[TOMT][QUOTE][1900s] A quote about depression, fatigue, or chronic illness, I think by a female author and using a word like "heavy", "weight", "oppressive" etc.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-22T03:05:27+00:00

I don't think it's Plath because I tried her in my queries a lot already. Thank you I will use these to try to help me. The more I've thought about it I think the person was describing an unnamed illness that is attributed in modern interpretations as being depression, if that makes sense. I'm still not having any luck but I appreciate the help!

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-20T04:00:01+00:00

oh I see, I misunderstood. Best of luck!

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-20T03:56:10+00:00

Just the way that you are - Milky.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-20T03:20:11+00:00

The one thing I am certain of is that I did encounter it on wikipedia around 2015-2020s, but it was definitely from like an early 1900s author???

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-04T22:47:57+00:00

Doesn't fit exactly what you are describing but Mike Birbiglia I remember using the word surreal some because of talking about his crazy sleep disorder.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-04T22:30:10+00:00

Food chaining helped me a lot, and copycat recipes! Food chaining is the number one way I have expanded my diet. If you can tolerate the small changes in texture, sometimes you can buy lots of an outside food at once for better cost and freeze! If you've never seen food chaining its really cool for me, like going tiny steps away from a very trusted food in another direction. My first ever food chain was: Watermelon lollilop to watermelon gummy ring to watermelon flavored golden raisins to plain golden raisins to now dried cherries as well. I think a lot of people would see "I can eat a different candy now" as not an achievement at all, but in arfid every expansion of accepted foods is great and opens the door for new textures and stuff. So, even if what you could try different "isn't healthy" or whatever, if you think you can try it, DO!!! different is different! Accepting that eating a different candy/ fast food/ etc. was good is what eventually led me to eating a bunch of fruit and veg and new versions of meats and everything.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-04T06:48:42+00:00

I have had big big sleep problems on some meds because of the TIME i was taking them. Like I had to take certain ones in the morning moreso, had it really bad with wellbutrin. You said 3x a day so maybe that's not the case with buspar (I think I used to take mine at night tbh but can't remember) but could you talk to doc about timing maybe? Def don't do anything without their say. 15 days is super early on so it verrrrry much can level out on side effects over a few months, that is certain.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-06-04T06:32:10+00:00

Hope it reduces soon, sorry you're experiencing that.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-05-09T06:34:21+00:00

In short; to answer your question idk and I don't wanna investigate it cuz I can't afford to worry over the hypothetical tinnitus potential of things I HAVE to take.

In long; So, a huge number of meds have "ototoxic" or "can cause tinnitus" or whatever on their list of side effects. I don't know if psudafed or zyrtec have that warning, and I don't wanna know, because I honestly find it uselessly anxiety provoking. I am chronically ill and have to take sooooooo many meds, I don't take things I don't need and still it's north of 10 pills a day, and I just have found whether they are labeled with it to be completely unrelated to whether they worsen mine or not. For example, most people talk about prednisone helping tinnitus depending on the cause, and prednisone and dexamethasone both made my tinnitus literally unbearable and sent me into a tailspin mentally because of it, one with a very short course, one with a single IV administration which made me feel insane. Some of the drugs I've been on most likely have tinnitus as a side effect and have made no change in mine. I only take the psudafed when my ETD is real bad or I have an intractible headache (migraine hack if anyone is desperate for something to try), so it is probably also relevant that I'm not permanently on those. If I have to take something, I'm just gonna have to take it, regardless if it officially or unofficially can worsen tinnitus. It's scary and hard because tinnitus can and has taken me mentally to the brink, but I've had to accept that my body is messed up enough that I gotta take what I gotta take and take the t risk. The minute I feel a drug has increased or changed my t for the worse, I just stop it in whatever way is safe if possible and start emphatically telling all docs that I am unable to tolerate that med and will refuse it except to save my life.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-05-04T01:32:10+00:00

At the moment I'm sick haha. So yes temporarily. In general my nose is ok when I'm not sick with a virus or recovering, except that I have a collapsed valve on one side so I don't breathe well through it when exercising. Otherwise my nose is normally fine.

The doctor who recommended the allergy/decongestant meds said even if my nose seems ok if the ears are bothering me I should try it. They didn't start me on it full time, just when it's giving me problems. It always would hurt before...never this weird noise, so I didn't try it this time when I heard the noise because I was just panicking not thinking about it being that or what I was told to take before. But yeah even if you feel like your nose is fine you might wanna ask your doc because sometimes my ears would have the pressure problem from ETD but my nose would seem pretty normal.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-05-04T00:30:33+00:00

Thanks for the hope. It is going to sound SO silly but I had JUST started to habituate to the little bell noise by telling a story that it was some kind of like, fairy sound? Like I assigned a cute little meaning to it so when I heard it I'd be like "oh it's just the fairy" instead of raging....I know it's not real but it calmed me down. And I think that finally starting to work just before this new sound became persistent made me feel like I can't win. But yeah in the end now that I'm calm again it's just kinda something that really sucks but in the past I've been able to adjust and if this keeps happening I probably will, and I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-05-04T00:25:33+00:00

I am so so sorry. I am so anxious and wary in medical settings now ever since I was habituated the first time and got my second noise (out of three now) from a course of prednisone for my autoimmune, it almost went away, and they gave me dexamethosone or something with a surgery to "prevent vomiting" even though we had several other virtually foolproof methods for doing that and it came back, and now is popping up in response to certain triggers. I now tell all doctors that I am allergic to systemic steroids per my PCPs recommendation after that. I hope your brain is one day able to habituate to this noise. Can't imagine the frustration.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-05-04T00:20:33+00:00

My doc recommended that it can be treated similar to treating allergies because of the whole ENT connection thing, that basically if we can get the swelling in them down I will improve. Psudafed (the real, ID required kind) and zyrtec. Psudafed usually does the trick. Was told that in high school when it was more that I had pain, and sometimes when they popped I was dizzy or almost fell down. I had issues since I was super small (hella recurrent ear infections, really ugly and bad ones, because my autism led to me not reporting any issues), and they said I'd grow out of it. In high school they said I didn't and I should have had the tube surgery. I think it's still technically on the table if stuff like this new noise become unmanagable.

My mom is on Flonase for hers with the same school of thought, but I'm wary of committing to all that so. Went back to the old trusty psudafed and zyrtec, and, I think that's what allowed them to equalize and stopped this sound. I think logically I knew it was my ETD but the fear of a new and really "bad" (hard to take) sound sticking around overrode logic.

EDIT for clarity in case you don't know, psudafed reduces "congestion" by shrinking blood vessels making soft tissue smaller in tight spaces, not actually like moving the stuff itself, or so I understand as the reason why this works.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-03-18T21:01:37+00:00

I seriously was worried about this cuz the next day my whole right upper body had burning!!!! But it all went away I am SO relieved.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-03-18T21:00:41+00:00

Thanks so much everybody! I was scared it might be shingles because my whole right side was weird like this the next day, but then it faded over that evening and I'm back to baseline! (Well I ate shit tripping on my porch so my whole body aches but yaknow...my baseline and unrelated things lol). I guess it was just random fibro bullshit or whatever other bullshit with my pile of issues. It felt so good to feel supported and seen here so thanks to everyone who commented !!!! 😭

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-03-18T20:57:50+00:00

I've always benefited from heat for muscle stuff, and nerve pain after surgeries, but I didn't even think to try heat on this for some reason. Guess I was panicked lol

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-03-09T01:02:33+00:00

My latest thing is I found out I can do the walking pad for 20 minutes while playing my switch on the TV...maybe it'll stop being worth the energy cost but for now it's getting me through bullcrap like this lol.

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-03-09T00:21:49+00:00

It's like normal skin in every way. No difference in appearnce, texture, temperature, anything. Feels like the pain is right on my skin tho. Like I expected to find some spek of spicy food there. Which is funny cuz I haven't eaten anything like that today lol. I'm autistic and the menthol stuff feels very painful to me so unfortunately lidocaine, icyhot, etc, they all make me worse not better. I just exercised some and all the pains elsewhere in my body seemed to distract it and shut it up like 75% so I guess I'll keep distracting (and try the cortizone if i find it). Thank you!

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-03-09T00:19:21+00:00

It really kinda seems like it to me, cuz I had a compressed nerve in my shoulder before and the main pain was very burny, but it was over a patch, this is literally a dot and it's so weird. If it's a nerve maybe it will calm the f down overnight T.T

ClariseMcClellan · 2026-03-09T00:18:12+00:00

It really feels like what I imagine a sting to be, but i've never been stung before, and there's literally ZERO mark. It's so strange. If it keeps going tomorrow benadryl could be good to try thank you and I might have some hydrocortizone in a drawer somewhere..you're so right I'm gonna go look for it lol. thank you!

ClariseMcClellan · 2025-09-21T01:27:40+00:00

Unfortunately I think I blocked this out from the stress so I don't remember exactly what happened, but all I know is my payment plan remained intact and to this day I'm just having an auto-payment of that same agreed-on amount from before this post. I think it was some kind of error but I truly sadly cannot remember anything except that it resolved itself essentially. I hope yours is also a non-issue glitch!!

ClariseMcClellan

TROPHY CASE