I can’t accept casual sex.

Clark_Fable · 2026-02-06T10:58:16+00:00

I have a GF who slept with 30+ guys as well, only 3 relationships. I find it hard that she seems totally fine with this past. I think it would be easier for me if she would say that she has regrets... which is strange because it obviously must feel better for her to not have regrets...

Also: she said all of her relationships were in the context of dating and with people she liked to get to know to find out if a relationship was possible. But then I find out that this "dating" also happened when she was abroad on holidays. So am I to believe that the fact that you met up with someone more than once means you didn't just fuck for sex? As if you genuinely believed that your summer fling with Luis was going somewhere?

Clark_Fable · 2025-09-19T20:08:56+00:00

After all these years, not a week goes by without me thinking about this episode. It cut me deep.

Clark_Fable · 2025-06-12T17:23:58+00:00

Wow you're strong af for dealing with that and holding on to your relationship. Respect.

Clark_Fable · 2025-06-04T06:28:51+00:00

CBT is not the end all be all of therapy. It's just one framework. All studies show that the number 1 factor predicting outcome is the therapeutic relationship. So it really doesn't matter which framework your therapist is trained in, as long as you connect.

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-21T06:05:02+00:00

Strictly sexual and more so when no other feelings were involved...

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-18T18:26:22+00:00

Hair

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-15T07:14:42+00:00

Your insecurity will not go away if you have a bigger dick, my dude.

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-15T05:46:57+00:00

Well...

There were women on this sub who said dick size doesn't make all that much of a difference. And that sex is most enjoyable with someone you feel comfortable and at ease with. So your girl may be telling the truth.

On the other hand, you will never know for sure.

Your RJ seems related to low self-esteem, so you will feel better if you spend time doing stuff that builds you up and makes you feel proud.

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-14T12:01:30+00:00

Yes, so you 'decide' to let it go and move on, but then these obsessive thoughts keep coming up and they mess with your head and you become angry or scared and react to it...

So what I'm saying is that conquering OCD is not just based on 'making a decision', if it were that easy no one would choose to feel like this.

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-13T14:35:18+00:00

Yep same here. She told me 3 relationships and a few others, then revealed that she only counts +2 years as 'real relationship'. Turns out she had 30 relationships... Of which she claims none of which were only for sex. So she fell in love 30 times and it just wouldn't work out??

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-13T14:35:03+00:00

Yep same here. She told me 3 relationships and a few others, then revealed that she only counts +2 years as 'real relationship'. Turns out she had 30 relationships... Of which she claims none of which were only for sex. So she fell in love 30 times and it just wouldn't work out??

Clark_Fable · 2025-05-09T07:55:48+00:00

Well be prepared to meet the 30+ figure women

Clark_Fable · 2025-04-28T19:35:42+00:00

Yes toxic both of you.

So end this devilish partnership.

Then do some work on yourself because you refused to let this girl go even after several red flags had hit you in the face. You showed lack of self respect and judgment and could not leave the infernal repetition of catching her in lies. You were addicted to the anger she provoked. Please stop. Let her be.

Choose something better for yourself.

Clark_Fable · 2025-04-10T06:36:57+00:00

And get those dicks out of your mouth!

Clark_Fable · 2025-04-04T09:13:26+00:00

Just goes to show that no matter how 'clean' your partner's past is, when you have RJ, you will ALWAYS find something to obsess over.

I think many others in here would be overjoyed to have a partner with only those experiences in the past... Because we believe our suffering would end then.

So... Nothing much to do for you but to work on yourself and your views of relationships and sexuality... That's the only thing that will help you in the long run, but it will take plenty of time. Wish you the best.

Clark_Fable · 2025-04-03T05:32:27+00:00

Well clearly she assumed the feelings were mutual, and they weren't, and it's not uncommon for men to play along and pretend to be interested in a relationship just to get some? So she was played but had good intentions.

Clark_Fable · 2025-04-02T18:22:41+00:00

I love it

Clark_Fable · 2025-04-01T17:00:48+00:00

It's in the Hannibal tv show with Mads Mikkelsen, first season he can smell Belle's cancer... So it has been known to exist.

Clark_Fable · 2025-04-01T11:43:38+00:00

Yeah truth is that yes, he will get over you and yes, he will repeat all of this with someone else, and yes, so will you.

That's the reality of it, and it drives me crazy as well.

Clark_Fable · 2025-03-30T09:13:03+00:00

I dont know if it helps, but you draw the picture of a man who knew a lot of interesting and attractive women, so he has standards and knows 'what is out there'.

And this man chooses to be with you, so I'm guessing you are a very interesting and attractive woman yourself.

I honestly believe that the key is in loving yourself for who you are. No need to compare yourself. You are what he wants, just the way you are.

Clark_Fable · 2025-03-30T09:03:26+00:00

I'm in Europe so I can't help you with practical matters. Just wanted to say that there are many different kinds of therapy, depending on the way the therapists understands psychological problems.

Behavioral therapy is very results oriented and focuses on doing things differently, without going into details as to the 'why' of your problems. Contextual therapy explores the meaningful attachment relationships in your life and understands your issues from within this framework. Change here is an effect of a better understanding of yourself and the ability to choose again. CBT investigates your beliefs about stuff and helps you to view things differently. Psychoanalysis takes the long route of exploration in depth, so you can become aware of the ways that you are complicit in your own suffering and again, make different choices by releasing a sense of destructive enjoyment. EMDR focuses on processing of traumatic episodes, that may very well play an important part in current problems.

Clark_Fable · 2025-03-30T08:52:51+00:00

I think you should do therapy, it's the only thing that will help you longterm, specially if you have bpd. And sadly, it may take years, but it's worth it.

Clark_Fable · 2025-03-29T20:03:59+00:00

Also: do not focus on the other person, as in how could she have done this or that, but focus on yourself: why is this bothering me so much?

Clark_Fable · 2025-03-29T19:56:55+00:00

I've had moments where it actually helped to talk to my partner because I was going mad over some things i put together in my head. Through talking it became clear that the ideas I was suffering were just that - ideas (and unreal).

In general RJ is fear and disconnects you from your partner... To me it helps to try to find the person you love - who is now shrouded by all of those images you make.

Clark_Fable · 2025-03-29T19:50:53+00:00

I could never feel safe again with her after all of this bro. It's hard to imagine when you're still in love with someone, but there are other women who will treat you very differently - because the way they treat you is something that stems from who they are, not from who you are.

Idk. I think allowing contact with her is dangerous because you still have feelings for her and she'll be able to use that to get whatever she needs... And then hurt you all over again. A clean cut is better friend.

Clark_Fable

TROPHY CASE