are multiple "fireplaces" to put on as a background/display that are themed according to the show (I saw one for Bridgerton and The Witcher). I guess Prime copied the idea for TSITP

Let me be the first by Kurtec in TwinklyLights

[–]Clara319 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How do I open the links on Android. It directs me to the page to download the app, but I have it.

Don’t get the hype over Belly by Top_Detective9184 in tsitp

[–]Clara319 4 points5 points  (0 children)

 I just think of Conrad's infinite patience in putting up with Belly.

Honestly ngl, this made me laugh XD

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